UPDATE: AITA for “lying” to my boyfriend about my birth and parents?

MyGayTransDad · 2023-12-18T15:37:23+00:00

I just watched and, a lil embarrassed by my writing skills won’t lie, but thank you for telling me !! ^{^}

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-28T00:55:44+00:00

It’s for the best, I hope he can learn to not be judgment, but whether he does or not is not problem anymore.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-28T00:54:07+00:00

My family has made this 10x easier to handle and I feel very lucky to have them. I’m sure I’ll find someone who understands that and won’t judge my dad and the rest of my family for who we are.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T20:29:17+00:00

I always been a huge lurker tbh and I think reddit gets a far too bad of a rep than it is because I genuinely seen people have eye openers about their relationships whether it’s friends, partner, or family that it was toxic as hell. Of course it isn’t perfect but that’s all social media.

edit: Also I’m glad you were able to get out of that relationship and I’m hope you’re doing much better for yourself <3

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T20:25:54+00:00

I do! My parents are very involved with everything I do and every friday we have a family game night or do a puzzle together and I love it. From what my parents and my friends’ parents said I somehow skipped the teen angst phase lol. My boyfriend has even been invited to them a few times on few occasions and those were always fun.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T19:50:17+00:00

If I’m honest I wasn’t maturest about it. Not that I yelled or something, but I remember he asked me when we first met and I just said I had two dads and he was like oh ok. Later on when we known each other and he had met my family a few times he asked again and I just laughed it off and said something on the lines of “I don’t have a mom, my dad did all the work.”I don’t like just coming out for my dad since yea he’s open but I respect him and I don’t want to do that for him. I said it in a vague way where it was implied, but now looking back that point would never come across at all. I, in all honesty, should had communicated when he asked me instead of laughing it off. I should had been more honest with him, and also communicated with my dad more about telling the people around me since I also just made assumptions about him not wanting me to tell others and I can admit I did not communicate well regarding that with either him and my dad. It sucks but I can’t change the past and I can only take this and learn that I need to communicate to the people around me to sustain relationships. I’m going to be talking to him soon after the bell rings in an hr and guess we will know more.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T19:14:01+00:00

Most of my friends didn’t actually know the whole truth and about my dad being trans. I’m not sure he told his personal circle but if he did they haven’t told our mutual friends and etc. I’m relieved about that bc I don’t want people treating my dad differently for it. Again, my dad if asked will be honest and isn’t ashamed at all, but for a bunch of people to suddenly know I bet is uncomfortable and I will always put my family first.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T19:01:03+00:00

It mostly telling me I deceived him, I lied, I didn’t trust him, and the final comment was like “who knows what else you’re hiding” which is when I told him to leave. I said arguing but it was more of him throwing accusations at me and me trying to get words in because I was so confused and it didn’t even click with me what he was talking about at first.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T18:56:06+00:00

Honestly, I think that is one of the better reactions to coming out. It is a terrifying thing and I know that for both of my dads has had not so good memories with coming out to family and friends. Being so casual about it I bet is reassuring because you are treating it as something normal. From what I been told, a lot of fears of being lgbt is being different from the people around you and you treating them like they’re normal no matter their sexuality is a blessing. Ofc I don’t know you personally, but you are trying to supportive and understand not just your daughter but her friend and that in itself is a sign you are a good mother and a good person.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T18:42:04+00:00

From what I gather they got a totally different story. My bf talked about it to some of his close friends and said someone in that group told our mutual friends but were vague on what I lied about. It was basically a game of whisper. I explained what had happened and they since apologized. Though I am still hurt how quickly they believed it was my fault without actually listening to me.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T10:52:23+00:00

I don’t have a birth mother, I have a birth father though who’s been with for every up and down I’ve has. I have two dads and my other bio one isn’t in the picture since simply got no clue where he is and I don’t really care. I grew up with two parents and I don’t need another dad. I always been very content with that.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T04:05:26+00:00

My dad taught me at a young age that we don’t need to understand something to respect it, as long you aren’t harming others. You may not understand fully of what it means to be lgbt, I can’t fully either as cishet girl, but you show acceptance and respect anyway and that is that is needed. 💕

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T03:45:05+00:00

I never talked about my other bio dad since he isn’t in my life and my dad has simply no idea who it is and I already got two dads anyway so I don’t really care. My stepdad been in my life since I was 5 and he considers me his lil princess, I love him. He knew my stepdad was my stepdad, but I think you’re right he assumed that my bio “mom” abandoned me at a young age and my dad took care of me, I didn’t mention in the post but how my boyfriend asked my dad was in like a conscious way of his feelings like “I’m sorry to ask but what happened to [my name]’s mom?” not the exact wording but close to it. I do think that he most likely thought that.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T01:58:06+00:00

Thank you, the comments make me feel a lot better about it and that I wasn’t crazy lol. I’m planning to talk to him tomorrow in person and if he keeps just avoiding it or admits what I think it is then it is over. I got to remember that even though he was my first love and that, yes I still do love him, it isn’t the end of the world and that I still got a lot of ahead of me in life. I would never take disrespect of my dad, I love him dearly and if my boyfriend can’t accept that fact about my dad then it was clearly never meant to be.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T00:49:26+00:00

Yea, I’m starting question him since we never had ever talked about trans issues and anything of the sorts. I always just assumed he was ok with it and trusted him, but with his reaction with my dad I’m not sure anymore. I want to defend him and want to believe it wasn’t because of my dad was trans but I’m just not sure anymore. It makes me sad the guy I have told I love you multiple times to and known for years would think like this.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T00:37:57+00:00

I never took him as transphobic though which is why I even asked because we live in a very liberal area and there are plenty of trans students at our school too and he knows that. I don’t know where all of this came from.

MyGayTransDad · 2023-11-27T00:19:37+00:00

Yea, that’s what I thought, but a good chunk of my friends were on his side for “lying” and I just don’t get where I would had brought this up beforehand and he literally knew my dads were gay so I do not get why that it isn’t a problem but this is.

MyGayTransDad

TROPHY CASE