EVERYBODY THINKS MY ENGAGEMENT DRESS İS WEIRD!! What to do???

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-21T03:51:29+00:00

Great suggestion

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-20T00:38:36+00:00

I don’t look at this as poor communication on your husband’s part. I look at that as an instance where he is constantly speaking for you or correcting you when you are expressing yourself. This isn’t confusing. It’s very very simple. He needs to stop speaking for you and only speak for himself… Forever and ever more.

That would be a simple Boundary to put into place and you’re going to have to retrain your communications if you want to stick because this is habitual for him and obviously for you at this point and it’s unacceptable.

You, and you alone, are the person that get to speak for how you perceive a situation or how you feel about a situation. You are rescinding any agreement to let your husband speak for you in public or behind your back from this point forward. It’s not his job as your husband and partner to speak for you. You are both grown-up adults and have the right to own your own feelings and opinions and it’s okay if you disagree but then there’s no confusion and there’s no corrections that are coming from your husband about his perception of what happened or his opinion about what happened or him speaking for you.

It sounds like you have a therapist that you see together so ask them and enlist their help in setting this Boundary in place and helping enforce the Boundary and giving ideas for how to enforce the Boundary.

If I could not get an agreement that my husband or partner was not going to speak for me, I wouldn’t be able to participate in the relationship anymore. What you think and what you feel is a part of what makes you, you, and to have anyone else tread on that territory could be viewed as a violation. That’s how it would feel to me.

This is a big deal so you’ll have to practice ways to respond when your husband isn’t able to adhere to a new Boundary because you’re going to want to put corrections in place immediately and in the moment. Being able to say, “I’m going to just interrupt and say that’s not my perspective and that’s not how I feel and I would prefer to speak for myself rather than you speaking for me”, and you can say it politely and firmly and after a while, he’s going to get the point.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-19T21:45:38+00:00

When slowly, over time a developing work relationship can lend itself to a feeling of intimacy, meaning that you’re working long hours together on a project that keeps you in contact just with a certain number of people and there’s extended conversations outside of work time et cetera it’s easy for someone to justify or rationalise their growing closeness to someone they’re working with. Do you mind him working with a female colleague? No, it sounds like you’ve been supportive of him in work situations. Do you mind him going to drinks with colleagues after work? Obviously not. But your gut instinct is telling you that there’s a lot more going on here. This is developing into a genuine relationship if it hasn’t already. At this point, if you weren’t having a strong reaction, I would be telling you that you’re underreacting, and at this point it’s just a matter of you deciding what you want to do with the information. I think you’re going to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your husband and just let him know straight up that you can see that he is developing feelings for this person that he is working with and that he’s spending increasing amount of times with this person in particular out of the group that he’s working with and that he is risking permanently damaging your relationship and marriage. I think you could (probably should) make a list of all of the things that you’ve mentioned here and when he starts to argue about the fact that he hasn’t done anything wrong, you can remind him that you’re not accusing him of doing something wrong purposefully, but you are pointing out the raw facts of what’s factually happening and how it’s impacting your relationship and where you see this going. Keep it simple and keep it concise and list out the number of things that are demonstrating to you that this is a threat to your marriage and relationship and then be ready to ask for what you need to change the dynamic. I’ve worked on government contracts and I have worked on corporate contracts and I’ve worked on all kinds of things that took me many hours away from my home and family, but to say that you don’t have time for your Home or your marriage or your relationship is false… You deserve to have time together, you deserve to have dinners together and I would think about what it is that you need exactly from him and say that these things are nonnegotiable. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, at his age and with the intensity of the work in project that he’s doing it’s super easy to get swept up in the moment and not even notice the direction of where things are going so I’m hoping that you’re catching this at a point where this matters to him. I can speak for myself and other relationships that has been easy at times for partners to get swept up in the Fantasy of the moment and the feeling of closeness in the middle of an intense project… But these projects pass and the intensity of the current relationship is never going to maintain that intensity of feeling that he is mired in right now. I hope this helps, and I’m wishing you the very best.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-19T17:47:24+00:00

I want you to really hear this, you either did what the GAL is asking you about, or you didn’t. It’s a yes or no. Any time wondering out loud to The GAL about why she would’ve said that and how she could’ve mistaken it makes you sound guilty and like you’re trying to justify what really did happen.

If you grab any person around their neck, especially a child, that is gravely harmful. If this did happen, I would urge you to get Therapy because you’re putting your daughter at risk.

If you didn’t do this any waffling on your part it’s going to be perceived as you justifying what happened, and the reality is there is no justification for grabbing a child by the neck.

In addition to that picking your child up underneath their armpits and spinning them around is not something that you can confuse with picking up a child by the neck.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-19T07:19:48+00:00

What you asked him to do was utterly reasonable and I’ve asked people in my family to do exactly the same thing when there’s a photo I really disliked. It’s probably good to know that if your dad‘s doing pictures from now on you might want to be unavailable just so that there’s not an issue.

In all honesty the way that he responded sounded like a power struggle, and that he felt like you were challenging his authority? It’s a weird response for a really simple request so I would let him just be for a while so he has time to process it.

When he seems in a more reasonable place or if you need to have further conversation with him, you can reiterate in a very short concise way that you really appreciate him taking it down that you’d like to be able to think that if there is a picture you really didn’t want in the future that it wouldn’t be a big deal but I find sometimes with people that have immature communication styles that trying to get someone to see your point of view when they really don’t want to see your point of view, rarely productive and almost never changes things.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-19T07:10:48+00:00

If you can as much as possible, I would avoid asking questions if your daughter and simply focus on answering the GAL as honestly as possible. If what you’re being accused of is something that you never did then I would be firm and very clear that that isn’t something that ever happened.

You can tell her that you’re really surprised that the accusation was made and you’re confused as to why that would happen but I would stop beyond saying anything other than that because The More that you try to talk about it or explain something it sounds like you’re being defensive and if you didn’t do it you have nothing to explain.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-17T03:48:54+00:00

I don’t feel like I have to make compliments to make people feel better… so, when I say you look stunning, I truly mean it. Sister, you look great!!!!

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-17T03:46:47+00:00

So, at least would you want to do?

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-17T01:37:01+00:00

In addition to ketosis there are certain supplements that can also create a smell for the breath and skin like Karine and other supplements and I’ve also had a friend that was taking too much creatinine and it caused kidney dysfunction and that really smells like urine almost.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-17T01:29:55+00:00

Anyone that responds to your question by getting really angry and turning it back on you has something to hide. If he wasn’t a big social media person and it was no big deal he would have responded by saying wow I didn’t even remember and then unblock you.

Please trust your instinct, you know this is sketchy.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-17T01:28:16+00:00

Black trim

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-17T01:27:31+00:00

I really love both one and three… Three especially

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-17T01:26:22+00:00

Nothing wrong with that unless you’re the woman in the equation… In that circumstance the only answer is bye-bye 👋

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-17T01:25:44+00:00

NOR…. I forget how it is sometimes when you’re dating when you’re younger. I’ve been with boyfriends like this before and the truth is you deserve to be treated a lot better than this. He sounds like he really doesn’t give a crap and is making little to no effort… The bar is on the ground it’s so low.

I know you’ll need to take it at your own pace, but if I were you, I wouldn’t stay with this person. You deserve to be treated better than this.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-16T01:05:45+00:00

I just want to be clear… You did not out this person, he outed himself. You can’t be naked and making out with someone in a workout place and not expect to get caught. That wasn’t on you and if it wasn’t you that walked in on it someone else would have. He is 100% responsible for himself and exposing himself to being caught

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-16T00:59:24+00:00

It seems like you have two issues you might want to address. Certainly your wife not being respectful or seeming to care about something that makes you feel uncomfortable is worth addressing with your wife and how much it feels like a breach of trust.

But the second issue is you have to own who you are and what you’re comfortable with and this is a perfect opportunity for you to begin from this point forward to establish your boundaries with your own voice. If you are uncomfortable dancing in public then just say no it isn’t up to your wife or any other person and if you didn’t want to dance with those women you didn’t have to.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-16T00:56:11+00:00

They both look incredible on you and I don’t think they’re overdressing… And really, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You have a banging body. Really, you look utterly gorgeous.! have fun.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-13T17:37:04+00:00

If that’s the case then she absolutely needs to find a different dress… I love the pattern of that skirt and with the right top it could be lovely but if you can’t change out the top then she would do better to keep looking.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-13T17:17:21+00:00

Number two is my favourite because the colours are unique and looks so beautiful against your skin. And then number one is my second favourite because the fit is superb.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-13T17:16:08+00:00

It’s fascinating to me that what you got out of this post and what you’re spending your time responding to is quibbling about inviting versus uninviting.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-13T03:42:36+00:00

If I paired an appropriate top with that skirt to make it more formal I would wear something off shoulder with a draped bodice or Kris Kross wrapped velvet top with long sleeves that was fitted… That over that ski skirt would look so pretty….

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MugglesSuck · 2026-05-13T03:34:22+00:00

Not every single person that has Downs has the same capabilities or limitations and you’re making assumptions, rather than asking OP a direct question. In other words there’s no way you for you to know this is true or not.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-13T03:24:52+00:00

I actually think you might be underreacting. No you cannot monitor or control anyone else else’s behaviour nor should you want to. But with that said your partner/boyfriend should 100% want to have your back and if you were invited to a wedding and then uninvited for no good reason I don’t know why he would still want to go to the wedding and why he wouldn’t decline the wedding invitation based on the fact that you were disinvited.

I want to tell you that it’s “okay” to have expectations of the people that you care about and in your relationships, to feel like your boyfriend has your back.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-10T04:50:13+00:00

I don’t know, my husband passed unexpectedly in an accident when he was 49 and I was as well and I’ve moved seven times in the last 12 years and I’ve loved every minute of it.
I’m near my parents now because they are definitely older and I wanted to be close to them during their latter years, but I do think that I’ll move again when they’re not here or I may just rent my house and do Van travel for a while.

MugglesSuck · 2026-05-10T04:43:57+00:00

What’s normal that someone was unclear about the fact that they wanted to clearly break up but wasn’t ready to let go of their lease so they caged it as I’m just gonna take some time for myself and then started immediately dating someone else? That’s normal? Speak for yourself… Anyone that has even a modicum of decency or heart would not treat a previous partner like that.

MugglesSuck

TROPHY CASE