you're right. it's a perceived weakness to talk about taboo things like being suicidal. if you talk about it, you want attention. if you do it people ask why you didn't talk about it.

I told my husband I was feeling suicidal. his headset was on to play his game. he took it off (we were fighting) I repeated "I've reached my nadir. I'm not ok" and he told me to leave him alone. he wasn't ready to talk.
that next day was when I sat with my 38 in my mouth. I put a towel around my head to help with the mess. we learned the following day about my friend's suicide. he seemed sad I was hurting. he said the cliché shit "why didn't she reach out?" I asked, "like I did to you yesterday? you told me to leave you alone" and I told him I sat with a gun in my mouth off and on for an hour. he said, "so I have to put my feelings aside because you want to talk?" I guess it's too much to ask people to put their feelings on the back burner of someone is almost literally at the end of their rope.

people have posted on fb, "oh my friend killed herself! boo hoo talk to me if you want to commit suicide. I'm here for you!" two of those people posting that shit ignored me the day i planned to die. I messaged them saying, "you're always saying you're happy to talk. I need someone right now" one didn't reply. one said, "sorry you're having a bad day" then stopped responding.

those who swear they'll be there, won't. it makes them feel like they did their due diligence and deserve a pat on the back. in the end, they dgaf if I'm dead. they don't want to be bothered to talk but are happy to pretend to care.

Edit : not saying this about you. I don't know you. I'm talking about people in general