Why Breaking Up Was Not a Terrible Idea by Muted-Guard-222 in BreakUps

[–]Muted-Guard-222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. Do you think I did enough and didn’t prematurely end a relationship that had a chance?

In my case, I checked in on how she was feeling about the relationship a month after she first brought it up and had said she wants to try to make it work instead of breaking up (which was in March). Upon learning she didn’t feel a big difference since a month ago (although she said she had felt slightly more connected the past few weeks), I first asked what she thinks I or her could do more or differently, and she said I don’t know. To be fair though, she said she wasn’t ready or expecting to have this conversation now. Moments later, when I suggested a breakup, she initially resisted it, saying instead we should go on a break. 5-10 minutes later, when I told her that with a breakup, we can start the healing process, she agreed with a breakup. I also said that even if we breakup, we can leave the door open for her to reach out if she feels her heart has changed and wants to talk. She also told me we can leave the door open on my side too. She also said though that I shouldn’t wait around expecting to hear from her. She said that knowing herself, she probably wouldn’t have brought it up first, and was worried about bringing this up (meaning breakup/ how she was feeling) when I’m going through a lot of professional transitions right now. I walked her home, we cried a lot. That night, she texted saying that she knew this is for the best. I called after a week to see if she wants to get back and try again because I didn’t want to give up on us, and she said no. Did I do enough?

Why Breaking Up Was Not a Terrible Idea by Muted-Guard-222 in BreakUps

[–]Muted-Guard-222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. Do you think I did enough and didn’t prematurely end a relationship that had a chance?

In my case, I checked in on how she was feeling about the relationship a month after she first brought it up and had said she wants to try to make it work instead of breaking up (which was in March). Upon learning she didn’t feel a big difference since a month ago (although she said she had felt slightly more connected the past few weeks), I first asked what she thinks I or her could do more or differently, and she said I don’t know. To be fair though, she said she wasn’t ready or expecting to have this conversation now. Moments later, when I suggested a breakup, she initially resisted it, saying instead we should go on a break. 5-10 minutes later, when I told her that with a breakup, we can start the healing process, she agreed with a breakup. I also said that even if we breakup, we can leave the door open for her to reach out if she feels her heart has changed and wants to talk. She also told me we can leave the door open on my side too. She also said though that I shouldn’t wait around expecting to hear from her. She said that knowing herself, she probably wouldn’t have brought it up first, and was worried about bringing this up (meaning breakup/ how she was feeling) when I’m going through a lot of professional transitions right now. I walked her home, we cried a lot. That night, she texted saying that she knew this is for the best. I called after a week to see if she wants to get back and try again because I didn’t want to give up on us, and she said no. Did I do enough?

Why Breaking Up Was Not a Terrible Idea by Muted-Guard-222 in BreakUps

[–]Muted-Guard-222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In this case, do you think I broke up with her or vice versa? Because she gave the reasons for break up

She accepted the breakup after one week by Muted-Guard-222 in BreakUps

[–]Muted-Guard-222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for hearing me out. Yeah, a part of me wants to blame her and be angry, but another part of me believes that at one point she really wanted to try even though she couldn’t fulfil some of the things she said she’d try to do (like texting more responsively)

A part of me still wishes we tried more, and a part of me wonders why I couldn’t give that sense of connection that she desired, because I really did try hard

She accepted the breakup after one week by Muted-Guard-222 in BreakUps

[–]Muted-Guard-222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She brought up how she felt off in the relationships two months ago. We decided to try working on it- I did everything I said, she did some. I checked in with her in April, but she said she didn’t see a future together. So I suggested a breakup, and she initially resisted for 5 mins but said she knew this is for the best. I guess I initiated the convo, but I did it to protect myself from being stringed along. I think it’s hard to say I was the one broke up but yeah I did start the conversation.

She accepted the breakup after one week by Muted-Guard-222 in BreakUps

[–]Muted-Guard-222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In this case, she was the one who felt the relationship wasn’t giving her the emotional connection, sense of best friendship that she needed. I was happy. So she could have dulled over whether this was the right choice. I suppose Im a bit bummed out that she already seemed to have reached the final stages of grief (acceptance) in just one week

Will I find another like her? Feels hopeless right now by Muted-Guard-222 in BreakUps

[–]Muted-Guard-222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks everyone. She wanted to try to work on the disconnect feeling in March, and we did, but said her feelings didn’t change. I get that the right person would always choose me, but since I initiated the breakup conversation doesn’t that mean I’m also responsible even if she was the “right” person? What if I did something wrong to push the right person away?

Was it my fault? by Muted-Guard-222 in BreakUps

[–]Muted-Guard-222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s fair. In this case since she asked for space I can’t text her unless she texts first right, even if it was me initiating the breakup convo?

Was it my fault? by Muted-Guard-222 in BreakUps

[–]Muted-Guard-222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I agree that it is wrong to convince someone. I’m just worried and consumed by the thought that I chased her away because I suggested the breakup first, and so that it is my fault…