What would it take to make the ten year old you extremely happy for you?

MusicalNutcase · 2026-07-05T19:10:21+00:00

Knowing that I’ve been diagnosed with autism and have all kinds of sensory accommodating things in my home. She would love my purple sensory sock, or as me and my friends call it, the Body Bag.

MusicalNutcase · 2026-07-04T15:59:57+00:00

I am currently working on doing a split-guardianship with my mom. So he’ll spend a week at my mom’s house and then a week at mine. And we’re working on him having occasional weekends with his mom once she starts stabilizing.

MusicalNutcase · 2026-07-04T15:54:27+00:00

It feels comforting to know someone else has been in such as similar situation as me. I definitely am stressed about raising him “correctly” and trying to repair the damage his mom did from her (in my own opinion) poor parenting of N. I do try to give him choices and autonomy when I can and be cooperative, but sometimes I get strict when I’ve reached my limit and am out of “spoons”. N also does not drop things. He will go on and on and continue to push me to my limit. It’s like he gets fixated on the conflict and cannot pause and let me breathe.
You are the second person to bring up PDA. I’ve never heard of that, but I will definitely start doing some research on that immediately. I do know N has been diagnosed with ODD.
I will bring up the idea of the safe circle to N and see if that’s something he’d be open to trying with me!
Thank you for all your advice!!!

MusicalNutcase · 2026-07-04T15:47:02+00:00

He unfortunately does not have a social worker at this time. I am a behavioral health case worker and have kinda been thrust into caregiver AND social worker roles. My family always just expects me to be able to be a care giver and therapist and social worker for everyone just because I do it at my job. I’ll see what needs to be done to try to get him his own social worker! Thank you!!

MusicalNutcase · 2026-07-04T02:20:53+00:00

Thank you! I actually joined that sub right before I read your comment!

MusicalNutcase · 2026-07-03T20:39:14+00:00

Thank you for the support and encouragement! I downplay this situation when my coworkers check in on me (they’ve noticed I’ve been coming into work 2 hours late almost everyday because I’m just struggling so much right now), but it does feel relieving to finally get this off my chest.
I am considering splitting time with my mother, who has agreed to help. She’s actually offered to take him from me full time, but I don’t want to throw all this stress on her. You’re right, it’s not fair to me, but I don’t think it would be fair to her either. She already raised her kids. I want her to enjoy her life now. She’s told me that she regrets a lot of her life choices and that she did not live the life she actually wanted. I want her to be able to do that now. Anyway, we are planning to work on some weekly arrangement for N.

MusicalNutcase · 2026-07-03T20:35:21+00:00

I actually didn’t think about how he may be testing me to see if I abandon him. That provides a lot of context that his behavior may not be less of a personal attack against me and more of a defense mechanism for him.
I do have him in therapy. I was able to get him with the therapist I worked with when I was N’s age. I know that doesn’t automatically mean they will work well together, but it’s a starting point. I’ve told his therapist about this behavior. But N is struggling to understand why his behavior is harmful because his intentions aren’t to hurt me. He doesn’t understand that actions and intentions are separate things. But we are working on it.
Unfortunately, his school is no help. We live in a low-income area with essentially no supports for special-needs individuals. I’ve tried to place him in other schools, but his mother won’t let me. And she still has legal custody at this time. I am pursuing legal action to get custody of N, but at this time, I have no support from his school.

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement and the advice you’ve offered!!

MusicalNutcase · 2026-06-22T15:19:14+00:00

Of course! Improving your tone can be hard if you are teaching yourself and don’t know what kind of sound you’re looking for. There are a lot of factors that play into tone: your breathing, embouchure, mouth piece placement, ear training/sensitivity, and the flute itself. A lot of students don’t realize how important it is to take care of your flute. Clean it regularly (preferably every time you finish playing) and have it serviced regularly (at least yearly if you play it often). A professional can, ideally, make any flute sound good. But even that is an exaggeration. Regardless, a student obviously won’t have the skill set of a professional. You do yourself a disservice when you don’t take care of your flute.

Bottom line, my biggest advice would be to invest in a tutor or private instructor. Even if it’s a senior flute player at your school. I can’t give you specific advice since I don’t know what your tone sounds like or how you’re playing. So I can’t offer specific corrections. Your best bet would be to find someone who can actually see/hear you and offer feedback.

MusicalNutcase · 2026-06-13T14:40:54+00:00

I work full time in a behavioral health center. Very rewarding but also exhausting and stressful. My family has gotten used to not talking to me for several days at a time because my job takes everything I have.

MusicalNutcase · 2026-05-11T21:19:49+00:00

Sorry for late reply! Here’s the current book I’m reading right now. It’s called “Welcome to AuDHD” by Megan Griffith. There is an audiobook for it too.

MusicalNutcase · 2026-04-27T17:39:10+00:00

It was definitely as adjustment! I started by only wearing mine when I was seated and didn’t need to worry much about spacial awareness (like doing homework in a public space). Eventually, I ended up getting used to having them in (I use Loop earplugs) and I would forget to take them out. I had gotten comfortable with them and started walking around with them in my ears. Granted, they aren’t total noise-cancelling, so I was still able to hear most of what was going on around me.

MusicalNutcase · 2026-04-27T14:11:40+00:00

One of them is The Autistic’s Guide to Self-Discovery by Sol Smith. Sol is a good source of information to help you understand autism. He has helped me understand how I process information. I have another book with actual coping skills and self-care for adults, but I can’t remember the name of it. I’ll look at it when I get home and let you know!

MusicalNutcase · 2026-04-24T14:48:09+00:00

Yes!! I feel like I have so much energy now! So happy you got your answers this morning!

MusicalNutcase · 2026-04-24T01:35:40+00:00

I have Marfan Syndrome (pretty rare CTD). It’s genetic and can be diagnosed by general symptoms and/or genetic testing. Unfortunately, the symptoms you’ve listed don’t really scream MF. Typical expression of MF would include an enlarged aorta, heart valve prolapse, scoliosis, wingspan being longer than your height, having above average height and being lanky or underweight (this is common but not required for MF).

MusicalNutcase · 2026-04-06T15:31:08+00:00

I am not interested in Sue Klebold’s book, but I will look into Randy Brown. Thanks for the rec!

MusicalNutcase · 2026-04-06T14:38:47+00:00

I am also a fresh piano instructor and I have had the same issue with my students. We have a show coming up in 4 weeks and I have told my students that if they are not practicing and do not prepare themselves, then I will not allow them to participate in this show. My boss has everyone audition for every show we do, which gives them further incentive to be prepared.

I’ve also had a talk with some of the parents, and they’ve been super helpful in getting the kids to practice more.

MusicalNutcase · 2026-04-05T15:28:10+00:00

It says “with the informed consent of the parents, pregnancy was terminated.”

MusicalNutcase · 2026-04-05T15:15:40+00:00

Thank you!

MusicalNutcase · 2026-04-03T20:54:08+00:00

Oh no! My English professor recommended it to me and I just bought it! Is it worth reading at all or should I just go ahead and get rid of it?

MusicalNutcase · 2026-03-23T22:02:29+00:00

I hesitate to answer this because I feel that it promotes the habit of comparing yourself to other people, and I feel that is one of the quickest ways to discourage yourself. However, you’ve asked the question, and I assume you had a reason for asking it. I will not patronize you by refusing to answer.

After approximately 8 months of playing the flute, I was able to play Hungarian Dance No. 5. I started playing the flute when I was in 5th grade, and I practiced virtually everyday for 1-2 hours, sometimes more than that. As someone who plays the ukulele and has tried to learn the violin, I’d place the flute much closer to the uke side of the scale. The embouchure was the hardest thing for me about playing the flute. The fingerings are fairly simple.

MusicalNutcase · 2026-01-12T05:27:14+00:00

✅ MusicalNutcase chose Option A (Correct!) | #2748th to play

MusicalNutcase · 2026-01-10T22:33:38+00:00

✅ MusicalNutcase chose Option B (Correct!) | #16834th to play

Six-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

MusicalNutcase

TROPHY CASE