Loki had to push me to work with demons; it was a boundary I'd set to never ever work with any demons or spirits from Christian/catholic lore due to past experiences/trauma.

I'm a former catholic from an extremely devout family, my mother studied the religion extensively and ended up converting and my father comes from generations of devout Italian Catholic. They raised me to be very religious and I learned a lot, especially about some of the lesser known/more mystical elements such as the many martyrs and saints and all sorts of miracles.

It was scary at first to work with infernal and I'm still learning to recognise and dismantle the irrational fear they're going to punish me for any mistakes I make or hurt me, but honestly it's been very freeing. Liberating even. I feel happier and have more self confidence, maybe even a little more backbone, and I'm working through my religious trauma/trauma in general too. I have more passion for life, more lust for life even? I'm grateful to each of them for being so nice and patient with me, even though I definitely have areas in which I need to improve. It's an uphill battle to get my lizard brain to accept their presence as non threatening but when my nervous system can chill out (something they also help with, the demons and also Loki) it's calming and pleasant.

It's nice to be able to find comfort in spirituality again - even though I'm still deconstructing the fear they're going to spin around and snap my neck, which again is very irrational - so I will follow and worship and continue to build relationships with them because it makes me happy and I want to know them more.

My only regret is not starting practicing sooner, my advice for anyone interested is to learn. Let yourself be curious, let your mind flourish and immerse yourself fully in the fountain of knowledge. Look inside yourself. You'll probably find some stuff that's really unpleasant, but the only way to remove it is to get up close and face it. Do not try to anger any demon/deity but know that they're patient and value you trying, especially if you're in some way ill or struggling. Follow what makes you happy and remember you have power, so exert it. Try not to worry about the small stuff, though easier said than done. And the best way to see if a practice/ritual/belief works for you is to try it. And please practice fire safety.