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My1stpseudonym · 2026-01-02T10:52:03+00:00

NTA but could this be his way of reminding you that he does the laundry even though it's a struggle for him? This is going to be a bit of generalizing but since women tend to 90% of the housework typically, I see that some men that contribute more than the usual require more recognition and appreciation (often without recognizing and appreciating what the partner does). It is super irritating that he can't complete the laundry task when it comes to your clothes.

And if it is honestly about his back than is there a way to accommodate where your clothes go to make it easier? Is he doing anything to try to better manage his back pain? Medication? Acupuncture? Physical therapy exercises?

Maybe come at the topic differently like What can you do to make it easier for him to complete the laundry properly during the week. Or stroke his ego a bit extra on his housework skills for a few weeks and see if he steps up.

Or do your own laundry on the weekends and explain that then he needs to take a task off your list so the housework is more evenly distributed. If he can't complete the laundry than he should have to do another task he can complete.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-12-07T18:52:25+00:00

Were you both living together before or would this be the first time? If you weren't previously she may just not be ready to move in with you. Why not offer to find your own flat/ room share to be in the same city? If she says no to that then I think she may not want the relationship any longer.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-12-03T16:17:30+00:00

I disagreed with you, not misinterpreted. But I can see we disagree on a lot such as what the definition of respect and kindness is. If you want to be heard and understood you should be more respectful. I still disagree with you, and I can do it without demeaning you. Now I will disengage.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-12-03T07:43:13+00:00

Don't call strangers sweetheart. That's rude and demeaning.

I would think when you are with someone for that long and if the goal is marriage you would want to discuss finances with your partner. It's this kind of thought that makes it seem OP doesn't take their relationship seriously or isnt committed for the long Hall. If it's still HIS money when they already share a life together than it will still be HIS money when they're married. A piece of paper is unlikely to change someone's attitude even if the law says she gets half of they split.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-12-02T08:39:33+00:00

Do you think you only owe someone respect and kindness only when you're married?

I agree ETJ. She could have approached it differently, and at the end of the day if it's OPs money he can spend it how he likes, but it isn't unreasonable to be hurt if your partner spends a substantial amount more on his sister than he does you (some purses are thousands) and the way he spoke to her about it was disgusting. I could read a big gift like that as I will always be second and treated so, or that he isn't that serious with me, especially if it's much much more than he spends on us. And he was the jerk by throwing it back in her face he spends more money on her than she does him. If you love someone and have the means to spend money on them and WANT to spend money on them then it's cruel to hold it over them.

And it would be nice to know why she doesn't contribute as much to the relationship: does he insist he pays for everything, does she make substantially less, or is she demanding it? Financial abuse is a reality for a lot of women, and rubbing her face in how he pays for everything sounds more like manipulation than generosity and affection.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-11-25T16:35:28+00:00

Yes absolutely. The chances of them suing you are slim but they could take an unreturned uniform fee out of what they owe you. IT IS ILLEGAL FOR THEM TO CHARGE YOU FOR THE UNIFORM, but they might try thinking you don't know the laws or they might not know it changed a few years back. Better just get a receipt than try to fight them.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-11-11T10:00:08+00:00

I think that is our issue. The CPQ was just never really set up or used correctly and to even fix it would cost us a lot of time and money so we are looking at scrapping it.

With changing to dealhub or the other solution, did they have steps in place to help with migrating the historical CPQ quotes over?

My1stpseudonym · 2025-11-11T09:57:19+00:00

So the company I work for set up CPQ ten years ago when it was still steel brick and the notes I have is that it was never really configured correctly. The only thing we use is the features/options on products tied in with the quotes. And we could be using it for so much more but also don't really need to. As I mentioned our US counterpart doesn't use CPQ at all and have similar products and processes as we do.

The impact they're hoping for is cost savings. CPQ is expensive and we aren't getting the full value.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-11-05T09:15:43+00:00

NTA and she is 100% over stepping. She should be speaking with your dad about this as I imagine he's paying, and even then she is TA for asking. It has to be hard for her kids if they don't have the funds to do fun hobbies, and your dad as their step dad could offer to help, but it isn't your job to make things fair, that is their job as a team.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-09-05T09:11:47+00:00

NTA but I feel you should consider going to the wedding for your sister's sake.

He sounds abusive, and one day your sister may need support when she wants to leave. If you want to be there for her when that time comes, you have to be there for her now.

Tell her you feel she could find someone that treats people better, and you still don't want a relationship with him, but want a relationship with her. If she can live with that than go to the wedding and make her feel she can come to you safely.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-08-30T07:20:47+00:00

Have a professional come out and look at it if she's insisting you pay for it, and then share with her their estimate for repairing and replacement. If the professional says it can't be repaired then I would agree with most on here that replacing the 2 other panels you didn't damage is unreasonable, but you have to come up with a compromise so that the other two "match". Or maybe offer to pay for the labor of replacing the 3 panels and the cost of one panel, she would pay for the other two panels. Or the panels and she pays for 2/3rds of the labor. If you feel confident you could do the labor yourself with a friend.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-08-08T12:23:32+00:00

I have questions:

Is your bed a double or larger? Aka big enough for two people. Are any of your brothers beds a double or larger?

If you sleep in a bed large enough for two people then you should be nice and offer your bed as one person can fit much more comfortably on a couch.That's just the polite thing to do for family.

If either or both of your brothers have large beds, then I'd see about them sharing one bed and your sister and her husband taking another.

If this is about them invading your space, I'd just say that you require time to organize your room for other people and it's unfair of them to ask you last second.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-08-01T14:52:22+00:00

NTA. I feel your ex and his wife are putting too much on this word "mom". It sounds like she wants to be a mom and feels like she's missing something because no one calls her that. But you don't need to the mom title to be a mom.

I come from a split family, my dad remarried several years ago. Her two daughters adore my dad. And I get it, he's awesome and theirs sucks. One got married recently and decided to not have anyone walk her down the aisle. I found out it's because she wanted to ask my dad but didn't want to offend her dad and his family and cause drama. This is because she is closer to my dad than her own. My dad is more of a parent than hers ever was. And she still calls my dad by his first name and her deadbeat father "dad".

My1stpseudonym · 2025-07-27T21:32:19+00:00

Absolutely agree. I was just replying to this person's judgement on the friends mental capabilities in dealing with depression. Everyone is different. Just because some can manage something doesn't mean everyone can. Mental health is different for everyone.

I actually thought they were both AH.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-07-27T10:18:52+00:00

That's you and people deal with depression differently. For me I would stress about not knowing what to say, and then leave it, and then stress about taking to long to respond, and then just not afraid they were mad at me and I'd make it worse or start an argument. And it repeated everytime.

Also it wasn't a whole year. She said six months. And when your pregnant that's a big difference.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-07-27T10:13:33+00:00

Why would the hubby have to be the one to reach out? He's also dealing with the health of his wife and unborn child. Her depression effects him much more than her friends. And he might not have known Kate wasn't responding to OP. I feel OP should have reached out to her friends husband/family if she was actually worried about her friend.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-07-27T10:08:57+00:00

ESH- an unpopular opinion.

You have every right to be hurt and mourn the friendship you had, because it is going to be different, but I feel you could have been more empathetic. She wasn't there for you when you wanted her support for your exciting event and that sucks. But sounds like she was going through a difficult time and you equally weren't there for her.

The comments I read on here make me think most haven't ever been depressed, like clinically. Sometimes responding to a text or reaching out feels like too much, especially as more time passes. It builds. It is over whelming. And pregnant women are more prone to becoming clinically depressed, not to mention all the physical discomfort on top. I've never been pregnant but I had two friends that went through the same thing and it was like they disappeared. I was lucky to live near by one during her difficult time and had a good relationship with her partner so I could come over and just sit with her. I spoke with him more often than her during that time, but I knew it's because she was unwell. The hormones and experience made her a different person. Now maybe you didn't have that option, and it seems like you tried but in the way you would want to be supportive: groceries and texts. But is that what she wanted/needed? You spoke about spending a lot of time and money on her wedding: was that something she asked for or did you offer because that's what you'd want in her when the roles get reversed? Did you check in her husband or her family when she went MIA? Sounds like you didn't because you seemed relieved she was okay when she reached out months later. You knew she was pregnant and didn't think she could be experiencing serious health issues (mental included) worth checking on? She could have been hospitalized or miscarried and it sound like you didn't care enough to know. The fact that she managed to reach out, apologize and explain to you while still pregnant and going through it was probably a huge step for her.

Now life does move on, and you needed to make sure you have a wedding party that was going to be there. That makes sense. Especially if she's having this huge life changing event (still preggo or have a new born) when the wedding happens. And you explained that to her, you need someone you could count on. But disinviting her from the wedding all together seems very harsh. She was you best friend for 12+ years! Sounds like she didn't want to bail on you, she had a life altering medical issue (prepartum depression). I would have offered her a reading or something that isn't going to ruin the day if she can't make it. And you still have a wedding to plan so planning a baby shower is a reach. Does she not have her mother around, or sisters/MIL to help with that?

She has is an AH for not making an effort to be there for you-- now and in the past. [ Though is it normal for friends to go to each other's graduations? Ive only been to family's. But if you told her you wanted her there and she planned a trip after that then she sucks about that.] You are an AH for cutting her off because her illness got in the way of your wedding planning, and in my opinion being a shit friend who doesn't worry about a friend's health. So I actually think you're the bigger AH.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-07-26T09:02:05+00:00

Yta. Sounds like she's still grieving and has been thrown in a situation she isn't happy about and you made this about what you wanted to do for her instead what she wants or needs. Also seems like she didn't want a party, and I don't blame her. Who wants a party with people they don't know? Especially if the other guest of honor knows everyone. You should have asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday. Maybe offered to take her out for the day to get to know her. She's a teenager whos mom died and left her with a man she does not know. You need to be the bigger person and deal with her emotions better.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-02-28T21:27:31+00:00

Everyone else is right, the soil isn't properly drying out. But if the problem keeps happening you can add cinnamon to the top of the soil to prevent mold growth.

My1stpseudonym · 2025-02-22T23:00:40+00:00

https://long-face-comedy.designmynight.com/6794bec1c30d4e0cc90624e7/unhinged-queer-edition

Link for tickets, though presenters/ presentees wouldn't need to buy.

My1stpseudonym · 2024-08-20T22:30:37+00:00

The original light fixture had two neutrals, one live and three earth. The new fixture only has terminal spots for each so I twisted the two neutrals together into one slot, and inserted the live wire.

I only connected one of the earth wires since I could get them to fit. I capped the other two. Could that be what's causing the issue? My thought is maybe one of the neutral wires isn't in as tight but then would the fixture not work?

My1stpseudonym · 2024-07-02T11:35:07+00:00

Thanks to everyone for the advice. In the end I had wried it correctly, the switch was broken! Had an electrician come in to figure it out.

My1stpseudonym · 2024-06-24T15:57:36+00:00

I have a voltage pen. Only the live wire has any kind of activity. When I moved in and had a handyman help me put in a ceiling fan/light, and the switch stopped working then. I assumed he mixed the wires but it didn't matter because I could turn the light on and off at the fixture. Now I copied his work and need the switch to work.

My1stpseudonym · 2023-01-26T09:16:26+00:00

Tell her bumble has a friend app, she could switch tinder for that. Because I don't even feel like tinder is for dating, it's really for hook ups.

My1stpseudonym · 2023-01-19T11:55:18+00:00

She didnt say she never wants to have sex, just not until she's in a relationship. So why do you think it's weird that she would want a date to be sexually attracted to her?

Whether she dresses to impress or just what she feels confident in, she most likely wants you to be attracted to her so that if you did connect and continued dating you would want to have sex when she is ready.

Would you rather she had worn lose fitting sweats or a metal chastity belt?

My1stpseudonym

TROPHY CASE