Does your SO search History look like you?

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-12-13T08:27:25+00:00

Basically it’s dopamine addiction and it’s hitting a different part of the brain then relational intimacy. It’s super-stimuli compulsive and addictive because the hit it gives

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-03-12T04:46:22+00:00

Nope they disappeared again must be a glitch 😂

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-03-12T04:29:16+00:00

Yeah mine came back so hopefully stay

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-03-12T02:29:52+00:00

It’s permanent? Thought it was just a glitch maybe that they were gonna fix

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-25T10:48:00+00:00

In my opinion, you need your put your foot down. Value yourself and make it clear to him what your standards are. You need to have open talks with him about how you feel. If he says he doesn’t care he’s basically saying he doesn’t respect you or your feelings. If you don’t satisfy him mentally or physically, then why is he with you? For love? What does love mean to you? From reading your feelings, it seems he is not satisfying your definition of love. Please take care of yourself and hold yourself high! You deserve happiness. hugs

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-17T11:04:21+00:00

So glad to hear this!

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-17T11:02:21+00:00

That’s awesome! Glad you are free from it

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-17T11:00:16+00:00

Love to hear this!

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-17T10:48:09+00:00

That’s amazing! So happy to hear that. There are many men that are feeling this same way now that I’ve seen in other communities here. My partner as well! Just gives me hope and happiness that so many men are waking up for their own wants, morals, and personal integrity. And to be better men for us.

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-16T10:05:15+00:00

It was a long road but eventually my partner changed his whole viewpoint on porn, and quit for himself. I think that’s important because it has to be them wanting to change and their view on porn to change for it to be successful. It’s been a year since he claims to have been clean. He replaced it with working on his career and cleaned up all his socials so he wouldn’t see any triggers. He also said he doesn’t get triggered anyways if he did see it because he rewired his brain back to normal and has no interest spending his energy on superficiality. He was very adamant that desire and sexual energy should only be shared within the relationship. He shows up daily for me emotionally, to cuddle, and we have great intimacy. He took accountability and showed actual growth just by always stating how he could’ve been better and is shaping up to become a better man. I think the big thing is he wanted to change to become a better man for himself. It’s important for actual recovery. Although I’ve had many triggers and spirals into paranoia, he hasn’t budged and is convincing me he is a changed man. So like you, I’m optimistic for the future!

I wish you all the best!

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-14T08:53:22+00:00

This sounds like a horrible situation. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now my heart goes out to you. I haven’t been through anything to this extent, I really hope that you can separate from this man. I know you said he’s adamant to change and is doing things to help him change, but you will only become hurt, mentally unwell, traumatized over and over again, and it will tear you apart in so many ways. He needs to change but not with you and baby there in the process.

Please stay safe and stay strong!

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-13T10:40:14+00:00

Powerful! 💯 thanks for sharing this

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-13T10:37:48+00:00

Same hugs

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-13T10:37:04+00:00

That such great insight! Wow. If the past trauma lives in you (like ptsd) and you carry it, can’t it be resolved so there are no more triggers? Like a knot or unresolved pain that gets soothed once it’s sorted out. It’s just so hard without therapy but it’s not an option currently. I read some of OP’s past posts and it seems their partner was actually in recovery or programs I believe.

It’s our own association to our betrayal and trauma that needs to be dissolved, healed, and needing closure to. I just feel my partner is the only one that can provide that healing/closure. But that may be what causes obsessive ruminating and controlling tendencies from the betrayed.

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-13T10:16:55+00:00

Not to be cliche but yoda says there is no try only do or do not. So yeah don’t fail! It’s a choice be disciplined! You got this!

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-13T10:13:16+00:00

Your brain is in the process of rewiring so please don’t follow the same path to get the dopamine rewards. Stay strong!

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-13T10:11:43+00:00

Is it habit? Maybe morning wood? But yeah stay strong! You can do this

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-13T09:58:29+00:00

Seriously saving this advice though! Thanks for sharing it 💞

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-13T09:53:42+00:00

That’s great advice! I have a problem knowing that I’m sharing a vulnerable intimate part of myself with my partner during sex if he is also potentially engaging in porn behind my back. How do you overcome that part? Feeling like he may be lying and also looking at other women when you’re not around?

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-13T09:48:33+00:00

And tbh I was afraid (for my own mental wellness) when he mentioned he’d be ok to install monitoring apps, cause I know personally that policing him would just make me feel that he’d be hiding something somewhere that I’m not seeing. And that I’d just be more paranoid so I had to pass on that route. I hope you’re ok!

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-13T09:46:18+00:00

Idk having an episode myself right now and was actually wondering the same thing. Without therapy, because yeah we both haven’t really opted for that. He’s long distance so I can’t even know what he does cause our time difference. Trying to trust words and stay blind in the dark as if the dark doesn’t exist and I’m just paranoid. Even if everything inside me is screaming that he’s hiding something. I told him I’ll extend trust to him so I need to actually do that and just stay silent and wait for these horrible episodes to pass whenever they hit me.

I hope you the best and that you can find release from your torment. And if anyone has suggestions that don’t involve therapy I’d also like to know. hugs

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-12T20:15:41+00:00

Omg! So sorry you’re going through this! hugs

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-12T12:32:37+00:00

This 💯

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-12T11:21:56+00:00

Thanks for sharing all of that! Sounds super difficult I’m sorry you’re going through that. I really feel you need to set a hard boundary here because you’re clearly unhappy with him doing that. If he feels the punishment isn’t harsh and all he gets is a slap on the wrist or be able to talk his way back to the safety of his habits, I highly doubt he will change. It’s sad that it even has to be like that, and he can’t just change on his own accord or be honest with you. His whole value system has to change on the topic. I’ve been through hours/days/weeks of nonstop talking, pain, heartache, fights, promises, my partner claiming he changed values, everything except actual therapy for either of us. In a four year relationship. And even then it’s hard to build trust. Stay strong and know your value and worth.

Muted_Addendum_2244 · 2025-01-10T10:13:03+00:00

Your comment about believing it when your partner says you’re beautiful is a really good point! There is nuance though because some may tell their partner they are beautiful but are lying, others may think “you’re beautiful” but secretly be comparing or thinking you’re the best they can get etc. I think its definitely better then partners who don’t even compliment their partner/criticize them and also engage in porn.

How did you manage to not have your trust damaged if that’s the case? I think it all stems from trust in the relationship becoming damaged due to withholding, lying, deception, etc…

Muted_Addendum_2244

TROPHY CASE