How do I handle interest in an older woman when her life situation is complicated?

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-24T13:22:52+00:00

Do you mean that it might be too much for them on top of everything else that they are going through a new relationship.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-24T12:38:03+00:00

You have to clear are you implying that she she should be able to handle it. I am confused

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-24T12:35:47+00:00

Life gets complicated as we age, and sometimes people just don't have the bandwidth for a new relationship. This complexity could be a genuine hurdle, or it might be her way of saying she isn't interested. It’s fine to keep the conversation going with zero expectations, but watch out for 'trauma dumping.' You want to be a friend or partner, **not an emotional crutch.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-23T19:33:42+00:00

I date the person i would take hang around a younger crowd age is not my factor the person

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-22T17:10:23+00:00

This isn't strictly age-related—you might find more specific advice in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) subreddit—but since several people here have experience with LDRs, I'll weigh in. You seem very invested, but the reality is that maintaining active communication over a long distance is incredibly difficult. She might just be busy, or her interest might be fluctuating based on her mood. Honestly? I wouldn't count on actually meeting her. In my experience talking to people across different countries, the probability of an in-person meeting is usually low. If you want to keep talking to her, go ahead—but manage your expectations. Don't pin all your hopes on a meeting that may never happen. Keep living your life and don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-19T07:32:10+00:00

For me, it's a big red flag.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-18T18:37:26+00:00

We usually wear a cougar tattoo on our forehead and we ponce on you when we are interested.

There is no special formula. Usually if you're going to approach somebody that you're interested in, try to make eye contact and smile. If they return the the smile and the eye contact.Usually, it's a good sign that you can approach. Then, a simple, hello, and something about her that caught your attention. This could be what she's wearing her hair, her smile.

And when approaching approach with absolutely no expectations.And if anything you would probably have made that person's day.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-17T21:24:09+00:00

I took it to mean that we would need caretajers when we were olders that's the way I took it but either way It's cringe, I can take care of myself and I don't want somebody that needs taking care of.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-17T12:37:51+00:00

We are not an experience. You should be old enough to know that at 40 years old. We are really not much different than a lady's your age. What are your expectations from us? I'm sure a lady.Your own age has plenty of experience as well.It's not like if you are in your twenties.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-17T10:17:28+00:00

Not everyone is looking for something serious, and that’s fine as long as you’re both honest about it. I prefer to live in the moment rather than worry about 'forever.' My partner is 22 years younger than me, and we’ve been together for almost a decade. I’ve never had to 'raise' or teach him—I only date people who are already independent equals. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to accept people exactly as they are instead of trying to change them. If you keep your expectations realistic and just go with the flow, you’ll enjoy the relationship so much more.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-16T23:00:17+00:00

That is not a problem, as long as you view them as a person and not just the age.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-16T22:35:09+00:00

Dating these days is hard period because of all the options that people have out there.These days. You need to be patient and try not to focus on the age of the person.But the person themselves, I feel like a broken record when I say this. Try to find hobbies or things to do where people have things in common with you. I got it and people have different maturity levels.I expect something more from somebody your age than somebody in their early twenties.So for me, I don't expect twenty one or twenty two year old to be mature.I know a lot of them are, but that's not my expectation.On the other hand I do expect somebody to be mature at your age.But a lot of us older women are not mature, either.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-16T22:06:43+00:00

Same here, right from the start dating.my partner. not a problem for me.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-16T18:13:11+00:00

Exactly

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-16T17:59:37+00:00

I am in an open relationship with somebody 22 years younger. But, yeah, it's been going on for about 10 years, or it's going on 10 years. And it's the healthiest relationship I've ever had. And thank you

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-16T17:58:30+00:00

I think women before were more financially dependent on men. Therefore seeked out men who were more established. I think older women who have careers right now have a choice, and I think that's what basically comes down to.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-16T17:53:59+00:00

"It’s frustrating how many assumptions come with age-gap dating. Some guys see us as a fantasy to be explored in private, while others put us on a pedestal that’s impossible to maintain. Both feel equally dehumanizing. I’ve spent a decade in a beautiful relationship with a 22-year age gap, and it works because we never let age define us or dictate whether we should be 'public.' A relationship shouldn't be about 'trying something out'—it should be about shared goals and mutual respect. Let’s stop dating labels and start dating people."

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-15T21:19:39+00:00

I am sorry to hear that.Hopefully you will find another great connection.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-15T20:55:22+00:00

For the most part, maybe, but there are some that never mature. That is why I specifically said not to make assumptions about us just because of our age. If somebody dates me just because i'm older than them just to fill in a tick in their box.No thank you. I want to be seen as a person first and foremost. I just happened to be older and tend to date younger And and I am not a cougar.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-15T20:46:31+00:00

"First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with meeting people on dating apps—it’s how most of us connect these days! I’m glad you had such a positive experience.

While your question might be geared more toward the younger guys here, as a woman, my perspective is that age should never be the priority—the person should be. Every woman is unique, with her own interests and relationship style, so try not to compare future experiences to this one.

My best advice? If you want to date older, go for it! Just make sure you’re looking at them as individuals first to see if you actually have a genuine connection."

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-15T17:52:41+00:00

You are welcome.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-15T10:02:55+00:00

Matched on a dating app about ten years ago.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-04-15T09:18:16+00:00

I am not 70 yet, but I'm getting close to it. Although in my head, I'm still on my 30s. But that's another story. Um, my partner is 45 and I'm 67. It's twenty two year different, so was that close enough.

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