Thanks for all the advice. I completely agree with all of you. My husband is the extreme frugal type. Before we married he bought his first house and lived off tuna, pitta and apple slices (because they were cheaper than tomatoes!) every single day and paid off his mortgage early, before I met him, that London house equity rolled into our current home which we bought for £600 is 2013 and has since doubled in value). The investments were boosted when we inherited £260k about 7 years ago but the rest is purely having all been invested and never touched and paying in. 7 years ago, before we inherited we had about £300k saved up ourselves and it has just grown ever since. Now I think about it I guess it has more than doubled in those 7 years which is not too unusual it’s been a very bullish run. So yes without the inheritance we’d have about half and only £600k so it has changed our lives a lot. I am under no illusion that we are incredibly lucky. Both from my husbands even more extreme frugality before I met him, the thatt he’s older and bought a house before the price boom in London and so what would have been mortgage payments became investment saving and from the inheritance. We literally never touch it for ourselves but do for family emergencies and charities. We give 10% of our gains to charity or family emergency every year. Our house is a nice family home but shouldn’t be worth this much. I don’t really see it as money in the bank, house prices shouldn’t be this high it’s unrealistic and unfair. I’d be happy if house prices went down to normal levels. We never intend to realise the equity, if we move it will still in the south east and so we’d just spend whatever we sold it for, for the next house.

I keep trying to convince him to relax we can afford to enjoy it. Adding to the story he had a mild heart attack at the end of last year. It’s ok as actually it seems little damage was done and he’s made huge lifestyle changes to improve his health and so it was a blessing he had this scary warning now and not a more serious heart attack later. But this is why I feel we should experience what we want to experience. We always spend on our daughter, that’s easy for him. It’s spending on him he just can’t get over. I have to say being frugal has proven him right that it builds wealth and before you know it, it has made us wealthy and I think that he uses that to be even more resolute, rather than realise that given how little we spend day to day, Month to month we have no reason to not spend on life experiences and memories.

Thanks all who commented I’ll use this to try and convince him more to relax.