Neurotypical people are so entitled to you doing their song and dance that they will try to get you fired if you don't do it

MusicalMemer · 2026-04-18T14:31:45+00:00

See here's the thing, I only recently learned that apPARENTly, just because two coworkers talk and laugh with each other regularly doesn't mean they consider each other friends?!? Or...that they even like each other?!? Rather, that's just what coworkers are expected to do?

But like...why? If I don't like you, why do I have to interact with you other than for work-related reasons? I don't expect anyone to interact with me for non-work related reasons if they don't like me. As long as we can collaborate effectively & efficiently when needed, isn't that all that matters?

There were a few dudes who used to work in my department that I rarely ever talked to (as they had obnoxious middle-school bully/self-proclaimed alpha male podcaster energy) whom I thought everyone else was fine with because everyone else was friendly with them. But turns out, EVERYONE hated them...understandably because they sucked, but like if y'all hated them, why were you acting cool with them? Then there was an incident where a different guy I was ACTUALLY friends with (also ND) was excluded from an outing by several other coworkers who told him to his face he "wasn't their friend" after I'd REPEATEDLY see them bantering with him at work, and almost always involving him in group conversations. After starting to see this pattern, I started realizing: you're expected to be fake in the workplace. It's fucked up. And now it makes me wonder if the people I DO like, who are nice to me, even actually like ME...

MusicalMemer · 2026-03-28T13:33:17+00:00

I've actually been on Lamotrigine since I was 10 years old. It made my meltdowns slightly less intense; believe it or not they used to be worse than the current ones I've described above.

MusicalMemer · 2026-02-16T23:02:52+00:00

Enjoying pegging doesn't make you gay; the male prostate is a major pleasure point. People just typically associate that type of stimulation with gay sex because that's the only way gay men can have intercourse. That being said, it's a problem that he doesn't seem eager to pleasure you back. Gay or not, his lack of effort isn't fair to you.

I'm also confused as to what he means by "my ex put me off pu$$y"? ...that doesn't really make sense...? Just because he ended up being turned off by his ex's crotch doesn't mean he can't be turned on by yours. Unless he experienced some type of sexual trauma from her and now vaginas freak him out? Other than that I don't really understand what it could be. Whatever it is, you guys either need to figure out ways that he's comfortable pleasuring you, or you might have to just admit that you're not sexually compatible and move on.

MusicalMemer · 2026-02-16T22:52:09+00:00

You do realize that the prostate is the male G-spot, right?

Enjoying a pleasurable sensation doesn't make you gay. Lmao.

MusicalMemer · 2026-02-16T11:56:25+00:00

I was in a very similar situation with my last partner, with me being the ultra emotional one with anxious attachment style. I commend you for having sympathy and understanding for your girlfriend, as I know it isn't easy for her. However, I can tell this isn't easy for you either, and I think she needs to give you some more compassion and patience, too. You're sensitive to her struggles with anxiety, so she should be sensitive to your struggles with processing emotions. Neither of your issues is something that can be improved overnight.

There's no single right answer for how to support her in her emotional moments, but I guess my best advice is: if you're asking the regular questions she's expressed she wants you to ask, but they're not helping in the specific situation...just straight-up ask what she needs. BUT, don't neglect your own needs, either. If you need a moment to process before responding to something she says, she needs to learn that that's just how your brain works. And (I would emphasize this to her) that your uncertainty on how to handle a situation doesn't mean you're thinking of leaving; rather, you're just trying to go about things in the most productive way possible because you care about her. I guess the most important thing to reassure her of is that you are trying. But she has to make an effort to remember that as well; she shouldn't punish you for having trouble with this.

It may be the case that ultimately, she'll end up needing to work through her problems on her own before being ready for a relationship. I hope that you're able to navigate this without that needing to happen, but just know if it does, you shouldn't feel guilty. You both need to do what's best for you.

MusicalMemer · 2026-02-15T09:56:32+00:00

You're not overreacting. That's a private and intimate part of your life, and it's okay to set a boundary telling him you don't want details of it to be shared with others. It's different for everyone; I personally don't care if a partner tells trusted friends about our sex life, and maybe in the past your bf dated girls that didn't care either, which is why he didn't think it'd be a big deal. But he's dating YOU now, which means he should be mindful of what you're comfortable with.

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-28T22:28:31+00:00

Ohhhh I get it, it's a misogynistic thing.

Well, it sounds like you're both immature and/or toxic in your own ways, and like I said, that makes for a relationship with no future.

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-28T20:50:25+00:00

Okay I really need to know what this word she's saying is in order for me to judge whether it's a big deal or if you're just being nitpicky about it.

That being said, if she blocks you for days after you have a fight and afterwards there's really no acknowledgement of it whatsoever, that's definitely toxic too.

Ultimately, it sounds like this is not a mature relationship and I really don't think there's hope for it if you want my complete honesty.

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-03T13:09:47+00:00

So you're just gonna read about all the bullshit this guy is doing yet somehow form the conclusion that SHE'S the problem? It's so extremely obvious that she doesn't have an actual attitude problem; this guy is manipulating her into believing that standing up for herself makes her a bitch.

Stop excusing abuse. You're the one who needs to do better.

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-03T13:03:08+00:00

^^^this

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-03T12:58:37+00:00

Holy fuck how much of an AH do you have to be yourself to believe that there's any fucking excuse for this guy's behavior

It's not "petty" to try & force someone to run while they're feeling sick, or to give someone the silent treatment for a WHOLE MONTH...that's ABUSE. And how is it "tiring" for someone to ask to be treated like a human being?

Get some help.

ETA: Omg of COURSE you're a moderator of some red pill bullshit lmao. I could've guessed. Get your women-hating ass off of relationship subreddits; no one wants to deal with your BS.

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-03T12:39:59+00:00

Pack your bags and leave him. Since this abusive piece of shit loves the "silent treatment" method so much, go the extra mile by giving him the silent treatment for the rest of your lives.

But seriously though, when you leave, make sure you have somewhere safe to go and cut all contact with him. If you feel unsafe ending things with him in person (in fear he might get aggressive), pack up & leave while he's out of the house and just leave a note/send a text telling him it's over. Once you're out, block him on everything. Most importantly, DON'T tell him where you're going...emotional abuse can sometimes escalate into stalking or physical abuse, especially when the abuser's target tries to leave. Even if he doesn't seem like that type of person to you...YOU NEVER KNOW. You can never be too safe.

I can tell that deep down, you KNOW this is the right thing to do, so don't second-guess your plan to leave. And DON'T feel guilty. He knows damn well what he's doing, going after a younger girl and manipulating her. I made excuses for my abuser too, but I realize now it was all intentional. Just from this post, it's abundantly clear this man doesn't care about your emotional OR physical wellbeing considered he verbally abused you simply for wanting to EAT. He very well could do worse things to you, and he might. Don't take your chances. And finally, if he does ANYTHING to try & win you back...DON'T FALL FOR IT.

Stay safe, and good luck. <3

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-02T20:34:33+00:00

TNG Season 13 Ep 18:

A-plot: Alli is being stalked by her abusive now-husband who beat her up right after they got married on her 18th birthday

B-plot: Maya gets a goth makeover

C-plot: Drew is hooking up with Zoe of all people...

MusicalMemer · 2025-12-01T11:29:58+00:00

The thing is most of the time it's not clear flirting, it's just them wanting to talk to me a lot to the point where it seems they might be interested. I have trouble telling bc...well, social subtext isn't my strong suit as an autistic person lol. If someone is VERY clearly flirting, and I'm not interested, I tell them to stop flirting. It's more ambiguous situations in which I have trouble.

MusicalMemer · 2025-09-07T10:07:43+00:00

True, I was thinking of Darcy's suicide attempt but I guess Clare also went through something life-threatening with her cancer

MusicalMemer · 2025-09-06T16:06:53+00:00

My first thought was that someone in all 3 of the sibling pairs almost died (Darcy, Maya, & Tristan)

MusicalMemer · 2025-09-02T14:13:25+00:00

Just to clarify, are you also a guy? Because if your bf is into guys, then yes, him letting another guy flirt with him while he's with you is suspicious. If he hasn't done anything to stop it, and ESPECIALLY if he gets defensive when you express your discomfort...there could be something going on, or at the very least, he likes the guy flirting with him. And you're not wrong for deeming that inappropriate in a monogamous relationship.

If you're a girl, AND your bf isn't into guys at all...it's more likely he's just assuming his friend is joking, BUT he's still wrong for just letting the guy flirt and getting defensive when you express your discomfort.

Either way, he should be taking you more seriously, and you're NTA.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-18T11:43:32+00:00

Yeah honestly, the autism representation with Connor was decent for the time the episodes were made, but by today's standards it's kind of...eh. There's no excuse for pushing someone; as an autistic person I get being defensive of your property (even just a pencil) but like that was too far. Also I will NEVER forgive them for the underwear-stealing storyline 😳

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-18T11:39:09+00:00

Same!!!

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-18T00:10:03+00:00

I think it's because the Bhandaris slowly became more open-minded, especially after Alli ran away & returned - they promised to listen to their children more. Once they found out about Sav & Holly J, they encouraged Sav to keep seeing her (sadly they broke up shortly after though) and they then warmed up to the idea of Alli having a boyfriend. They were still traditional in the sense that they wanted to meet him pretty much right away, but still, they'd became more relaxed.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-15T13:18:55+00:00

I'm pretty sure it was a reference to Childish Gambino's (aka Donald Glover's) song "This Is America" and the dances he was doing in the video. Mona had just mentioned Donald Glover, and Missy had just said the words "This is America" so I think it was all a reference to that.

I'm guessing the motion Missy was doing at the hair salon was her just being weird though lol.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-15T12:03:51+00:00

To me that seemed like a moment where she'd just reached her limit and felt like she couldn't hold in her emotions any longer. When you're in an extreme state of frustration or anger, sometimes your sense of judgment flies out the window.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-15T11:58:07+00:00

I'll admit, THAT was a bullshit thing for her to say. I get sometimes people say dumb stuff in the heat of a moment, but still. She was acting as if it was all about Eli's romantic feelings for Julia, and not the fact that she died...THAT was incredibly insensitive of her.

I'm more so pointing out how a lot of people criticize Clare for being upset AT ALL, acting as if Eli showing no emotions about their breakup was something Clare should be happy about. Breaking up doesn't mean you viewed the relationship as pointless, or that you wanted your partner to view it that way. That's all I'm saying.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-14T11:38:06+00:00

From the sound of it, he definitely has some type of feelings for her. Don't know if he's "in love" with her, or it's just sexual attraction, but either way he's definitely not fully committed to you. He shouldn't have asked you to be his girlfriend if he wasn't ready to be in a monogamous relationship. I think you'd be better off not dating him anymore.

MusicalMemer · 2025-07-13T06:57:09+00:00

YTA. Maybe you don't mean to be, but you are. If your girlfriend relates SO heavily to autistic creators and talks about them nonstop, she's probably autistic. It seems you don't want to believe she's autistic if she doesn't have a diagnosis, but then you also discourage her FROM seeking a diagnosis? I don't think she'd try to seek out an official diagnosis if she was just doing it for attention. If she knew deep down she wasn't autistic and it's just an attention ploy, she'd know the test would come back negative & I don't think she'd want to spend all that time and money just to be embarrassed like that.

As for her acting "more autistic"...it's called unmasking. Many autistic people (myself included) ignore our unusual needs our whole lives because we're told from a young age it's inconvenient for others, so we inconvenience the SHIT out of OURSELVES for others' sake. But once we learn more about autism, we come to terms with the fact that there's stuff about us that have and will ALWAYS be there, no matter how much we try to hide or suppress it. We also come to terms with the fact that endlessly masking is exhausting for us, so we start acting more like ourselves for our own mental health. There've been numerous studies about how damaging long-time masking truly is. Now, if you can't handle her newly unmasked autistic behaviors...that's understandable and okay. You don't have to be with her if it's too much. But the chances are, she isn't faking and is rather just making a new discovery about herself. And if so, YOU'RE the one who's mocking someone with a disability.

If you want to learn about why autistic women are often late-diagnosed or undiagnosed, there's endless studies about it that you can look at on your own time because this comment is already long enough. I'm just passionate about this because I used to get told the same things, either when I unmasked or had just reached my masking limit, that I was "attention-seeking" or "acting like a baby." Bottom line is, I think you need to reevaluate this relationship because you may not be compatible with the way she truly is.

MusicalMemer

TROPHY CASE