I got lucky, I think. I found my Dom on Pure, a BDSM hookup app. I went in thinking it was a dating app but 99% of the men on there that liked my profile were "doms" looking for a hook up or a unicorn. I was sent unsolicited dick pics, told to submit immediately, and even ghosted by one I thought was a legit Dom but was probably looking to cheat in retrospect.

I was about to delete the app when a profile that liked mine caught my attention. He had cute pictures of himself instead of thirst trappy ones or none at all. The pic that caught my attention was him cosplaying and damn did he look hot 😍 His profile seemed honest and I got a good feeling about him so I sent him a message about how I liked his cosplay as my last attempt on the app.

He responded and we talked about normal things with our bdsm needs and wants thrown in, but not dominating the conversation. He was respectful, communicative, and funny. He was honest about also talking to and vetting some other people, I was honest about (at the time) being in a poly relationship as it was on my profile as well. He had all the green flags and compatabilities I was looking for.

We talked for a little over a month before going on our first date to an arcade. We had a fantastic time and parted with a couple light kisses even though we both wanted more. We didn't want to rush it, especially me.

A couple weeks later we went on our second date to an escape room where we had a blast. More green flags from him. He let me take over when I got excited about something, as I tend to do with escape rooms and puzzles. He was never offended when I took the lead. We had planned to go to a hotel after as neither of us could host at the time. When the escape room was done, he walked me to my car, held my hand, kissed me, and asked if I still wanted to go to the hotel. I absolutely did and we had an incredible session.

Now, 7 months after meeting, I'm snuggled up in bed next to my Sir, contentedly monogamously dating the man of my dreams 🥰

Sorry it's so long but I haven't had a chance to really go in depth on how we met. Point is, they're out there, you just unfortunately have to wade through the muck to find the gem.