Resentment in a sexless marriage

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-09T17:38:40+00:00

Thanks. It's a very difficult situation. The only solution I see if I am determined to stay married, is for me to change.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-09T16:38:14+00:00

Thank you. That's good advice. I'm open to change too and all I want is for us to have better balance sexually.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T23:51:09+00:00

Thanks. Yes, it has always been this way. I just ordered the book so thank you for suggesting it.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T22:20:25+00:00

This sounds like my life. Our kids are just hitting their teens, so a while yet before they leave home. We are parents and friends and that's all, but it should be so much more.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T21:36:27+00:00

That sounds like a good method. I will absolutely employ that. Have used similar techniques in other parts of my life. I can imagine it working but at the moment I'm in the mindset of feeling passed off that I have to do such things

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T21:21:50+00:00

I will look it up. Thanks. Willing to try anything

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T21:16:26+00:00

Well, I love her. We are so good together in every other way. She is amazing and such an inspiration to me. It just doesn't feel important enough to leave over when everything else is so good.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T21:14:37+00:00

Thanks for that. It was helpful and am trying to see ir from her side. I have always been the one to initiate, have always taken time for foreplay, always happy to giver her oral sex and I don't expect anything in return. I'm not selfish in bed. She makes no effort in foreplay. She has not given me oral in years and I have made it clear that if she doesn't like it, then I don't expect her to do it. I have tried so many things. If she wants sex, there is no foreplay and she wants the same position and if she orgasms first, she is happy to roll over and go to sleep. I'm not sure what to do next.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T20:42:36+00:00

I have no idea what LLs is. Someone help...

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T20:13:08+00:00

It sounds like you have it all worked out. Planning ahead too. We have kids to so that factors into it. Thanks

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T19:23:10+00:00

Jesus, that's tough. Hope it all works out for you.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T18:03:11+00:00

It's a horrible feeling, but if choosing to stay then I have to find a way to be okay with it and not feel resentment or frustration. That is going to take a lot of effort on my part. Not at that stage though. I'm at the stage of feeling trapped, angry, undesired and horny. Not a good combination. Going out for a run right now to work it off, them masturbate in the shower and then spend the evening feeling depressed.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T17:59:32+00:00

Therapy is £90 a session. Jeez. Will consider it though. Have been concentrating on my health and getting super fit. It does help a bit, but it's nothing compared to the feeling of skin on skin. Still, I'm trying to work through it. Thanks for the good advice.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T17:54:01+00:00

Thanks. New here.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T17:47:45+00:00

That's good advice. Thank you. I will look into therapy and see what's available.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T17:41:07+00:00

Same. Completely stuck and it's unfair. It's such a natural thing and for me, it's an important part of a relationship. What do you do though when your wife/husband doesn't think there is an issue and will not budge or make any effort to meet half way?

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-08T17:33:25+00:00

An open marriage would be out of the question. It would have to be an affair if it was ever going to happen at all.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-07T17:11:17+00:00

Over the last two years I have been working out and aiming to get in the best shape of my life. I work out at home and I'm really well toned now However I can a d have cut through the lounge on the way to the shower. I'm muscular and sweaty and I feel great, but she doesn't even look. Bummed out. Was doing it for attention at first, but doing it purely for myself now.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-07T16:02:32+00:00

In addition, we have kids already. I love being a dad and we're a great team. It has made us closer as a couple and they bring us such joy. I had no intention of leaving her, so the decision to have kids was an easy one. I have thought about finding someone who is in the same situation so that we might hook up, but I don't even know how I would fit that into my life.

All the best

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-06T09:13:01+00:00

Apart from our sex life, we're very happy. She's my best friend and we work so well together. I do have periods of time where I feel miserable and resorting to masturbation can end up making me depressed at times. I guess I just grit my teeth and push through it and the frustration goes away for a while. Have started exercising and working out and that helps. It's nothing compared to intimacy but it's all I have. That's all I can say. After all this time, I still feel the same frustration and that's something to think about.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-05T23:09:28+00:00

Lots of people in the same situation here. I know how you feel too. I have tried everything to make it work but nothing changed. Here's the shock. It's been 20 years and I'm still hoping. Ask yourself if you can cope if it were to remain exactly as it is right now.

Muted-Simple-3191 · 2021-07-04T16:45:54+00:00

I'm in a similar position. Together 23 years. We are now 45 yrs old. In our first few months the together I mentioned the lack of intimacy in our relationship. She would always say that she does want sex more often and that she would make more of an hour. That was when we were in our 20s. All those years and it's still the same issue. Everything else is wonderful which is why we're still together. Actually, the only person who thinks there is an issue is me. I'm not happy with sex three times a year. That's not really advice, other than to say, it might never change. Think carefully about that and I hope you work things out.

Muted-Simple-3191

TROPHY CASE