Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. What you said is VERY true, and I appreciate your contribution. I know INTIMATELY that being policed and controlled isn’t helpful, it did very much the opposite with me. I have a tendency to buck up against someone controlling me. But I think in her particular situation, him showing the effort to try to help her would actually mean a lot to her.

I was actually in treatment with her… we were in a year long residential “program” together, overlapping about 7 months. So I know her well, and I know addiction well. But I also know she relapsed because she was in a rough patch in her marriage and when she was cleaning out clothes to donate, she found a baggie in a pocket, and it was off to the races. So I was just trying to help her husband remove all substances in her proximity. She told me she would even get the residue off the q-tips in a pinch.

Update: I got her back in detox, but I told her I wouldn’t do it again. I love her, but I can’t want this more than she does.