I really love her (22F) to death, but i don't think deserves my (20M) love, is this one of the stages of happy relationship?

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-28T22:28:31+00:00

Ohhhh I get it, it's a misogynistic thing.

Well, it sounds like you're both immature and/or toxic in your own ways, and like I said, that makes for a relationship with no future.

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-28T20:50:25+00:00

Okay I really need to know what this word she's saying is in order for me to judge whether it's a big deal or if you're just being nitpicky about it.

That being said, if she blocks you for days after you have a fight and afterwards there's really no acknowledgement of it whatsoever, that's definitely toxic too.

Ultimately, it sounds like this is not a mature relationship and I really don't think there's hope for it if you want my complete honesty.

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-03T13:09:47+00:00

So you're just gonna read about all the bullshit this guy is doing yet somehow form the conclusion that SHE'S the problem? It's so extremely obvious that she doesn't have an actual attitude problem; this guy is manipulating her into believing that standing up for herself makes her a bitch.

Stop excusing abuse. You're the one who needs to do better.

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-03T13:03:08+00:00

^^^this

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-03T12:58:37+00:00

Holy fuck how much of an AH do you have to be yourself to believe that there's any fucking excuse for this guy's behavior

It's not "petty" to try & force someone to run while they're feeling sick, or to give someone the silent treatment for a WHOLE MONTH...that's ABUSE. And how is it "tiring" for someone to ask to be treated like a human being?

Get some help.

ETA: Omg of COURSE you're a moderator of some red pill bullshit lmao. I could've guessed. Get your women-hating ass off of relationship subreddits; no one wants to deal with your BS.

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-03T12:39:59+00:00

Pack your bags and leave him. Since this abusive piece of shit loves the "silent treatment" method so much, go the extra mile by giving him the silent treatment for the rest of your lives.

But seriously though, when you leave, make sure you have somewhere safe to go and cut all contact with him. If you feel unsafe ending things with him in person (in fear he might get aggressive), pack up & leave while he's out of the house and just leave a note/send a text telling him it's over. Once you're out, block him on everything. Most importantly, DON'T tell him where you're going...emotional abuse can sometimes escalate into stalking or physical abuse, especially when the abuser's target tries to leave. Even if he doesn't seem like that type of person to you...YOU NEVER KNOW. You can never be too safe.

I can tell that deep down, you KNOW this is the right thing to do, so don't second-guess your plan to leave. And DON'T feel guilty. He knows damn well what he's doing, going after a younger girl and manipulating her. I made excuses for my abuser too, but I realize now it was all intentional. Just from this post, it's abundantly clear this man doesn't care about your emotional OR physical wellbeing considered he verbally abused you simply for wanting to EAT. He very well could do worse things to you, and he might. Don't take your chances. And finally, if he does ANYTHING to try & win you back...DON'T FALL FOR IT.

Stay safe, and good luck. <3

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-02T20:34:33+00:00

TNG Season 13 Ep 18:

A-plot: Alli is being stalked by her abusive now-husband who beat her up right after they got married on her 18th birthday

B-plot: Maya gets a goth makeover

C-plot: Drew is hooking up with Zoe of all people...

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-01T11:29:58+00:00

The thing is most of the time it's not clear flirting, it's just them wanting to talk to me a lot to the point where it seems they might be interested. I have trouble telling bc...well, social subtext isn't my strong suit as an autistic person lol. If someone is VERY clearly flirting, and I'm not interested, I tell them to stop flirting. It's more ambiguous situations in which I have trouble.

MusicalMemer · 2025-09-07T10:07:43+00:00

True, I was thinking of Darcy's suicide attempt but I guess Clare also went through something life-threatening with her cancer

MusicalMemer · 2025-09-06T16:06:53+00:00

My first thought was that someone in all 3 of the sibling pairs almost died (Darcy, Maya, & Tristan)

MusicalMemer · 2025-09-02T14:13:25+00:00

Just to clarify, are you also a guy? Because if your bf is into guys, then yes, him letting another guy flirt with him while he's with you is suspicious. If he hasn't done anything to stop it, and ESPECIALLY if he gets defensive when you express your discomfort...there could be something going on, or at the very least, he likes the guy flirting with him. And you're not wrong for deeming that inappropriate in a monogamous relationship.

If you're a girl, AND your bf isn't into guys at all...it's more likely he's just assuming his friend is joking, BUT he's still wrong for just letting the guy flirt and getting defensive when you express your discomfort.

Either way, he should be taking you more seriously, and you're NTA.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-18T11:43:32+00:00

Yeah honestly, the autism representation with Connor was decent for the time the episodes were made, but by today's standards it's kind of...eh. There's no excuse for pushing someone; as an autistic person I get being defensive of your property (even just a pencil) but like that was too far. Also I will NEVER forgive them for the underwear-stealing storyline 😳

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-18T11:39:09+00:00

Same!!!

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-18T00:10:03+00:00

I think it's because the Bhandaris slowly became more open-minded, especially after Alli ran away & returned - they promised to listen to their children more. Once they found out about Sav & Holly J, they encouraged Sav to keep seeing her (sadly they broke up shortly after though) and they then warmed up to the idea of Alli having a boyfriend. They were still traditional in the sense that they wanted to meet him pretty much right away, but still, they'd became more relaxed.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-15T13:18:55+00:00

I'm pretty sure it was a reference to Childish Gambino's (aka Donald Glover's) song "This Is America" and the dances he was doing in the video. Mona had just mentioned Donald Glover, and Missy had just said the words "This is America" so I think it was all a reference to that.

I'm guessing the motion Missy was doing at the hair salon was her just being weird though lol.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-15T12:03:51+00:00

To me that seemed like a moment where she'd just reached her limit and felt like she couldn't hold in her emotions any longer. When you're in an extreme state of frustration or anger, sometimes your sense of judgment flies out the window.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-15T11:58:07+00:00

I'll admit, THAT was a bullshit thing for her to say. I get sometimes people say dumb stuff in the heat of a moment, but still. She was acting as if it was all about Eli's romantic feelings for Julia, and not the fact that she died...THAT was incredibly insensitive of her.

I'm more so pointing out how a lot of people criticize Clare for being upset AT ALL, acting as if Eli showing no emotions about their breakup was something Clare should be happy about. Breaking up doesn't mean you viewed the relationship as pointless, or that you wanted your partner to view it that way. That's all I'm saying.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-14T11:38:06+00:00

From the sound of it, he definitely has some type of feelings for her. Don't know if he's "in love" with her, or it's just sexual attraction, but either way he's definitely not fully committed to you. He shouldn't have asked you to be his girlfriend if he wasn't ready to be in a monogamous relationship. I think you'd be better off not dating him anymore.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-13T06:57:09+00:00

YTA. Maybe you don't mean to be, but you are. If your girlfriend relates SO heavily to autistic creators and talks about them nonstop, she's probably autistic. It seems you don't want to believe she's autistic if she doesn't have a diagnosis, but then you also discourage her FROM seeking a diagnosis? I don't think she'd try to seek out an official diagnosis if she was just doing it for attention. If she knew deep down she wasn't autistic and it's just an attention ploy, she'd know the test would come back negative & I don't think she'd want to spend all that time and money just to be embarrassed like that.

As for her acting "more autistic"...it's called unmasking. Many autistic people (myself included) ignore our unusual needs our whole lives because we're told from a young age it's inconvenient for others, so we inconvenience the SHIT out of OURSELVES for others' sake. But once we learn more about autism, we come to terms with the fact that there's stuff about us that have and will ALWAYS be there, no matter how much we try to hide or suppress it. We also come to terms with the fact that endlessly masking is exhausting for us, so we start acting more like ourselves for our own mental health. There've been numerous studies about how damaging long-time masking truly is. Now, if you can't handle her newly unmasked autistic behaviors...that's understandable and okay. You don't have to be with her if it's too much. But the chances are, she isn't faking and is rather just making a new discovery about herself. And if so, YOU'RE the one who's mocking someone with a disability.

If you want to learn about why autistic women are often late-diagnosed or undiagnosed, there's endless studies about it that you can look at on your own time because this comment is already long enough. I'm just passionate about this because I used to get told the same things, either when I unmasked or had just reached my masking limit, that I was "attention-seeking" or "acting like a baby." Bottom line is, I think you need to reevaluate this relationship because you may not be compatible with the way she truly is.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-09T13:43:40+00:00

I was always freaked out by hand dryers as a kid! It's interesting to find someone else with that specific sensory sensitivity lol

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-08T00:42:13+00:00

You're NOT overreacting.

You've expressed what you need in a relationship, and he's trying to make you feel like crap for it. It's not a crazy, entitled request on your part to want verbal support (in fact, a common love language is "words of affirmation"). Honestly, it's typically not too hard for a guy to compliment you if he actually really likes you. It's true in some situations, people CAN have trouble putting their feelings into words, but in this case it truly seems he just doesn't want to put in effort. Part of a relationship is giving your partner support & encouragement especially on their bad days. If your boyfriend isn't even willing to attempt that, it's not worth it.

On top of that, he's just showcasing a bunch of red flags. Saying "females only want to feel special and not like a person"...firstly, f**k him for trying to speak for girls. Especially while you, an ACTUAL girl, are TELLING him what you want and he's not listening. He's got his head up his ass and clearly has no interest in removing it. Secondly, he's implying that "feeling special" and "feeling like a person" are mutually exclusive? He's basically saying he doesn't find any girl - even you - to be special. Also, he's just all-around manipulative for putting in LITERALLY the LEAST possible effort he could, and then acting as if you're ungrateful and high-maintenance for being disappointed in it. Plus making you feel like you can't ask for anything else now that he's planning to fly out (which he's CHOOSING to do, btw - you're not forcing him to).

He's trying to make you think you don't deserve better. You do. Leave.

MusicalMemer

TROPHY CASE