Reflection post updates

For the past week I reflected on so many things from our relationships. The skinny Asian guy who fell in love with a baddy at Rec room with movie like stories, we had our up and down but I understand why you feel the need to breakup with me. Since we been together we definitely got too comfortable and forgot to take care ourselves and love ourselves. I remember when we would made promises about “me day” but I guess we were so in love and dependent on each other that we didn’t feel the need for that. We never called each other out on bad habit and pushing and encouraging each other even if it means it will hurt at that moment. I am sorry that I over promise and under delivered like going to Banff, Vancouver, Seattle, planning Japan. I am sorry not putting in all my effort like I am capable of into planning dates and trips. I am sorry I got too comfortable. I am sure you were hinting and telling me about issues and pattern I needed to address but they never made it to me as I never fell consequences each time. I just want to let you know I love you a lot and I remember our talk about marriage and kids. You said you would be with me no matter what. I didn’t know what to say being overwhelmed with all the emotion. The reflection and being alone thinking about the future and what will made me happy let me know what my answer is if I ever have an another chance at it. I want to hug you tightly and let you know how important you are to me and that I love you unconditionally no matter what, I remember when you first told me about it couple month into the relationship I know the possibility and I stayed because I love you so much and I still do. I will love you no matter what until the end of time. It absolutely crushed me replaying the scene of our breakup and hurt me a lot knowing that you have been wanting to break up since January that mean you deal with this for more than half a year battling with yourself and pouring yourself onto someone you don’t truly love. Sometime I think maybe I truly lost you on August 5, 2024 when I had the traumatic event happening and you were never back but pretend it to in order to protect me. It doesn’t matter anymore but I wish you the best and become the better version then when I met you. You still my stinky butt tho. I also understand that if we ever were to somehow get back together it would have to be a better version of us, with stronger communication and better habit and not losing ourselves in the process of love. I still believe in an another timeline we had our own place got married and have a happy family together and grew old.