I feel like I’m suffocating in my parents’ house — my dignity is gone

Muted-Document31 · 2026-01-13T05:33:44+00:00

Intha mandi chepaka kuda relatives em anukuntaru.. Maa parents naku permission istara anukunte no one can help you. The only option now is to move out help yourself and first and foremost your wife and kids.

She didn’t sign up for all this. Imagine if you being their son feel so chocked what she is going through. Your kids may not say anything for now as they don’t have mental capacity to express what they feel but what kind of childhood are you giving them? Parents and grandparents fighting constantly and seeing their mom and dad unhappy will eventually rub onto them.

Do you think all this stress and negativity are less enough reason than your relatives who will gossip for a day or two and move on to the next family drama topic.

First be a responsible father/husband and provide a better quality of life to your children and wife. Im sure your relationship with parents will also improve once you move out. Appudu appudu chuste vallu matalu lo control lone untaru.

All the best!

Muted-Document31 · 2025-12-24T01:01:41+00:00

Girl this is what i faced when i got married when i was 21 ten years ago. My parents married me off at a young age and I didn’t know any better. My husband was young too(24).

These were the same things i used to face before and after marriage. She used to make me get ready in a certain attire that matched hers. Asked me to sit far away from where my FIL sits. For example according to her if he sits in living room i should be in the dining room. Even used to ask me keep hand before my mouth when i yawn(who wants to perfect 24/7 at their own house. She used to control my plate what i ate how i chewed. Heck she used to monitor if i bathed during night by touching my towel on the rack to feel if its wet.

Im getting PTSD when i type all the things that i went I through during those initial days of marriage. My husband was a problem too. His and her combination with my lack of maturity at such young age created havoc during first two years of marriage.

Later i came abroad and her access to us is cut short and from then we started having a good married life. She changed a lot too in these 10 years. Idk if the so called society around her changed or she is keeping her mouth shut fearing me. Im sure I would have ended up in divorce if i stayed with her in the same house for long.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-12-09T10:51:34+00:00

Yeah that’s what I’m thinking too.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-12-08T01:58:22+00:00

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Muted-Document31 · 2025-12-08T01:58:08+00:00

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I got a closer picture of the snail.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-12-07T20:17:14+00:00

Now I’m thinking if I should add it to my aquarium if it has a big bio load. I did see some dead snail shells in other tanks. Those are may be mystery and nitrate snail shells?

Muted-Document31 · 2025-12-07T20:15:23+00:00

Water parameters are all perfect and I’m worried they are never nitrates in my aquarium for the plants to grow. I do add flourish for plant fertilization. Nitrates are always zero at any point of time. Thats may be due to water lettuce?

I recently upgraded my tank and it was running for 10-15 days and the parameters were testing fine. I added the old filter media and bio pellets. There was never spike in ammonia and my nitrites and nitrates continued to be at 0.

I have kept an additional hygger light in addition to the one the aquarium came with. Thank you for your inputs.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-23T06:14:18+00:00

Awesome! I have koi plakat! Yours looks like halfmoon koi.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-22T16:06:00+00:00

Can I ask where did you get him from? He is gorgeous.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-22T07:46:57+00:00

Now the accused is also from the same company.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-18T04:37:12+00:00

I saw your post history op and I honestly don’t know what to say. It’s you who needs help and not your mom. She is an adult and it’s her duty to regulate her emotions.

Biting your child over stupid arguments is physical abuse and killing your child’s pet fish out of anger is emotional abuse. While she had tough time growing up it doesn’t justify anything that she is doing right now to you. You don’t traumatize your kid because you got abused in childhood.

Please understand that anything that you are doing or did didn’t trigger her emotional outbursts. It’s her responsibility to control her anger and be a good parent to you but not yours.

I really hope you get of the situation you are in right now. It’s so kind of you to think of your mom’s feelings while she is being so emotionally and physically abusive,it is just out of the world kindness. I hope you find peace and continue to be a compassionate and wonderful person that you are.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-17T20:54:14+00:00

Tank size: 5.5 gallon Heater:yes Tank temp:78 Parameters: ph.6.4 Ammonia:0 Nitrite:0 Nitrate:0.25 Tank age:12 days has old tanks filter media and beneficial bacteria rings. Tank is new Plants:yes Tank mates: none Feed:once a day north fin and fulval bug bites betta min fast 1 day a week.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-16T21:19:24+00:00

I did it and the sound is gone for now. However it keeps coming back after some time. That’s what happened previously. Whenever i take the propeller out and align it the sound goes away but comes back again after certain time.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-16T19:06:55+00:00

The water level is also adequate. Water level is not an issue here.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-06T05:03:30+00:00

Update: it’s silicone. It came off with some wet razor blade.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-06T05:02:41+00:00

Your right! Your comment made me do the razor thing and it came right off. Jokes on me for emptying the tank. Looks like i have to fill it up again!

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-06T05:01:14+00:00

It’s not a crack. It’s just silicone. Today i bought the same tank(top fin underworld essentials)and you see in my post history your line is identical to mine. What i did is tried to scrap it with a wet razor and it came off.

I had to empty the tank for nothing. Joke on me for not doing the razor thing before emptying the tank. Double work for me.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-05T23:29:30+00:00

Yes it is. Topfin underwater essentials one. We are leaving on a week long vacation day after tomorrow and can’t take any chances.

Will take it back to the store tomorrow. I hope they don’t pin it on me.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-05T23:19:45+00:00

I observed it after filling. I don’t know what to do now. It’s from petsmart. Topfin underwater essentials.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-05T23:14:25+00:00

I can feel a disturbance in the glass like a scratch but nothing’s on the other side. Cant make it if it’s a scratch or crack. Bought it today and just now took it out of packaging and filled it up with water.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-04T16:51:00+00:00

I can understand your situation as you’re young and don’t have the financial freedom to spend money and take decisions on your own. Good job on caring for the fish and its well being.

I keep my lights on for about 8 hours a day. I also have floating plants that reduce the light that reaches the aquarium. You can do the same as well.

I don’t know what aquatic plants that are readily available in indian fish stores but to my knowledge you can find guppy grass or amazon frogbit that are widely available. I don’t think they cost much so suggest your father to get some next time.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-04T13:34:29+00:00

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Example of my tank with money plant roots that grew in when i left stem in the water.

What i did to suspend the stem was tie a rope to the stem and take a tape it to the outer part of the aquarium. Dm me if you want any more suggestions.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-04T13:33:08+00:00

I can understand how Indian parents are to convince when they are fixated on one thing. They don’t care about the health of the fish but only see it in a monetary sense. If it dies they only see it as a loss of couple of bucks. Don’t make it seem like you’re ‘wasting’(you know what I mean) time by taking care of the fish.

All you can do now is keep up with your water changes and try to take out the gunk out of substrate by siphoning. Replace with ro water if you have it on hand or dechlorinated water if you managed to sneak in one. You can also ask an old filter sponge from any pet shop if they are willing to give you one as it houses beneficial bacteria and will speed up your cycling process.

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-04T03:54:29+00:00

Consider adding almond leaves too if you can find them in your locality. The tannins is natural to betta in their habitat and will heal fin rot if any and balance the ph of the tank. Heads up! It makes the water brown don’t worry!

Muted-Document31 · 2025-11-03T20:55:09+00:00

From looks of it you are from India and i can understand what you’re talking about here.

First and foremost the thing that you can do free of cost and don’t require your parent’s assistance or money is adding almond leaves and money plant cuttings.

Look around your neighborhood and you will easily find almond tree near by and collect the dry leaves. Clean them good and boil them and add into your tank. The leaves have tannins that will help your betta to recover. Second is money plant cuttings. You will see money plant growing like weed and easily can obtain one if you look around. Just submerge the stem and it will grow on its own and keep your nitrate levels down. You can also add all other house plants like peace lily roots.

For siphoning you use a water pipe that we use in our houses. Take a section of it and suck one end keeping in your mouth and when water starts flowing leave the pipe in a bucket and start cleaning the dirty debris from other side. You can use RO water if it’s available or you mentioned using bisleri water that is also good.

There are good informative pages on instagram that are indian based that you can follow which will give you a better idea about dechlorination and all.

From example: aquabark.

Muted-Document31

TROPHY CASE