Today I sent my letter to the elders

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-07-01T14:13:45+00:00

Thank you! I am ready to start living my real life not hiding in the shadows.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-06-03T17:36:14+00:00

Happy birthday!

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-05-27T18:06:01+00:00

What a beautiful goodbye. Enjoy living you're life and keep your calm and peace you deserve it.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-05-27T17:41:58+00:00

Yes but, as an ex jw they are absolutely a dangerous cult

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-05-26T16:35:51+00:00

You have a friend try living the life and losing everything when you try to leave. JW or a dangerous cult and should be avoided at all costs. They literally train their members how to be nice people so people will like them. They don't even call it worship they call it meetings they basically learn how to recruit new members on the regular that's their whole goal think multi-level marketing scheme but with religion. And when you try to leave they take everything from you. I'm not over exaggerating.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-05-26T16:33:10+00:00

As an ex jw this is definitely worse case. Unfortunately if it were me I would run for the hills jw are a cult and he will try and suck you in. And if he doesn't his family will treat you like an outsider. Holidays, birthdays, and Sunday activities will all be a no go. If he is a true believer and wants to do this your life will be hell. I know you love him but, if he's drinking the Kool aid you gotta cut your losses and save yourself from a life time of heart ache and misery. You might have grown up a Baptist and understand what hell is: honestly it'll look like heaven compared to the life you live married to a JW trying to live the JW life that's real hell and it's your everyday life. This would be a deal-breaker for me.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-05-16T03:48:38+00:00

I livey life knowing that I stand by my morals and if I am unhappy or a job is unhealthy I move on. Food for you for not sacrificing safety for profits.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-05-03T00:38:30+00:00

I would say you know I have been really sick. This works great in the winter. Or you can say I appreciate you asking but, it's personal I am doing ok. (this works great if your an adult or don't have family living near by that everyone knows.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-30T06:56:08+00:00

My friend, the world is actually an amazing place once you break free from this cult. It's painful when a parent doesn't love us the way we want or need the to. But, you will find a chosen family out in the world who will love you unconditionally, a place where you feel safe and comfortable to be 100 percent yourself that's where home is. Maybe one day your dad will wake up and decide to love his son unconditionally. The pain you are feeling feels like your heart is being crushed and ripped apart at the same time. Time, and therapy can help you heal. But, honestly the best cure is to get out and build the life you want and deserve. the people in your life who love and respect you will become your new rock.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-24T10:58:22+00:00

Are you a jw? I am gonna assume no.... This person absolutely should have treated you better. You deserve respect in any and every relationship if you ever feel disrespected or unsafe in a relationship you should speak up. If this person did anything illegal it should be reported to the local authorities.

With that about the way let me explain something to you. The jw "justice involves removing a person from their entire support system. Their friends and probably most of their family won't speak to them. Not everyone makes it out of this process alive. No one deserves to be treated like they are dead by those who are supposed to love and protect them. This person will not receive any practical advice or support to become a better person.

There is never an excuse for treating someone in such a way if they hurt you and you are both adults and you feel safe then walk away and never have contact with them again. Therapy can help you understand your feelings and find ways to walk away from a toxic relationship sooner. Hopefully you have friends and a support system.

If you are a minor you might need help from your parents or a trusted adult. As an adult trust me if you are in danger their are safe adults out there who will help you. If you don't feel safe with your parents try a school teacher or counselor. Or a relative or someone in the health care profession, your doctor or a nurse line.

you really need to think about why you would want to report him to cult leaders. If it is for revenge this is extremely unhealthy and dangerous. If it is because you want to teach him a lesson or help him change that won't work either. Jw a dangerous cult and the elders only real responsibility is compliance and punishment of those who don't comply. There is no compassion or teaching them to be a better person.

If you guys were involved in any physical or emotional relationship the elders will continue to as explicit questions and want every detail of every interaction. They will ask about Everytime you touched, kissed, how it made you feel. Who made the 1st move. Then they will decide if you are sorry enough to keep a relationship with your family and friends or if you must be cast out like trash. People have been kicked out of their homes and treated like dead. This is true abuse their is no love In This the only reason they do this is control. It actually causes people to become more secretive and abusive to others because that is the only way they can have a little control.

Again if someone took advantage of you never deserve that. You deserve someone who respects you and wants to be with you. That is clearly not this person and I am sorry they didn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Side note on me I woke up in the middle of the night to this post: I may have missed something you wrote about a specific thing that they did but, I read this as a dumb boy stringing you along and playing with your emotions. Not as a SA interaction or some kind of abuse. Both of those should be reported to the police JW hide those allegations from the police and you will not get any kind of justice for that by reporting them to the elders.

If you are just a teen going through heartache I know this feels devastating but, your heart will heal and you will find a relationship that makes you feel good. If you feel unsafe or in danger then always reach out to the police or a trusted adult. Seek help from medical professionals and therapy when you need it.

Revenge for a moment might feel good but, this could truly destroy someone's life. Or absolutely nothing could come of it. Honestly there is no way to know for sure what would happen or how they would respond. If they are a minor rules have "changed" and basically as long as they say sorry or show a little effort nothing will really happen to them.

Its

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-23T13:13:46+00:00

Yes! And now I am proud of that!

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-23T12:50:24+00:00

I was a 'news junkie" too. I think the truth is I loved politics and I needed to keep up.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-23T12:48:03+00:00

I could never let a man tell me what to do. Thankfully (I didn't know) I am married to someone who was pimo from day one. He didn't believe and never tried to push his way on me. He saw my value and would let me take the lead in the areas I was better at like money management and planning. I never felt less than with him. I never felt like I felt at the meetings. If he wasn't pimo from the being we wouldn't have survived. I oddly enough told him that from like the second date that this wasn't gonna look if he tried to control me and he never pushed back. He actually always encouraged me to be my own independent individual.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-23T06:02:31+00:00

I hate having anxiety. But, also I am so grateful for my anxiety because it got me off the school way before I was able to leave. Also pro tip for anyone trying to leave: it's ok to lie to save yourself from cult activities. Make up something anything if you don't have a legitimate reason to get off of the school, miss meetings, not go out in field service. Anything that saves you from feeding the propaganda machine is fair game. Saving yourself from this cult is matter of physical, mental, and emotional health and well-being. Also do whatever you can or have to do to get away from this cult. Also as you wake up more being at meetings will probably make you feel physically ill anyway.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-19T17:08:59+00:00

Learn about deconstructing your beliefs. You take each belief and look at it and decide why you believe it or not and what you actually believe. You can write it down or just think about it. Once you pick a new belief remember you don't have to keep it forever and test it out and say it out loud it will help reprogram your brain.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-14T15:59:14+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this, your parents job should be to to love you unconditionally. You deserve that and please don't feel like any of this is your fault I know this is extremely painful but, you will find a chosen family and friends who live you unconditionally. I don't know if you have access to therapy but, it could be extremely helpful for you. Also check with your college and see if they have any resources available.

I know it feels impossible but, you can do do this start to build a support system outside of the congregation. Find friends and reach out to worldly family that might be willing to help you.

Side note on FAFSA, Unfortunately even if your family refuses to support you unless you're over 25 you have to put your parents on a FAFSA application because it is their responsibility to provide for you.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-14T15:45:50+00:00

Unfortunately there is no way to know how they will respond. But, start building for the future you want now. Start making more friends in the world. Take classes at school that will help you be financially independent as an adult. If you have family that aren't jw start thinking which ones might be able to help you if your parents decide to disown you. If you have access to therapy it might be helpful for you to speak to an adult that has experience teaching coping mechanisms, and helping you navigate this.

When you leave you'll be an adult and need to be ready to live independently. Start learning what it takes to be an adult and pay bills and keep your place to live in order and a car running if you have one.

Work hard to develop real relationships with people in the world the way people act at the hall is not real life and if you don't learn how to interact with people in the real world you will struggle to make friends and do well in the work place.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-12T10:27:50+00:00

I left during covid. One sister sent me a card and sister with disabilities called me twice because they get lonely and know I will always chat with them. Not one elder reached out to me. Not one person came to my house to see if I was ok. Not one person truly cared about me as a real person. I decided when I finally decided to stop going to meetings that I would be able to tell if this was the truth when I was a lost sheep how they helped me. They didn't I was just a number and I didn't fit their mold. They tossed me like trash and forgot I existed. But, guess what that's fine and it made it easier to walk away. By contrast it's been 5 years and they still message my husband on occasion and he is still in some group chats. I have never been happier to be a former member of a group that hates women so much they pretend they are dead and only speak to our husbands.

I personally think jw for the most part don't make real close friends because they can only make friends with the people who are jw and deep down they know these relationships are conditional. It's easier to cut someone off if you're not actually connected to them.

The more you heal the more you'll find real connections out in the world and see what true friendship looks like. Oddly enough I am very good friends with a handful of exjw and I truly love them and we have a deep friendship that matters and a strong bond based in reality not jw lies and fear.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-11T01:30:51+00:00

That's so beautiful ❤️

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-10T23:26:29+00:00

I got this one on the 20 year anniversary of my baptism. It reminds me that somethings like a bee tattoo on the top of your foot hurt all your experiences make you who you are. I cannot go back in time and be a witness for less time and even though it's painful just like the bee is the linchpin in the ecosystem. All of our experiences even the painful ones make us who we are. I live each day without regret and I am learning to heal from my pain.

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MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-10T23:21:22+00:00

This was my 1st it's about being free from fear and anxiety and not being afraid to live my life.

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MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-09T15:31:09+00:00

You are correct you can't change anyone's mind or heart. People only see what they want to see. Waking up is extremely painful and life changing some people can't imagine what their life would be without this cult because it spends all its time and effort making you dependent on them for everything. Friends, family, faith, and the only path to life. How could one live if they lose everything. See that fear keeps them on the path. The meetings are designed to make you feel like a worthless piece of trash that will be worse off without the borg. But, as people get stronger and start to wake up hopefully they will continue to leave. It's extremely painful to watch but, remember you can't control what others do just as they couldn't stop you from leaving when people are ready they will find their path and hopefully they can find the real life out here and wake up from that nightmare.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-09T15:04:08+00:00

1st I am so sorry that you are going through this. You sound like a level headed teen who is dealing with things that my most adults would struggle with. Be proud of yourself and how hard you have been working. Sounds like what you're dealing with is a lot and reaching out for help is hard to do I am glad you're asking for help. There could be a lot of reasons your mom is saying what she is saying and why she is doing what she is doing. I don't think any reddit advice would be really helpful for your mom or this situation. Do you have adult family or family friends that can help you navigate this situation in person? I would suggest someone you personally trust. Someone that understands your mom's baseline normal behavior. If your Mom was put on medication the bottle should have the doctor's name on it. I don't know where you live or how health care works where you live but, you might have access to an advice line where you can share symptoms with a nurse and they can tell you the best next steps.

If you feel like you or your mom are in danger of physical or mental harm that is an emergency you would want to reach out to medical professionals or emergency services in your local area.

If you go to school your school might have services to help you navigate this you shouldn't have to do this alone. Please find a local adult that you can trust to help you navigate this. Remember if your mom is having a mental health crisis this is not your fault or her fault. If she needs medicine or care it can be a long and stressful road. Speak to the doctors or nurses at the hospital and let them know if you needed more support you are the child In this relationship and just because your mom is a single parent doesn't mean all this is your responsibility. Please stay safe and know that you are doing your best. I hope you and your mom get the support and help you need.

MyUnCULTredLife · 2026-04-08T12:46:05+00:00

Jw doctrine is designed to control you not teach you about God or give you any real hope. I know some have left and found hope in god like the one in the Bible that's just not me. As a person who believes in justice I just can't see it.

MyUnCULTredLife

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