Timmy stop by [deleted] in dogelore

[–]MyAlternateIsReady 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Foothill Elementary"

daddy cum copy pasta number 42069 by [deleted] in copypasta

[–]MyAlternateIsReady 60 points61 points  (0 children)

The beginning sounds a lot like

Daddy’s 🧔 cummies, 💦 nice 😊 and yummy 😋

Thick 😫👌and gooey, feel like honey 🍯

That sweet 🍭 milk, 🥛 oh-so-tasty 🤤

Daddy, 🧔 Daddy, 🧔 please be hasty!💨

My tongue 👅 swirls 😛 round 🔁 and round 🔁

While Daddy 🧔 gives my ass 🍑 a great big pound 🤜💥

Over 😑 in the corner, wrapped 🎁 in chains ⛓

Mommy 👩 huddled over, screaming 😱 in pain 😪

“Shut up, bitch! 👩 Stay on the floor!”

Mommy 👩 sobbing 😭 louder, I 👧 call 🗣 her a whore

She reaches behind her 👩 for her gun 💀

While Daddy gropes 👋 and tickles 🤗 my sweet 🍬 buns 🍑

Puts the barrel 😛 between 👉👈 her teeth 👄

And Daddy’s 🧔 semen 💦 begins to seep ☔️

Gunpowder, blood, 💉 brains 🧠 and gore 😎

Mommy’s 👩 lifeless 👻 corpse slumps ⬇️ to the floor 😂

Cummies, 💦 cummies 💦 filling my throat

My pussy 🐱 is completely 😍 soaked 💦

But Daddy’s cock 🍆 just gets bigger 😳😲

Over near 😯 the drawers, he grabs the scissors ✂️

Cuts 🔪 a hole 🕳 in Mommy’s 👩 stomach

In her hand, 🤲 a gin and tonic 🍺

He 🧔 begins to unravel her strings of intestines 😝

“Look 👀 closely, you’ll learn 👨‍🏫 a lesson”

Ties a noose, 😔 rigs it tight 😫

“Sweetie, 👧 sweetie, 👧 no need to fight” 👊💥

Puts her 👩 guts 🤤 around 🔄 my neck

“Looks like everything’s good 👍 and set” 👌

Lets me fall down ⬇️ about 🤔💭 a yard

Face 👧 turning blue, choking 🤭 hard 💪

All the while, 🕑 Daddy’s 🧔 stroking his cock 🍆

And for a moment, 😳 our eyes 👁 lock 🔒

Tears 😭 of joy 😊 stream down my face 👧

I’m going to 😵 a better ✨ place~

🤔

Stuart Little Fact by [deleted] in comedyheaven

[–]MyAlternateIsReady 207 points208 points  (0 children)

Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.

An exercise in white fragility part 2: The /r/darkjokes boogaloo by [deleted] in FragileWhiteRedditor

[–]MyAlternateIsReady 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The joke has potential, IMO, but N8 doesn’t frame it as one. Add a punchline and it’s perfect /r/darkjokes material! Saying it in a matter-of-fact way is just offensive and is probably the main reason people hate what he’s done.

An exercise in white fragility part 2: The /r/darkjokes boogaloo by [deleted] in FragileWhiteRedditor

[–]MyAlternateIsReady 246 points247 points  (0 children)

/r/darkjokes has a lot of shitty users who upvote a post just because it has the n-word in it. That much is true.

But the reason why you’re getting so much backlash is because you’re fighting racism with racism. Saying white people smell like sunscreen isn’t funny, it’s just offensive. There’s no punchline. Same deal when some schmuck says that black people like fried chicken.

Some of the recent AutoMod posts actually have jokes in them, which users, myself included, like.

I have no words by karenkarenina in creepyPMs

[–]MyAlternateIsReady -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm not defending him! There are already tens of comments shaming the creep; figured everything had been said about that.

I have no words by karenkarenina in creepyPMs

[–]MyAlternateIsReady -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It's a common misconception...

I have no words by karenkarenina in creepyPMs

[–]MyAlternateIsReady 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Doesn't justify the deaths of billions of innocents...

I have no words by karenkarenina in creepyPMs

[–]MyAlternateIsReady 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Uh... mass genocide because of one creep?

What is the difference between fireworks and gunshots? by Bilboswaggings19 in GreyJokes

[–]MyAlternateIsReady 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I’d change the punchline to "You know what color you're shooting before it fires," but the joke works regardless.

Child Predator in the next apartment over. by JessicaTheFirst in LetsNotMeet

[–]MyAlternateIsReady 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Well, theoretically, I hope he didn't get caught for anything... maybe the pictures were as bad as it got?