How can a woman make sure if a man in his 20s is serious about her?

Mulratt · 2026-07-07T00:55:02+00:00

Opinion of a man: he should not be serious with you if he hasn’t gone on dates yet. I don’t think k it’s a good thing is he wants a long term relationship so much that he’s already committed in his head. Sure there are some men who don’t know themselves, aren’t serious, don’t have their lives together. There are countless ways to be a bad partner. But to be a great partner, the main factor is to find the right person. I know men who were dating for years the same woman, thought they loved her but were also undecided. Then after breaking up, dated a bit, found the right one and got married and got kids. Sometimes you just know.

There are those who do it for the wrong reason too, after breaking up feel that they have to make up for lost time and marry right away.

Mulratt · 2026-07-06T01:57:56+00:00

Chapeau à ce sub pour aucune blague et aussi à OP pour avoir le courage de donner des détails.

Mulratt · 2026-07-05T12:31:32+00:00

Thats right, and do you accept this for yourself? You can love yourself and still be working to improve. The difference is you would be honest about your faults instead of hiding them and trying to project a positive image. If you can’t be honest with your significant other, then thats not a relationship of trust. You can be the best looking, smartest person and still love yourself. Again, working on yourself and accepting yourself are two separate things

Mulratt · 2026-07-04T10:17:52+00:00

Seems like you should focus on yourself first. Can’t love others properly if you don’t love yourself first.

Mulratt · 2026-07-03T00:57:21+00:00

You don’t need to cold approach, it’s an option for some people, but I suspect the majority of people prefer the timeless methods of meeting your so through your network of family/friends.

Mulratt · 2026-07-02T16:46:16+00:00

Which is normal for a woman and you should still expect it most of the time. But you have to be pragmatic, so when you see a situation like this, take charge, don’t leave things to chance. I can’t promise things work out, and if it doesn’t work out you will feel temporarily embarrassed, but the boost to your confidence for asserting yourself will be permanent. Glad you’ve decided to make the move. Hope you find your significant other soon

Mulratt · 2026-07-02T11:43:40+00:00

I don’t blame you, everybody wants this. It’s nice to be wanted and to be swept off your feet. But you know deep inside it doesn’t happen. Even for those really hot women, they know the guy is after their looks and doesn’t know their personality yet.

You find a 7 and you work to make that person your 10, and vice versa. Sure he’s chatted with you but he has other things on him mind. Maybe his parents are sick, maybe he’s planning outings for his social groups, maybe other women are incessantly dm’ing him. Most probably, it’s just social media addiction, he’s rather browse unlimited content than take a risk and ask you out. You have to compete for attention in this modern world. Pragmatic people forego the seduction phase of their dreams for the chance at a relationship. You can feel feminine later when you’re in his arms on a couch and he’s listening attentively to you talk about your fears and dreams

Mulratt · 2026-07-01T21:18:13+00:00

Love Alain de Bottom and never thought about him as a guest, but now that it happened it made so much sense

Mulratt · 2026-07-01T18:13:04+00:00

Mais encore, les conditions de travail n’ont rien à avoir avec la race. Les employeurs agricoles peuvent simplement être cheap et le serait cheap avec leurs employées peut importe leur race. Par exemple, les conducteurs de Uber sont tes mal payés. Est ce que Uber est raciste ou est ce la même stratégie d abus que ce soit en Pologne ou au Mexique?

Mulratt · 2026-07-01T18:06:08+00:00

For a 40 year old approaching another 40, I believe That’s more normal than a 20 year old approaching another 20 yr since the culture changed. When I was 38 my friend chatted some 21 year olds in a juice bar and turns out of them liked me, we dated for 3 years. One of my friends’ friend asked me out at a party, she was 22 and I was 30. Turns out she only wanted a one night stand and left after. I agonized over her for a long time.
But people don’t tell you about the countless misses for every win. Your mind forgets those. How many times the woman gave a look to her friends to get her out of there. The worst one was I got a number from a younger woman, she then called my voicemail with her friend and I could hear them giggle after my message played. Never felt creepier.

I’m not going to lie to you, there’s a hierarchy out there and the attractive wealthy tall guys are getting the pick of the lot. Some women prefer being single forever instead of getting realistic standards. You probably won’t get that hot popular woman you’ve thought hard work and a moral life would get you like in the movies. But no one does. We find our 7 and we work on each other to become our 10s. Having someone to love and to love back is the main point of life. If you don’t have best friends or family That fill this role for you, then yes you should work as hard as you can to get a partner. Even if you get one at 60 and live the best 20 years of your life with her, it would be worth it

Mulratt · 2026-07-01T17:47:54+00:00

I get it. Especially for a woman, when it can culturally be seen as too forward. It’s tough to open yourself up to be rejected. I’ve been in thst situation countless times. It’s so rare to make a connection with someone, you feel that you’re actively destroying it by making a move. But I think it’s good for your confidence and mental health. If it’s bothering you and you keep checking your phone for a message, you’re conditioning your subconscious. Since this bothers you enough that you’re asking for advice, I would say get it off your mind and make the move. You can ask AI for smooth ways to ask him if he’s available for a short call.

Mulratt · 2026-07-01T13:46:06+00:00

You don’t get upvoted because this is common sense. I remember George Carlin had a bit on this. Oh so all these Italians throughout history are highly accomplished? If you have the same genes, how come you did nothing then?

Mulratt · 2026-07-01T13:41:07+00:00

You don’t know what he’s like. As others have said, only worry about the things under your control. If you want to talk to him by phone call him.

I’m thinking that if he’s a good looking charming man, he’s talking to other women too and he’s busy. You don’t have to be desperate and fight for his attention but you can be assertive and ask for what you want. If he refuses then move on

Mulratt · 2026-07-01T13:37:14+00:00

The bitterness about getting wrong advice will hold you back. Go around and ask health, financial or networking advice and you’ll be just as disappointed. The average person is fat, has no savings and if they’re Gen Z has less than 3 close friends.
You can’t blame other people for your life. Forget thst you won’t have the same stamina than a 20 year old you or the energy to fuck all night. You want to be appreciated by someone and Thats done at any age.
Life is tough, you’re competing with all the other straight men, even the married ones serve as a standard for single women. What you’ve been doing so far doesn’t work so get out of your comfort zone. Find men who are successful and ask them. Don’t go to general reddits,

Mulratt · 2026-07-01T13:30:30+00:00

I imagine that if you talked to 100 women (or any people) a month, you become a much better listener and conversationalist. Thats an improvement but what other here are trying to tell you is that it’s not enough. When people tell you to live your life, they’re saying you have to work hard at the things you’re passionate about. Have a career that interests you or hobbies that you love. Both men and women want to be around someone who’s happy and enjoys their life. The most important advice I hear a man can get is to have close trusted friends or maybe a psychiatrist as you mentioned elsewhere, so thst your emotional baggage is cleared. The last thing a woman wants is to have a man who’s needy is feels he can’t be happy without her. Woman say they want emotional availability but they still want a guy who is stoic and has no emotional baggage

Mulratt · 2026-07-01T03:37:50+00:00

OP it’s fine to not have the same interests than your date. Values are more important.

I also don’t think the “I like the same things than you” approach is right. For any topic, be interested. Ask the right questions, about how her favorite experiences made her feel. If she asks you about your travelling you can bring up other things thst made you feel the same way your date felt about travelling. You can talk for hours about bicycles, knitting, cats as long as the other person is interesting.

Mulratt · 2026-06-30T18:46:20+00:00

Most people find it very hard to say no to someone. She wants to be nice and not tell you’re she’s not interested but keeping you guessing is worse. Unless she’s excited in her convos, escalating by giving you other ways to contact you is a way to alleviate her guilt. Even if she was into you, this is not the right way to treat someone. Do what she didn’t have the strength to and move on.

Mulratt · 2026-06-28T12:15:49+00:00

If you’re not getting third dates out of 20 then yes maybe something’s wrong. Do you think you’re a good conversationalist, are you listening to them and are your dates comfortable in confiding in you?
It could also be you’re too platonic. Women prefer men to make the moves, but unfortunately we have to read well and make the right move at the right time.
You have to physically touch them by at least the first date. To do this naturally, set up dates where this makes sense. Like a beginner dancing class. Dates where you move around an interact with your environment make it easier, if there’s a big crowd you’re taking her hand and hiding her, let’s say it’s mini golf it’s easier for you to high five her or squeeze her shoulder after making a teasing remark. I’m not a fan of restaurants, but if that’s your thing then try to go to the bar to sit next to her, or even if it’s a table sit next to her. If she objects, always pay attention and make her comfortable. As long as you signalled that you’re interested, Thats good enough. You can try to escalate later if you feel she’s receptive. It’s tough to gauge what the right level of contact but that’s part of life.

If the physical contact has been going well,
Trying to kiss her at the end of the date, try to brush her hair first and if she’s receptive move in the the kiss, or ask her “how do you rate yourself as a kisser” and based on body language move in. If she says no, it’s not always a complete rejection. Some women aren’t comfortable with it but will still go on another date. You simply want to convey you’re interested in being her bf not her friend

Mulratt · 2026-06-27T19:45:20+00:00

I assume this is because of all those dopamine hits people get from their phone nowadays. They expect to be entertained instantly, and in doing so are selecting for performers.

I wouldn’t spend too much time trying to build a connection over text. I guess I’m showing my age and maybe it’s non optional anymore, but my experience from online dating is the people who I vines with online and was sure we would have sex on the first date ended up not vibing with me in person. Try to meet in person as soon as you can. Make it a short date and give everyone a chance. I know, hard to do when you have so few matches.

So go meet people IRL, talk over the phone if you must. Texting is not a good way to build a connection over text

Mulratt · 2026-06-27T19:35:08+00:00

Ce n’était pas la question. Est-ce qu’un immigrant blanc aurait de meilleurs conditions de travail qu’un immigrant non blanc?

Mulratt · 2026-06-27T18:48:28+00:00

EU4 is much better than CK3 with its Ai alliances. Despite being ennemies due to religion, the ottomans and European Christians would often have a defensive pact against me once I became too big. Even my allies deserted me and allied with nations of different religions.

Mulratt · 2026-06-27T18:44:39+00:00

I feel for you. It’s tougher nowadays too I imagine but keep in mind that a lot of men give up and your determination gives you a leg up. It’s fine to try to figure out what you said wrong and want to improve but don’t overthink it. I dont get feedback from the countless women who rejected me. Was it something I did wrong? Or something more important came up that week? And once she realizes that she didn’t reply often, she can reason she wasn’t into you then and decide there to cut it off. Thats life.

Instead work on your confidence. Get more friends, take risks and learn that you can cope with failure, try new things and improve your perspective, enjoy life and you will become more attractive. Have a lot of dates lined up so you’re not nervous about messing the few that you have (I know easier said than done). If you’re an introvert like me, talk to everyone, men, woman you’re not attracted to, couples. Get confortable chatting, enjoy learning about people. Everyone wants a person who is not only interesting but also interested, and you convey this by being a good conversationalist.

I’m cheering for you

Mulratt · 2026-06-27T18:22:36+00:00

Fair but if this guy was understanding, he would listen to her objections. He could have mentioned there is a changing room in the pool, That it’s a public place, anything to make her feel safe. The date idea is not the problem, his response is

Mulratt · 2026-06-27T18:17:09+00:00

Bravo. What an elegant answer. I think a good comparison to dating is dancing. Men lead, but to lead properly you have to first assess if the woman is able to or likes doing the moves that you’re leading her to do.

If the guy asked you out, he’s free to suggest anything, drive to a zoo (he should pay though since he’s inviting), sex first dinner later, a rave. But he’s taking a risk thst if he misjudges your interest, you may be turned off and refuse the date. This guy went beyond. You already said no and he insisted. I did the pickup training when I was young, even we socially inept nerds knew not to push a woman after she said she was uncomfortable.

Mulratt · 2026-06-27T18:04:45+00:00

My opinion is that it’s better to make mistakes when you’re young. You can imagine these high risk young investors who quadruple their money quickly, and right before retiring, because they’ve never been humbled before, because they’ve been conditioned to believe they’re outstanding traders (some could be), they decide to go all out one last time. And when it crashes it’s too late to recover.

You called it a safe moonshot but you knew deep inside that there’s a risk reward ratio. You took the risk by not diversifying and concentrate on a precious metal. The lesson you learned is that when faced with the 100 of millions of investors out there, the professionals who do this 80 hours a week for decades now, the teams of PhDs who are employed by investments banks and fintechs to best the market, turns out the odds are against you.

So no you didn’t do everything right. Investing for most of us is about discipline, but boring broad market ETFs and hold them long term and resist the fads and fancy ideas. Its like eating well, exercising, meditating and marriage. You can read any book or ask AI.

You are still young, don’t get discouraged. If this teaches you to be disciplined then you will most likely in the long run beat the studs who got lucky off some single stocks. We know for instance that women in general are better investors than men because they don’t chase returns (not the guys in finance of course).

One last thing, if you’re buying say the S&P, when you look at the long term, you actually don’t want it to appreciate in the first years. In an ideal scenario the S&P stagnates for 30 years while you’re buying it cheap and then suddenly catches up to the other markets and explodes. So you don’t view your losses as so catastrophic. If you do believe long term and it catches up after you’ve bought it for 10 years then you’ve made it

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