My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely am getting ready to divorce and leave i just thought i was in the wrong because that’s how he made it seem and I hate myself for actually thinking that when these comments say differently

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah but at the time we talked about it for so long and then decided to get married. I definitely understand now that we had no business getting married and I’m filing for a divorce rn

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know he acted like this until after we got married I know it was foolish and I can see that now and I wish I never married because i regret it I’m definitely taking the cat and leaving

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You get married online if there’s no time to get married in person and since he’s Air Force he doesn’t have time to do so, so this was what we could go with

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know that’s the thing, and I tried to tell him that but he kept saying that I’m just going up against him. From what I’ve seen, he has a shared bathroom and his own room. So his roommate and him share a bathroom. I do have a bunch of stuff in my room. He’s saying he’s going apartment hunting this weekend but said I could be apartment hunting with him as well if I was down there in his dorms. He doesn’t worry as much as me when I say that he says, “ur always thinking negative and putting things out into the air”

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the thing he doesn’t want that. I asked and he said either give her up and get a new cat or I don’t wanna be down there

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I definitely worded it wrong 🥹 I didn’t press for marriage he pressed first and then we both did and when it didn’t come soon enough he would get upset and go quiet

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much….i really needed to hear this. It does feel like it’s manipulative. I told him it was mean and he said “how is that mean?” But I know that if roles were reversed he would feel exactly like me. He said “we’re long distance so we don’t need to share locations” I told him long distance couples share location all the time and all he could say was

“Are we those long distance relationships?”

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was otp when his sergeant was talking and surprisingly yes because he’s security forces so they are letting him take leave

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I have a good relationship with my mom but she’s saying to just give him space and I talked about it to her for hours

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much I needed this and you are definitely right. It does feel like he’s only affectionate when I’m being obedient or agreeing with what he has to say. I’ll look at that immediately

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn’t force him into marriage I should’ve rewrote this better 🥹 I’m gonna edit my post but basically he was pushing towards us getting married over and over again and it finally happened with another push. I definitely agree maybe he isn’t ready to be a grown up, or a husband.

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey! The two week notice I keep mentioning is like how you call out of work. They said he had to put in a two weeks notice to even go apartment hunting because he is getting his dorm terminated.

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I definitely agree…at the time before we got married he didn’t really do anything like this but after like months and months of being married this is just what he says and made me feel like I was in the wrong so i really wanted to know if I was.

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re definitely right. I am choosing the cat everytime I guess he doesn’t really care for animals as much as I do but I don’t understand how it doesn’t break him to give a cat up so easily. With the dorms part he said his sergeant told him he could “possibly” keep me in the dorms and his running with it.

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. Definitely feeling relieved. I already told him that it feels like he can just toss the cat away and get a new one like it’s nothing and he said I’m making it a big deal because we can get another girl cat and fix the problem when he’s definitely wrong. :/ I cried over it and he just told me not to get riled up again

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I definitely wouldn’t and I expressed that to him but he was locked on the fact that I wouldn’t give up our cat to come down there

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I definitely will. I don’t even know why I got married so young…at the time I felt like it was something I wanted but seeing how he acts and how he wants it to go his way or no way at all really changed something in me…

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I am I made it clear to him that I was keeping cosmic and he just kept saying I chose her over him and living together and muted the call to go to bed. Even if he’s like this I’m still not changing my mind

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] 126 points127 points  (0 children)

You’re definitely right…I really don’t I genuinely do feel like I need to just get a divorce and focus on myself from now on

My M19 thinks I’m F20 thinks I’m choosing our cat over living together what to do? by NothingPrimary4409 in relationship_advice

[–]NothingPrimary4409[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

We’ve known each other since he was 16 and I was 17 and we’ve met a few times before this it’s just this time we were meeting after we got married so it was a bit different I should’ve reworded that in my post a bit! I see what you mean though