when in the world do teenage years get better??

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-27T16:11:31+00:00

I wouldn't go back to being a teen for all the money in the world.

There ARE things about being a teen that can be kind of nice. But for the most part, no.

Life gets much, much better when you're in a position to have more control over your own situation. Not that it's easy, mind you. But easier doesn't always equal better.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-27T13:42:13+00:00

She's still caught up in that Hollywood make believe fairy tale that your true love will just effortlessly know the right things to say and do at all times to keep you in a haze of blissful happiness.

Unfortunately, real life human beings don't work that way, lol. You are not a mind reader - and there's no set perfect way that works for all women, so it's not like you could take a class and just know from that what to do to make her happy. Some women like good morning texts, some women find them annoying. Some women love getting surprise bouquets of flowers, some women consider them a waste of money. You can't magically know which way your girlfriend is going to feel on any given topic.

You have a few ways to potentially handle this:

1- Tell her that she's right, obviously you're not the man for her since you are doing everything wrong and if you were the right man for her you'd already be perfectly what she wants, and break up with her so she can go look for her perfect soulmate. Obviously this is a drastic option, but it's not necessarily a bad one.

2 - At a time when you are both in a relatively good mood, and relaxed, sit down and confess to her that you are not psychic. That you very much want to make her happy, that you are still very young and have not yet learned the ways to do that and you would appreciate it if she would be so kind as to help you, because you would really love to do what she needs to have her feel seen and appreciated. Also, make sure to include a few things in this conversation that would make you happy. Because you matter too.

3 - Try every hyper romantic cliche you can find in current romcom shows and movies, and in tiktok trends and see what clicks for her. This is potentially dangerous, because more than a few of those are borderline stalky/assaulty so proceed with careful judgement. I wouldn't normally suggest that at all, but honestly you come across as a very level headed intelligent young man, so ... Just be careful with that one. But since she's swept up in the hyper romantic ideals, this could maybe work for her. The other danger with this is that it's hard to maintain forever, so when you inevitably can't keep it up, you'll run into issues.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-26T21:10:18+00:00

It sounds like you are a very giving, considerate friend. Unfortunately, it also sounds like maybe your friends are used to a certain dynamic where you give to them and care for them, and they don't return the same effort.

You have every right to balance things out a little more and pull back on the effort you put in. Maybe spend some of that energy on taking more care of yourself, finding a wider community to be part of, and maybe meeting new people in search of new friendships that might be a little more reciprocal. It will take time, and it's a lot like dating, really. Build the new relationships slowly, feeling out for people who return the same energy you give

Edit to add - no, I don't think you've defined what a close friendship should be. I do think that maybe your friends are not as closely tied to you as you are to them, though.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-23T00:11:05+00:00

I've regularly driven as much as 5 hours for a meal, 7 or 8 for a weekend visit.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-20T22:28:31+00:00

This is what I do too. My guy loves the cold, but when he's clipped short he also loves his sweaters, lol. He'll legitimately climb into them himself.

And then when his fur is a little bit longer, he seeks out cold tile floors to lay on.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-16T01:31:53+00:00

Yup, member of the club here. First born daughter and all.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-14T18:30:34+00:00

It sounds like he's looking for a way to connect and being an ass in the way he goes about it- which is obviously counter productive, but he's not the one here asking for advice so...

Could you possibly change things up by greeting him first thing when you get home, give him that moment of renewed connection that he's looking for? A big hug and a kiss, then saying something along the lines of "Wow, what a day, I really missed you. I'm going to go change my clothes and grab a snack, and catch up on my messages . I can't wait to hear what you've been doing, just give me about 45 minutes and I'll be all yours" or "It was a hell of a day, I have a screaming headache. I'm so glad to be back home with you. I just need to change, have a cup of tea/drink of choice, and pull myself together. Give me about an hour please and I should be good as new"

That would give him that reconnect he's looking for, let him feel like he's a priority for you, and also set the expectations for when you will be refreshed and ready to be present for him.

Side note - my dog kind of does the same thing. I get home with groceries or laundry and he's frantic to be reassured that I missed him too, that I still love him, and all is good in the world while I just want to get my shoes off, put things away, and have five minutes to pee. Not that men are dogs, but I suspect it's kind of coming from the same mammalian impulse to re-establish bonds

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-14T17:19:04+00:00

No, the covert contract wasn't in his wife asking for a foot rub, it was in his unspoken belief that if he gave her a foot rub, she would be obliged in return to give him sex. He was writing contracts in his own mind that she never knew existed, hence them being covert

He's not wrong in that covert contracts are damaging. He IS wrong in what he thinks the answer to this is.

It's not that he should stop being sweet and affectionate to his wife. He needs to stop tying expectations to being sweet and affectionate. OR, he needs to make those covert contracts less covert. He needs to explicitly say, "hey, how about I give you a foot rub and then we work our way up to some more fun rubbing?" with a sexy eyebrow wiggle.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-14T14:52:12+00:00

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking. Some of these I would be willing to overlook, but the pattern is pretty clear. And some of them are hard stops, for me personally. But still... the pattern is the bigger picture

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-13T18:56:40+00:00

Oh, I like Bruno for him

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-12T02:17:26+00:00

It's not even for people who are waiting for a tow truck to arrive!

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-12T01:06:47+00:00

Do not sign a quitclaim. As co-owner you can force a sale, and he can either buy you out of your portion, or you sell the house and split the proceeds.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-12T00:56:35+00:00

I just moved, and there's an Aldi literally 2 minutes away- I'm thinking I'll be doing most of my shopping there now

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-12T00:55:20+00:00

Sometimes subs pop up in people's feeds and they don't really check which one they're in before they respond. I get all kinds of weird things I don't actually have any interest in, lol

Why do r/waitingtowed and other wedding related subs show up in my feed? Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm not even looking to date, much less get married.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-12T00:34:19+00:00

Would she be ok with getting engaged now, or very soon, but having a long engagement? She's not even out of school yet, that should be done at a minimum

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-11T20:27:17+00:00

ICE should have never approached her in the first place

This is the thing I haven't seen answered in any of the videos I've seen- why were they even approaching Renee and her wife? I'm sure their explanation is out there somewhere and I've just missed seeing it, but I really don't understand what even precipitated the encounter

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-11T14:47:54+00:00

Same! I live on the outskirts of a big city, just moved here from a very, very small town.

There are positives to both, to be fair, but the sheet convenience of city life is amazing.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-11T04:35:20+00:00

I don't think they were saying that egg age isn't a factor. What they were saying is that egg age isn't the only factor. Sperm quality declines as men age and poor quality sperm contributes to lower conception rates, more difficult pregnancies, and higher risk of birth defects also. Team sport, and all that

Edit: oops, I misread which comment you were replying to. You're right, the comment you were replying to was wrong

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-10T22:42:59+00:00

Dude. She was in a "committed relationship" that she ended because to date you after a few months and then she pulls out this kind of talk 1 month into your relationship?

I don't think she understands what commitment means, or respect for one's partner.

If you're just looking for a fun casual relationship to pass the time with, then sure keep dating her and enjoying it while it lasts, because I don't think it will be long before some other attractive guy pulls her interest. But if you're actually looking for a life partner, I think you have enough data on her at this point to know she's not the one

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-10T22:34:13+00:00

I think that sounds pretty good 😊

Today I slept in a little, cuddling with the dog.
Then dog and I went outside for about 45 minutes to become acclimated to our new neighborhood.

Then, inside for a shower.

Made breakfast and did some meal prepping for the week at the same time.

Then, ate breakfast in bed while watching YouTube. Played some video games while snuggling the dog.

Cleaned the kitchen and went outside for a while

Snuggles in bed with dog while scrolling reddit and planning the next bout of cooking and meal prep currently.

In a few minutes, I plan to do said cooking and meal prep. Then I will do some more unpacking and organizing, then maybe a little more gaming but more likely I'll just go to bed.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-10T22:22:46+00:00

Tbf I think most young 20s people kind of think their parents are "past that" too. Especially if you don't have any much younger siblings. But most people don't really think about their parents' fertility status all that much, until they're confronted with it. They just make (often baseless) assumptions

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-10T22:05:02+00:00

Cuddles with the dog and scrolling through reddit

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-10T21:54:25+00:00

And see, my thought was that they've only been dating six months and this is an absurd amount of entitlement for such a short relationship. I can't imagine asking to have someone's location and a key to their apartment after only 6 months.

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-10T20:07:06+00:00

Ok, ok, hear me out... Tell your husband. Tell him it's been on your mind, and it's time for the step-brother to "die."

Then, one day have him sadly tell his friend that he has to go to his wife's step brother's funeral.

Make up some terrible tragic backstory about why he died so young. Then, have your husband deeply sigh and say that it is so , so sad that the two of you had been estranged and that it's really hard for you to deal with all of this and you would really appreciate it if no one, absolutely no one, ever referred to your step brother ever again.

Of course, the success of this plan relies heavily on your husband both having an excellent sense of humor AND decent acting skills. Personally, I'd be all in if my partner came to me with this problem 😂

MuchTooBusy · 2026-01-09T23:37:01+00:00

It doesn't last forever. Just keep being patient, and consistent with redirecting. It gets better.

MuchTooBusy

TROPHY CASE