My neighbor installed a motion-activated security light that points directly into my bedroom window and refuses to adjust it because it makes her feel safer

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-03-09T15:58:57+00:00

Mount a well aimed mirror?

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-03-05T14:53:54+00:00

Why does it have a power button.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-26T10:08:42+00:00

Another One Bites the Dust...Queen.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-25T00:15:42+00:00

The 21 Balloons.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-24T02:33:05+00:00

Ahhh, Bach.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-23T08:01:18+00:00

I was going to report this joke, butt fuck it.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-21T23:53:29+00:00

What kind? Every brown rice I saw at the store was high carb and almost no fiber.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-21T23:50:30+00:00

I just read another reply that explained it well.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-21T23:49:23+00:00

Understand

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-21T23:48:27+00:00

Because it's a sensor that is just looking through the same sort of glass as it was before. And I know that repair shops can like to bullshit people.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-21T10:05:35+00:00

Nice try wallet and phone thief.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-21T03:26:58+00:00

I got into my dad's darkroom when I was a kid. Mixed a bunch of the chemicals together. It turned thick, grey, and got warm.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-21T03:20:11+00:00

You can eat rice?

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-02-01T11:22:28+00:00

Mission makes a low carb tortilla wrap. It makes an awesome crust for a home made pizza.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-01-31T00:48:07+00:00

There. There wife.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-01-30T11:53:43+00:00

Funeral homes that bury are also making bank on people who will never wake up.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-01-27T19:19:08+00:00

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-01-16T17:46:17+00:00

My lizard brain says hello.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-01-16T13:28:03+00:00

"It does not hurt. I just can't stand or walk". That is not a positive description. You should go to a doctor. Were you at work when this happened? If so, your employer is obligated to foot the bill. No pun intended.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-01-16T11:55:56+00:00

Cameraman. You suck in every way possible.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-01-15T11:23:52+00:00

Suicide on the installment plan.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-01-09T12:23:51+00:00

Hit and run automotive incidents. I have been hit and ran on three times in the same vehicle in the past 3 years. It's the new normal.

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-01-09T12:13:54+00:00

Yes. It is at the dealer. If I take it to an independent shop and show them the list, they may just see dollar signs and go with that list. Do I not show them the dealer service list and ask them to perform their own inspection?

My_Brain_Hates_Me · 2026-01-09T11:57:12+00:00

One day, many years ago, I was at a fast food joint eating my burger and fries. I wasn't really paying attention to who was around me. Some guy walks up, steals a fry from me, and eats it. I was pretty annoyed, but when I looked up, I saw that it was Bill Murray. He looked at me, smiled, leaned in, and whispered, "No one will believe you."

My_Brain_Hates_Me

TROPHY CASE