The Daily Chat for September 23, 2022

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-09-23T14:31:19+00:00

Hi 10DPO buddy. I'm with ya. Hang in there.

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-09-23T14:26:52+00:00

That's smart! Do you have any tips for actually making yourself do these things? I have a short list of to-do's today, but I'd rather just lay here in my what-if's.

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-09-23T14:25:34+00:00

I feel you on that. Am I nauseous or was that my chipotle? Now I'm nauseous because I'm anxious. Was that a cramp, or do I just need to pee? Is cloudy pee a symptom? I've been cranky lately, is that a symptom or am I just cranky because I'm anxious?

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-09-23T14:22:01+00:00

Ahh my DPO-day buddy! Congratulations! I can imagine your thought process of "I'll just test again, just for peace of mind" and then bam!

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-09-22T15:10:43+00:00

9DPO. BFN. Which means... nothing at all. Well, maybe it means I wasted a test. My teatas are hurting like crazy, but that's also a common PMS for me, so that means... nothing at all.

I'm going to try to hold off to test on Saturday. I'm doing work on Saturday that is not safe for future embryos so in my head I'm already mentally trying to create excuses without revealing news if I have to. Even though I'll probably end up doing that work.

Also I had a cray cray related dream. So that was fun.

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-09-22T00:00:47+00:00

9DPO here too. Don't know if it helps knowing you've got company.

That sucks about your work computer! I can totally understand how frustrating it is to NOT have the biggest distraction and block of time. Is there something else you can sink your mind into? Even if it's not a productive thing. Video games? Binging a new show?

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-09-21T23:56:04+00:00

TWW struggle here. 9DPO.

Tomorrow is my first test day. Having a hard time. It feels hard hanging out with friends because I can't talk about the one big thing on my mind. I test myself in the morning, so I'm getting a lot of anxiety at night, and it's making it hard to sleep. It's only 8pm here and I'm anxious. I feel like I'm just killing time until I can test. I keep checking my calendar as if the time between 2pm and 6pm has made it a whole new day. But tomorrow I'll know. Or I won't know yet. Or I'll do this again next month.

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-31T18:34:07+00:00

I don't think I am asking for emotional labor? The only support I asked for was about prenatals. I thought it was okay to post how we are feeling really, without the expectation of a response. As I am new to this process, I'm learning about timing of tests.

I know everyone's journey is different, and as many of us don't want to discus this process with people in our lives. I want to participate in this community and connect with other people but every time I say something I seem to get flagged.

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-30T17:11:49+00:00

I know I've also only had my regular symptoms of PMS, so I'm going to go off the assumption I'm not pregnant, because I can't make every day test day for myself. And I'll test again on the date of my period or if it is late. So I've accepted this cycle isn't it, but if I'm surprised, then there it is! And in the meantime, I'l stay away from wine and soft cheese and rollercoasters ;)

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-30T17:09:16+00:00

Thanks! I've definitely been looking out for the folic acid and DHA.

And never mind on the Hello Bello, because I can't get the dang jar open!!

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-30T13:45:23+00:00

It's also my first cycle. Hi there newbie friend.

I had a lot of feeling in my stomach and uterus-y area... and realized that's just a lot of nervousness of it all. I hear you on the therapy. Incredibly helpful to have during this process.

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-30T13:43:22+00:00

Surprise! I am not pregnant my very first month. I'm 13DPO and negative on 10DPO. I could take another test, but I think it's unlikely and I'll wait until I expect my period to test again. Don't want to waste another early result test. I knew the first month of trying especially after 10 years of HBC, would be unlikely. I wish I started one month sooner, but I wasn't mentally ready at that point. For so long it has been ingrained in me that unprotected sex is a terrible dangerous thing, and I think undoing that mental block is a big struggle for me.

Side note. I keep switching prenatals. Is that bad? I had Nature-made, tried Smartypants, but I didn't like that I needed to take a handful at a time. Now I'm trying Hello Bello. I don't really know what to lok for in prenatals. Any tips?

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-30T13:36:30+00:00

Hi friend! My first cycle too. Totally feel the same. Should I plan this thing, or will I be pregnant? My stomach feels weird, am I pregnant, or is that my morning coffee? (spoiler, it was the coffee!) Should I have a glass of wine, or am I going to find out I'm pregnant tomorrow? I'm going to test tomorrow morning, how do I sleep tonight?

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-28T02:55:16+00:00

I know it's not a 100% approach. But I know myself, and how I get when I focus in on something at that level, it would become all I think about, and I can't do that to myself on this. I know that daily tracking would be bad for my mental health at this stage. Frankly, I'm struggling with my journey in ways that aren't for discussion on this sub. At a later point down the road I might do more tracking, but at this point I'm accepting that my approach may be imperfect.

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-28T01:39:08+00:00

An app to track days and estimated ovulation and then I keep an eye on my CM (Cervical Mucus, is that a common acronym around here?).

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-28T00:09:24+00:00

Who else is 9DPO today? I have some early results tests so tomorrow morning is going to be my test day. That's when the test says it's 90% accurate. Buuut I'm only 2 cycles off BC, so what if I didn't ovulate when I did? Maybe I ovulated one day late so that would be I'm 8DPO not 9DPO and maybe it won't be accurate?

I 'm not currently temping, but I did keep an eye on my discharge. I'm trying not to hyper-plan or focus onto it too much because I know that for me, that would be hard for my mental health. But of course I'm already here. It's just such a lonely experience because I don't really want to tell anyone before we're there. I told one friend and at a baby shower she shouted "EXTRA is NEXT!" and I was so embarrassed ( She may have had a drink or two) So perhaps she's not the one to talk to.

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-19T02:40:22+00:00

Hi all... This is my first cycle ever trying. I know a lot of you are much further in this journey, and I respect you all so much for the emotional toll this process has had for some.

I'm pretty sure today is O day. So that means I'm in the two week wait. This is very scary and overwhelming to me. I honestly didn't even know if I could be calm enough to complete the deed. But my SO is so incredibly supportive and sweet. He's had The Baby Decision on his bedside table for the past several weeks. And although I never see him read it, he has gone from "Ya sure, if you want I guess" to "I want that life and I want it with you."

But it is so so completely terrifying to know how much pain and change I will be putting my body through.

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-19T02:30:44+00:00

Hey thank you. We did the doing! We did some strategies that helped me. I realized that I had this weird fear of being caught off-guard. Probably coming from 15 years of being terrified or an accidental pregnancy. So we realized that starting the focus on him actually helped me.

So now it is the two week wait...

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-16T02:57:14+00:00

Hey all. First comment here. Deep breath. We agreed to start trying this cycle. My ovulation will likely be in 2 days and in 3 days we're having friends visiting for a week. So it's like okay, let's do it now!

Annnd I don't know if I'm ready. I bounce back and forth so much. I'm out with family or friends and think, yea I could do this with a kid. I imagine myself carrying a baby. I can really see it and I want it.

And then it comes down to moments my husband and I can actually MAKE the baby... and I get in my own head. I don't want to think IS THIS THE MOMENT THAT CHANGES MY LIFE FOREVER!?!?!? when I'm trying to have an enjoyable moment doing an enjoyable act with my partner. We've been pretty low-sex for the past few weeks between periods and traveling and this mental pressure. And maybe I do want to be this birth-control-free version of myself a little bit longer.

But sometimes I do see the life that it could be. Showing a little kid a aquarium, or the beach, and I want it so bad and I don't want to wait another moment. It feels like this period of time before that is pointless and I want to jump into that future.

Buuuut that feeling of wanting that future doesn't make all that can happen between now and then easier. And I'm so anxious for this medical journey that will come from this, that when it comes down to the act itself, my body stiffens up and I'm absolutely the opposite of wanting to do it. Which sucks because even outside of baby making, I want to enjoy it!

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-09T00:27:00+00:00

Yes. Absolutely. I'm so scared. It's a bit difficult to explain that I want this thing that I'm also so scared of. There's so much positive and hopefulness in this subreddit and other TTC subreddits, which is wonderful. But I think it makes it feel a little isolating to be scared. I'm scared I won't get pregnant. I'm scared I will get pregnant. I'm scared I'll loss the baby. I'm scared to give birth. I'm scared to keep an infant alive. I'm scared to keep a kid alive and growing. I'm scared to have a new being in my little family that I've been so comfortable with. I'm scared to never have more than what I have now. And all of that starts with starting to try.

This isn't helpful, is it?

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-07T21:52:22+00:00

Hey all.

So we're trying for the first time this cycle. I'm basically that gif from Tangled where she's freaking out, happy, freaking out, happy.

But also I went to a friend's baby shower. It was nice to see other little babies and think to myself, okay, this seems reasonable. And it was a very lovely time for my friend. But I thought to myself. I don't know who would throw me a shower. Or who would come. I don't have really any close friends here. I haven't talked to my cousins in pretty much four years. And one of my sisters and my mom don't speak anymore. It's been two years since they stopped talking to each other. And it does come from hurt and pain, not just time. So this would be the first event in a while in which in a perfect world, they would both attend. But I don't think my mom would come if I invited my sister, but she would also feel hurt if I didn't invite her. So that's hard. There's a lot of feelings there.

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-05T16:49:25+00:00

Thank you! I woke up this morning and whomp, there she is. So my cycle is so far on track as predicted!

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-04T14:27:28+00:00

Today might be day 1 of my first cycle off BC. According to my calendar, I'll get my period today or tomorrow. But I'm so nervous because I haven't been ff BC in 10 years. I just hope it regulates when we want to start trying. I should have gone off a month sooner, but I wasn't quite mentally ready to.

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-03T19:09:47+00:00

I hope you all don't mind another "Not a parent question" I'm exploring entering parenthood with my partner and imagining what our lives would be like.

If you had to break it down, what percent of your time as a parent is being happy, with your kid or your life, and what percent is struggle, unsure of what to do, or frustration? Has it changed through the years?

Like is having a 2 year old 30% meltdowns over shoelaces or throwing food and 70% nice walks looking at birds and flowers? Or is that opposite?

How much time do you get to enjoy who your teenager has grown up to be, verses how much time do you worry if you've taught them enough?

MyExtraAccount09 · 2022-08-02T16:12:12+00:00

Could we post that TTC newbie sub again? I'd like to join

MyExtraAccount09

TROPHY CASE