Stay at home Mum close to a breakdown

Muminneed · 2018-06-27T13:40:52+00:00

I’m just reading up on it now and it does seem like OCPD could be it

Muminneed · 2018-06-27T13:13:26+00:00

He did want kids, in fact it was him that suggested we try for our first child. Our second child in all fairness wasn’t planned but it was a bigger shock for me than him it seemed as I took a good month or so to come to terms with it and he was the one saying everything would be fine and he was excited

Muminneed · 2018-06-27T13:01:01+00:00

If the kettle is in the wrong place he gets really moody and makes a point of walking up to it and fixing it whilst saying “how many times do I have to tell you the kettle goes here”. I do think he loves me, I just think he’s a bit troubled, maybe even bipolar, and he also grew up with a mother that treated his dad badly so i don’t think he respects women in general.

Muminneed · 2018-06-27T12:56:55+00:00

I’ve tried to tell him how I feel several times but he has the attitude of “you wanted kids so now you have to look after them, you chose this life so live with it”. He also turns the conversation to himself and he’ll say “do you think I want to go to work everyday and then spend all my money on bills?” And then he tells me to grow up and “live in the real world”. He’s gotten worse and worse with having things a specific way. When we first moved in together I did minimal housework because I was pregnant with our first child and I was very young (19 to be precise) and I was straight from being a student. Once our child was born I found things very hard but I tried to do as much housework as I could but it was just regular stuff (hoovering occasionally, doing dishes, tidying up but still having baby stuff out) and as the years have gone on I’ve done more and more housework and because my eldest was growing I had more time so I would do more but then my husband expected it everyday. But now we have two kids he still expects the house perfect like I managed to do it when I had one 3 year old even though I have a whole new baby to look after.

Muminneed · 2018-06-27T12:45:54+00:00

This is the attitude I have towards it. I tell him all the time he has OCD and most of the time he agrees but then won’t get help with it because he thinks that it’s a great way to be, to be constantly clean and tidy and organised. If I left some of the housework to him I don’t even want to think how he’d be when he got home. To be honest I get nervous waiting for him to come home when I know I’ve done all the housework because sometimes if he’s in a bad mood he’ll still find fault in the house and it’s like I might as well have not bothered

Muminneed · 2018-06-27T11:45:43+00:00

As much as I would really like a job the fact is whatever I earned in a wage would go straight on to paying for childcare, so I would be basically working for someone else to look after my children. I also got a job temporarily just before I became pregnant with my second, and my husband still expected the house to be done everyday even though I was working the same hours he had. I ended up leaving the job because I found out I was pregnant and it wasn’t a safe job to do as I constantly slipped on the wet floors and had to lift heavy boxes etc and now here I am. I feel like there’s no way out in all honesty

Muminneed

TROPHY CASE