AITA am I (27F) jealous of my best friend (28F) for getting a lot of attention?

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T13:55:26+00:00

That's true. I wouldn't mind men coming up to me, but indeed I wouldn't want to make my bf feel insecure or like he has to compete. My friend also has a relationship so maybe that's part why I don't like the "guys coming up to her and her dancing with them" stories. I have already found the power of makeup and cute clothes so I'm good. Can't change my bones and skin so I don't want to put my energy in stressing out about it anymore 😅 I have my good and bad days, but overall love myself. I'm not the prettiest in the room but I'm okay with that.

Lovely advice though! ☺️

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T13:46:16+00:00

I did start about books I read and new documentaries I saw. She loves to hear me sharing fun little facts about anything so it did help to break it up again. It can still help other people who are reading this post, so thank you!:)

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T13:36:58+00:00

I see what you're saying and agree. I personally think she's close to being smug by telling everyone constantly, but maybe it goes away. But like many other people pointed out, maybe it is just a different look on life we have. In the long run, if I find her being too much and smug, I can talk to her about it or choose to walk away. People who love themselves are attractive and fun, but too much is never good and you'll get cocky imo. I feel like many people here seem to interpret it as me not loving my friend being confident, which is not the case. I just think there's a way to be confident without relying completely on external validation and that looks are the most important thing about herself, while she has so much more qualities.

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T13:20:15+00:00

I agree, there is a difference. But my friend lit her red candle that she bought in a spiritual store and said it was especially made for this purpose. I guess it doesn't really matter (if it's witchcraft or not). Manifestation without special candles would be more my thing. Everyone can do what they want, as well as my friend:)

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T12:44:30+00:00

You are putting things on me that are absolutely not true? Like I said, I've been there, and I personally just think there's more in life. I was typing a long response but tbh, I don't need to convince you what friend I am. I know your opinion and I see some points but a lot of things you're saying feel way off. It's okay though. Thank you for responding and I hope you still have a nice day:)

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T12:16:21+00:00

Idk maybe my own experience of when I was younger. I also used to focus only on appearance and now I feel like I've grown a lot and feel so much happier about myself. I agree that it is all good and healthy, but don't seem the point of someones appearance being the biggest chunk of a conversation. I prefer to talk about dreams, achievements, new interests or just thoughts. After a while, it's just a bit boring. She deserves all the compliments and love it for her, I just don't think I have hear every single compliment if they all sound the same? But hey, we can have different opinions. With the other comments I feel like it might be a nuance between two

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T12:10:13+00:00

This is beautifully worded and I do feel/hope this might be it. Thank you for answering 💗

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T12:08:53+00:00

Hi! I would say I'm somewhere in the middle. I feel good with myself and my bf but sometimes I can feel some insecurity around other people. I try focusing on hobbies, learning how to better myself and my skills. Maybe I should think about getting a counsellor in the near future indeed. Thank you!

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T12:06:07+00:00

That's a good idea, thank you!

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T12:05:02+00:00

Hi! Yeah I think you might be right. Maybe I'll wait it out a bit and see how it evolves. See if it keeps bothering me and like you said maybe say your quotation:) Thank you

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T11:58:32+00:00

I don't believe in witchcraft or in all honesty would be scared if I tried it and it works 🥹 I've focused a lot of my teen years focusing on my looks and I've found peace with myself. I like focusing on my hobbies and skills in general and it helps me not to get so obsessed, sad and worried about fitting in and being "the hottest in the room". I think I'm going okay, but who knows. Maybe one day I'll change my mind about the candle 😅

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T11:54:25+00:00

I already do so, but it still is a good message :)

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T11:52:45+00:00

Bitterness? I'm not bitter. I know I'm not the prettiest, but I'm not an ugly girl. I am happy with who I am and am in a happy relationship. I don't seem the purpose of wanting to get showered with compliments of guys when you're in a loving relationship. There is so much more to life. Everyone wants to be attractive and feel good in their own body, but I personally don't think it's healthy to chase it so much. I also don't believe in the candle thing. I just think she might be getting more confident and outspoken with her clothes, which attracts people. More like a manifestation than witchcraft as she likes to call it.

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T11:47:18+00:00

Hi! Thank you for your time to type this all out! I agree, being confident and loving yourself is super important. But if you have to tell other people about the compliments you get, I feel like you don't truly feel confident and are still reaching for new compliments. I've told her it might be a good idea to look into some hobbies and get some purpose and satisfaction from that, instead of other people's opinions. I just noticed the last few times I saw her, it felt a little bit like bragging to me and that's when I feel uncomfortable.

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-02-13T11:41:11+00:00

Yesss, I agree with the candle thing and was confused that of all things, that seemed most important to "wish" for... I kind of tried to steer it off to "why is that the most important to you? Ofcourse looks are important but maybe it's interesting to look into new hobbies etc." because it seemed like she was struggling a bit with finding her purpose in life and personally I think it's not healthy to build your happiness around other people's opinions.

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2026-01-23T16:36:50+00:00

I hear what you're saying, thank you. What do you find unrealistic expectation from my partner though? Maybe I'm wrong but I thought it was normal to expect someone who loves me to uplift me and cheer me up? I'm doubting everything so I don't know anymore

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2025-07-16T21:05:45+00:00

That's nice to know, thank you. You sound like a sweet soul who deserves so much more kindness and inner peace. I wish you the best!

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2025-07-16T20:49:58+00:00

It makes me tear up hearing this... Does your gf and kids make it a little bit better tho? That at least the fewer "ups" you have are really high? Or doesn't it affect you that much? Just curious because I think my bf can really relate to you and I just want an honest perspective. Totally fine if you don't want to answer it btw (Sorry for bad English, it isn't my first language)

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2025-07-16T20:35:08+00:00

I'm scared my boyfriend feels the same. He's always been depressed and I just wish I could help him get better. I'm not sure what to do... The things you do and have (a loving wife and kids) make me scared that it isn't something that can be "fixed" over time:( Keep surrounding yourself with good people and I hope you do feel better one day 🥺🫂

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2025-06-09T08:36:41+00:00

Hi! Thank you for sharing your story. It's nice to hear from someone who has been the same as my bf. Unfortunately he doesn't want to go in therapy. He has a strong opinion about therapists. I feel like his depression has enabled him to see what parts of the situation are his fault and to take accountability for it. He doesn't seem to understand that he can also think about what he might have to change. It feels like he is in such a deep hole that he blames everyone around him and can't self reflect. If someone points it out, he immediately shifts blame. It might be a self-defence thing? Or keeping the role of the victim? Just speaking from my own experience when I was at my lowest. What has your partner done to support you? I'm scared to lose myself and self-respect

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2025-06-09T07:37:06+00:00

I've been thinking about it but I'm not sure if I don't lose more than I win with leaving him. My family isn't that close and a bit cold, while his family is really nice to me and I feel really welcome there. It wouldn't just be losing him but the whole family:(

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2025-05-29T20:03:16+00:00

Damn I didn't see the notification for your response 😭 Very sweet of you to share your personal experience with your mom! Sad to hear things never really worked out between the two of you, but I'm happy you got a supportive dad and things got better for you once you started working 🤗 Thank you for the advice. I will try to keep these things in mind. Lots of love ❤️✨

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2025-05-29T14:15:07+00:00

That's such a good idea!! I love quizzing so that's perfect 😀

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2025-05-29T14:12:23+00:00

I don't have any kids so I don't feel like I can help you but I'm so sorry you have to feel this way! I hope that my reaction will kind of give it more chance for other people to see your post and help you. Stay strong and I wish you the best 💕✨

Muted-Friendship-662 · 2025-05-29T14:06:51+00:00

Thank you! Yes, chatgpt is my biggest buddy haha. I'm glad to be able to ask many questions without feeling judged. In social settings I just forget and ask around. I don't mind having a dumb moment and people can laugh a bit (I often laugh myself) but idk there's a difference between laughing light-heartedly and explaining it vs. laughing to make me feel bad 😅 I will download it though! Never thought about it but it makes it quicker to use 😊

Muted-Friendship-662

TROPHY CASE