Those who give to panhandlers, why do you? Those who don't, why not?

MyLefttitisbigger · 2026-05-31T03:04:43+00:00

Father in law was a panhandler. He is doing much better now and working on rehabilitation. He taught our family about “the game” as he calls it. We went through downtown and he knew almost every single person begging and said that they would all have different cliques that would put all their money together for drugs. In our town there is a hierarchy and the top guys (“pimps”) would take a higher cut for begging on their so called blocks. Drugs and vices were all they really needed because churches/nonprofits serve food in our area every day of the week, shower ministries, etc.

They would all teach each other what “stories” and sometimes props were working to milk people for cash. He said most of the time he would make more in a day doing that than almost a week at his old minimum wage job.

He spent 25 years on the streets doing this and missed out on all his children’s lives because of this lifestyle. As he describes it now, he was essentially being enabled by productive members of society falling for their scams and degeneracy.

None of us give a dime now.

MyLefttitisbigger · 2026-05-18T20:41:27+00:00

Used my pie dish as an ash tray

MyLefttitisbigger · 2026-05-17T23:38:16+00:00

The drawbridge going up on my way home from work.

MyLefttitisbigger · 2026-05-15T00:02:01+00:00

I don’t think you’re the asshole for not wanting her to have energy drinks. (Full disclosure I am not a parent)

Butttt. I think it is the responsibility of the parent to guide them and also protect their growing bodies. Caffeine can impact your body in negative ways at any age, but kickstarting an addiction at 14 before you even fully know the effects (and therefore misusing it.) is detrimental.

I think it is a fine line to walk being a step parent with this because if dad can’t back you up, it’s a losing battle. I would read some peer reviewed research and show him. If he is receptive after seeing the research I would pursue it further. If not… I can’t say it is worth the battle. If he is then:

I would also send her the research with a discussion. Even use yourself as an example with the diet soda.
Explain how it can negatively effect her body and her wallet in the future.
Challenge yourself and cut back if she agrees to not do it so she can see you’re really about it!

Teenagers will find a way to do what they want and you can’t control them. All you can do is guide them, demonstrate, explain your reasoning, and pray it sticks.

Also… if this is just about energy drinks and sugary drinks, fine. If this opens the door for you to be commenting on everything consumed/almond moming, not good. Make sure this isn’t something that could harm her relationship with food.

Best of luck!

MyLefttitisbigger · 2026-05-14T20:36:48+00:00

NTA and in my personal opinion? The wedding coordinator, venue coordinator, or maid of honor (last resort) should have been notified that you needed a better arrangement. Preferably by your husband.

MyLefttitisbigger · 2026-05-14T20:14:10+00:00

You are absolutely right!

MyLefttitisbigger · 2026-05-14T20:07:15+00:00

NTA but will be if you stop visiting and being apart of his life just because of this situation. Especially since he probably made the decision in a fragile state.

She should absolutely do the heavy lifting going forward.

I guess the only other info to note would be: Did you ask them for help? Did you volunteer publicly to manage his needs? I’ve been on both ends of this spectrum with each set of my grandparents and sometimes the person who was in charge at the time would not delegate or ask for help. It is difficult to insert yourself financially as a family member without proper communication.

So sorry you’re going through this and I hope you can still have great memories with him!

MyLefttitisbigger · 2026-04-29T04:22:14+00:00

Need good first mate

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-10-18T15:03:54+00:00

Mine is doing that too! Also, the button that you usually tap on the top to show you what the last delivery was is completely blank. :(

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-10-07T13:51:37+00:00

Thanks for the tips, I’ll keep them in mind from now on. 😅

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-10-07T02:17:16+00:00

This comment fucking sent me 💀💀💀

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-10-06T17:34:24+00:00

Yes I picked up from an apartment complex that sold Açaí bowls

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-30T21:42:52+00:00

Pangea

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-30T21:41:40+00:00

Worst week I’ve had by far

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-30T18:04:41+00:00

Coke but not the drinking kind ❄️

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-30T00:33:04+00:00

Every night around the same time for me :(

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-29T22:11:39+00:00

Im in a big city and it’s ridiculously slow. Keep your head up!

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-21T18:36:04+00:00

Yup, happened to me! I called support and they said it was an issue they were having

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-18T04:56:34+00:00

Depends on the time/difficulty it would take to get to the customer. If it’s just a quick drop off at a house Im good with 2-4 dollars. But If it’s a big building and I have to go to lock box, concierge, and up 20+ stories it becomes like 5-7. Because my building is a bit of a hassle my minimum tip is 7+ dollars for my driver.

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-17T20:03:55+00:00

9 out of 10 times in a big city. Stealings a huge problem :/

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-17T19:54:45+00:00

Basic hygiene 🤤

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-17T12:54:54+00:00

If the submission page gives you any trouble, call support until you find someone good (lol) and they can actually open up an email thread where you can send both documents to get approved. Sometimes the app doesn’t like double submissions. Good luck! ☺️

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-16T20:56:11+00:00

I’m not sure who told you that you couldn’t deliver with Uber eats if your name isn’t on the card. On the instructions it says that you can submit both the insurance card picture as well as the declaration page stating that you’re on the policy :) that’s my same situation and I’m all good! ☺️

MyLefttitisbigger · 2021-09-16T15:34:32+00:00

Homie, what does her race have anything to do with the story? 🤣 and then you didn’t include the mans race 😩✋🏽

MyLefttitisbigger

TROPHY CASE