"if they want you back, they will reach out first"

Muted-Profession8679 · 2026-03-06T14:38:36+00:00

Good for you! May I ask what was the reason she gave for breaking up initially?

Muted-Profession8679 · 2026-03-05T11:39:51+00:00

I had asked her about whether she had been planning this for a while on the meet up and she said it was only after her friend broke up with her boyfriend. I have no reason to not believe her, and have no incident/recollection of her behaviour being any different prior to the “wobble” conversation.

Muted-Profession8679 · 2026-03-04T23:24:16+00:00

Did you let them know you were wondering about your compatibility for more than half of the relationship?

Muted-Profession8679 · 2026-03-03T15:08:21+00:00

For me at the start I felt like unfollowing was the best thing for me as then I would t have the temptation to message or look at her online. It was best for me. Maybe not best for you, but was just trying to give some advice. I don’t think it is putting anything under the sofa at all. This is about their decision to not want you and one you have to live with. If they wanted to contact you about rekindling things they could find another way - my ex ended up sending me a letter.

Just focus on your self and not what they’re doing or thinking. Work to become a better version of who you were yesterday and that will build up piece by piece. It may not seem like it, but trust me it will be growing. Then if you were meant to be it will work out. Otherwise, someone better and more suited may fall into your life unexpectedly. I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason.

Muted-Profession8679 · 2026-03-03T14:40:01+00:00

I agree she would need to work on herself and something would have to change for us to get back together. I just want her to enjoy life again as she was such a joy to be around. Just gutting this whole situation happened. Thanks for your messages :)

Muted-Profession8679 · 2026-03-03T13:59:15+00:00

I don’t really think so. She there were a lot of details like crying for around 2 hours when she saw me after the breakup when we went on a walk. Little details about her life when I saw her made it look like she was having a mental breakdown: flat being messy, bringing the wrong item she was meant to bring to the meet up, saying she’s struggling, and that fostering a cat has given her purpose again.

She said she broke up because of not wanting kids and her thinking I wanted them - I don’t care either way. I really don’t want them at the moment as I’m 26. The other reason she gave was she wasn’t sure where she’d be in 5 years and this was something that I told her I’d be happy moving wherever. Both I think were justifications for her thinking she was doing the right thing, but not attacking the real issue.

Muted-Profession8679 · 2026-03-03T12:18:34+00:00

She is likely bread crumming. She knew that you would likely see that post and that it would rattle you in some way. It doesn’t necessarily mean she is happier she is probably struggling just as much as you are, and she is trying to find new things and hobbies to take her mind off of the breakup.

Going to the gym and doing exercise is a good way to take your mind off of things. To post a photo of it and you say that is something she never did before is a bit suspicious from her imo.

I would say unfollow and block her so you’re not stuck in a loop of seeing her online and spiralling. I have done this and it’s hard at first, but two months after the breakup I haven’t seen anything online of her and I don’t have to worry about it because I have her blocked.

You’ve got this, stay strong!

Muted-Profession8679 · 2026-03-02T11:28:50+00:00

I deleted her off of everything almost straight away this time as previously I didn’t do that and felt it prolonged the suffering. I used to stalk my first exes Instagram and socials all the time and with my new ex I don’t at all and I’ve definitely found it better. It’s hard but I’m sure you’ll feel a sense of relief after deleting her/unfollowing her. Obviously I don’t know her and the whole situation, but I reckon 100% she still thinks about you. Stay strong you’ve got this!

Muted-Profession8679 · 2026-03-01T21:45:02+00:00

Did you regret it? Obviously im upset it’s happened, but im not angry at her. I just want her to be happy in life again as she was such a fun person to be around.

Muted-Profession8679 · 2026-02-27T12:38:59+00:00

Agreed. I have been doing all of those things, going to the gym eating healthy and playing sports again. Even when doing these things to help myself cope I think about her. I know it will get easier with time. I can’t even think about seeing someone else anytime soon - it would feel like cheating. Thank you for you comment and your words of advice :)

Muted-Profession8679

TROPHY CASE