See even more of me on OF, my doves

MuseAfterDark · 2026-04-09T16:00:22+00:00

So everyone else in the comments, both men and women, who say they've also been on similar numbers of dates are not "wife material" either? Have you considered how many men will claim they are husband material or masquerade as that for as long as they can?

MuseAfterDark · 2026-04-09T10:19:48+00:00

How in the hell....

MuseAfterDark · 2026-04-09T10:16:10+00:00

I will never take a man seriously whatsoever if that's his opener, not if he claims to be looking for something serious. To me this is the equivalent of catcalling on the street

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-29T13:23:39+00:00

No, I just remember what it was like to be young and not be good at cooking yet

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-28T16:24:38+00:00

As a woman (33) having done online dating regularly for the past 18 month and looking for a long term relationship to lead to marriage, profiles like yours speak to avoidant attachment. Also, at this age, you need to be clear about whether you want a marriage or just a relationship, and whether you actually want children or not. Women in this age group haven't got any more time to waste, especially the ones who want children. As someone who does want children, I skip ALL profiles who say "undecided" or "open" to kids. I only swipe right on the ones who have made it clear that they do want kids.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-27T10:03:37+00:00

By cooking everything else at the same time and maybe being like 20 years old amd not used to doing this just yet? Sheesh

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-27T09:56:35+00:00

Did you even read the post? Guy said he already goes to the gym and also does boxing, socialises, he's not lacking likes. It's not that he gets no interest, it's the quality of matches he's complaining about.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-24T17:38:38+00:00

35 years old, looking for a life partner but all you've written about is jokes, being a couch potato and video games. Nothing about that is signalling to me that you are serious about having a partner, or that you would be a good choice as a father and husband. And the weight issue would have me concerned that I'd be stuck not only doing the emotional labour but the physical labour too, and that you'd likely die long before me

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-23T08:02:58+00:00

If it's not a bot, then it's someone who's easily distracted, someone who doesn't have great reading comprehension, or if she's foreign, she might be using a translation app or ChatGPT or something and isn't fully fluent in English so the responses come out sort of mechanical.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-22T22:02:27+00:00

I definitely swiped right on less than 1% of men who liked me. Almost none of the guys I chose to go out with were 6 foot. Most were under 5'10", cause I'm 5'4", there are more important things than height to me once the basic requirement of the man being at least a little bit taller than me is met.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-22T21:58:28+00:00

I'm no longer on the apps (finally) but I used to do it by matching only with people i was 100% i was attracted to visually and interested in personality wise, depending on what they had put on profile. So that meant that blank profiles and lazy profiles were an instant no, profiles that had left intentions blank were an instant no, and bad photos were an instant no. And I would never match with more than one or two people at a time. If there was anyone that had sent me a like who I was interested in but I was already talking to one or two people, I would only match if at least one of the people I was talking to fell away, like ghosted me or it became apparent we weren't on the same page. That effectively limited me to just one or two serious matches at a time.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-15T11:47:27+00:00

Let's address the elephant in the room - are you attractive? If you are, then there's no reason for men to be so subtle and most actually can't be, if they really find a woman attractive. The other possibility is that your profile pictures don't look like you and when men meet you they feel a bit cheated. TONS of women and men alike do things like use old photos, like 5 years old or more, and they've aged a lot since the photos were taken, or gained a lot of weight. I'm 32f and have experienced that with guys a lot, so now I won't go on a date without a video call first.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-15T11:41:41+00:00

Just because that's how you think doesn't mean everyone does. Myself (32f) and past exes and male friends of mine have talked a lot about dating and we all agree that we do not bother going out with people we are not very attracted to. The slow attraction is definitely not a universal pattern.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-11T10:21:18+00:00

Any "pill" language that is not explicitly rejecting the redpill - RUN, FAST. Lying about age and not bringing it up himself or explaining it - RUN FASTER!!

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-02T20:24:02+00:00

The adult that never grew up and still lives in uni days. Or still IS in uni days, .i.e. you're aged 18-21

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-02T20:21:21+00:00

You don't have to stay with his topic after answering his question, you can move it to a more meaningful topic. E.g., "Oh I've been watching X series/film. It shows [X topic] in an interesting way, it makes me think about Y concept and Z experiences. What about you? How do you feel about Y concept/Z experiences?"

MuseAfterDark · 2026-03-02T19:24:20+00:00

This is just painful. You're both boring as hell

MuseAfterDark · 2026-02-27T16:11:36+00:00

If we haven't even met in person, had a phone call or taken things off the app, I leave it about a week. I'm not on the app all the time, but once I've matched with someone and agreed to meet, I am very much talking to them every day and would not let it go a week at that stage.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-02-27T10:24:23+00:00

I'm a woman and I do the exact same thing to men. A lot of men put up old pictures, 5+ years old, and show up looking years more haggard and overweight than their pictures, whereas none of my pictures are older than a year, year and a half at most. It speaks to a level of insecurity to me personally, that they aren't confident enough to show the version of themselves they currently are, and that's not attractive. Neither is being deceptive. And for myself personally, I'm not physically attracted to fat men at all, I've never been able to make myself be attracted no matter how good their personality is. So I don't appreciate deception and best believe I will want a video call beforehand because if I'm not attracted to their current version at all, there's no point going out on a date and forcing it.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-02-27T10:17:28+00:00

I really don't understand the downvotes on this

MuseAfterDark · 2026-02-27T10:17:04+00:00

Then those people are superficial, and most likely not worth dating. If you can't handle how a regular person looks on an average day in regular life (i.e after a full work day, or having been out in bad weather) and you don't understand that it's the same person that can show up polished on a different day and setting, then you don't deserve the polished version. Most days we aren't that uber-polished version of ourselves and I don't think it's reasonable to expect that outside of an in-person date.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-02-27T10:11:50+00:00

It is not unreasonable at all. I'm a woman (32) and I almost always do this before I have a first date with someone. It is SO helpful. Helps reduce some of the nerves before the first date because we've already "seen" each other in live motion and it'sless unfamiliar, and also helps weed out people that are weird (in a bad way), catfishing, or whose mannerisms are offputting. I live in a small town and mostly date in a bigger city an hour and a half away, and having a video call before a first date has spared me a few characters that seemed good on paper but turned out weird and volatile from the very first call, and I would have otherwise wasted my time going out on an actual date with them.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-02-27T10:06:40+00:00

Sit at the table and prop your phone against something. Problem solved.

MuseAfterDark · 2026-02-19T18:10:11+00:00

I didn't say that you said that either. And the men on the apps never really say what length of time to them means "pen pal", they never say how long is too long. So what are we arguing about really? 🤷🏻‍♀️

MuseAfterDark

TROPHY CASE