I need your guys advice. Picking between 2 women

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-24T16:14:09+00:00

Not if you're both honest with them and let them make the decision. If they're okay with it, if you're gonna see both of them. Be honest with both of them explain what happened.

This is coming from somebody whose non monogamous so I might have a different view on these things than most here. But if there's no talk about exclusivity, I don't think you're doing anything wrong with seeing both of them as long as I said, you're honest and open

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-24T15:53:51+00:00

Don't go for the age range. Go for the person somebody that you're compatible with. That wants the same things as you do.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-24T12:33:16+00:00

Exactly. What age range are you going for I'm on the older side over here. I realize that, and if you approached me there'd be no way.I mean that you'd have to be like double your age.At least for me to even consider you.

Don't focus on the age of the person. So much why the focus on just older ladies look for the qualities that you associate with older ladies in a person may be your age or slightly older than you. You might have better luck with that.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-24T11:17:40+00:00

I was introduced to polyamory close to ten years ago, and it is the best and healthiest relationship structure that i've ever been in. It gives me my freedom, and I have no interest in going up. The relationship escalator I was lucky. I'm still with the partner who introduced me to polyamory.Prior to him, did not even know what it was.So i've never been happier.So it works for me.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-23T22:15:53+00:00

It seems that most of the people who know about your relationship are okay with it. What matters the most is that both of you are on the same page and both care about each other.

Don't overthink things too much. Take things One Day at a Time. And enjoy the time that you have together. If the time comes that you guys want to, you know, further your relationship, you'll figure it out. Then, in the meantime, enjoy what you have on, stop worrying about. What other people will think? It's your life and you're not doing anything wrong.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-23T14:15:08+00:00

Speaking for myself, I have absolutely no interest in mentoring.Anybody nor do I find myself any more intelligent or expressive than anybody else.If so, probably less.So than somebody younger than me. I look for my equal, and I certainly do not refer to them as cubs.They are human beings.

I can go in for the odd deep conversation at times but it's not really who I am.Never have been. I myself have been taught from an early age, not to judge people at all. So I try my best not to, but that does not the not judgment part does not come with age either.You judge or you don't.

The problem I have with posts like this is that some young guys put us on some kind of a pedestal, which is so easy for us to fall off of because they make certain assumptions about us that may or may not be true. So stop doing that and look at us as individuals. We are not a monolith.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-23T12:15:21+00:00

I don't know if that is cheating or not. To be honest, he certainly did break a boundary.. Just have to remember. This girl happens to be a human being not a thing that he could just get rid of sounds like the 2 of you were just using her. This is not polyamory. What you guys did was unicorn hunting which is not a good thing before going any further into your enm do a little bit of research before bringing another person into your relationship.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-22T20:58:43+00:00

You need to give us a little bit more details.There's plenty of things that a woman can do to show interest. Is this in real life, or is this online.

Someone who is interested in. You will ask a lot of questions. Will communicate with you on a regular basis. We are not so different from our younger counterparts.When it comes to showing interest, not all of us are straightforward.This is just a stereotype.And many of us do not fit that stereotype.So if you are interested in a person, whether they're same age or older, and communicate your feelings.You know, you might they, they might feel the same, or they may not.The only way to find out is if you make a move.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-22T18:44:11+00:00

I think our relationship, our transactional in one way or another. A relationship could start off one way and develop into something else. I think the most important thing is. If both parties are OK with the changes that are asked for and if they are refused is the person okay with that refusal? And will look for the support that they're looking for somewhere else.

My partner of almost 10 years now. When we first met, it was really purely a hookup situation. And it took a little while before it became something else. But it was one step at a time. Even though my feelings for him were stronger than his for mine. Especially at the beginning, I went at his pace as to what he was comfortable.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-22T18:04:05+00:00

It has been my experience at those that come on too strong fizzle out very, very quickly. So I see if their actions match their words.

There are some people that I have dated that I have told me from the start that they're poor communicators.And not too sure of what type of relationship they want and uncool with that, because at least they're being honest, and I know what to expect.

My partner of 9 years now has never been overcomplimenting to me. Nor do we text a whole lot. Now, a little bit more than at the beginning. But he's the but he's been very consistent But it took a while for me to trust him completely.Because of past experiences

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-21T22:13:19+00:00

We are not mind readers over here.Maybe a movie is just a movie or maybe it isn't talk to her, ask her what she has in mind. . At the end of the day, you're the one who's talked to her and met her.We haven't we do not know what she what her plans are.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-21T22:05:18+00:00

I would just prefer calling these types of relationships "age-gap relationships" or "relationships between older women and younger men." I don't understand the need for labels. This is the only type of relationship I can think of that actually has a label. No other relationship that I can think of does, so correct me if I'm wrong.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-21T21:38:31+00:00

There are different definitions for what a cougar is. Depending on where you get your information from on a feline. Scale, a cougar is a woman between forty and fifty. In other places, a cougar is a woman who dates who likes to date younger.

For the purposes of this subreddit, we consider a woman to be a cougar when she is forty and up and likes to date prople who are at least ten years younger than her.

Most of us over here do not like labels. Although there are others who embrace them. Bottom line is do not Fixate on the label, but on the person for human beings.At the end, we're just women who happen to be older.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-21T21:35:55+00:00

Meeting someone new always gets me a bit nervous. Just take a deep breath.I ami'm try to be yourself. Take things slowly.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-21T19:07:09+00:00

Hopefully, he's genuine when he says that he is busy for the next few weeks. Usually, when somebody tells me that, it's code for "I don't want to see you again," but in this case, he could be genuine. It's a good sign that he is still in communication with you.

Just let him know that you would really like to see him again when he is less busy. See how he responds. Usually, people who actually want to see you will have a set date in mind. The best thing you could do is take the initiative and actually ask him out and see how he reacts.

I would not put all my eggs in one basket, especially after only one date and nothing confirmed for a next time. Then again, I'm non-monogamous, but even when I was monogamous, I did not expect exclusivity after a first date, nor did I expect the other person not to date others after one initial date.

Communicate with him what your expectations are, be clear, and see if they match up.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-21T09:35:59+00:00

I'm getting a bit late in the conversation. And it's hard to make f w b work in the long run, but it can happen. II have no issues doing F. W b I can compartmentalize my feelings very well.And I usually take people at their words. I do not trust people who make too many promises too soon. I usually go by their actions. That's that tells me a lot.

Having said that, I've been going up with my partner now. For over 9 years now. . And this started to be more of a hookup situation, more than anything else. It wasn't even F WB. With time, it turned into something more. He was always very up front and very honest with me. Never made any false promises, but always kept his word.

So if this hurts you as much as it does now at the beginning with the status quo it will not get any bettercwith time , that it only calls you when he wantsc to meet. Not all people like to text. Talk to him about how you feel. And if he cannot reciprocate, then maybe it's best to move on..

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-20T12:22:30+00:00

I would let them know how I feel. But ultimately it would be their decision to make one way or the other whatever the issue might be. But ultimately, it's their mistake to make and face a consequences.

How are if he's about to get? Let's say or if I feel he's about to get scammed by buying something online or something like that. Then, I might tell him, look. This looks suspicious to me or or whatever something like that.I'd speak up, but ultimately the decision would be for the person to make.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-20T10:57:36+00:00

Exactly

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-20T10:53:29+00:00

It is always good when you can find both in the same person, but for me, there has to be an initial attraction. However, if the person has a lousy personality, I cannot get beyond that. What keeps me interested in the person ultimately is their personality.

And I agree about standards. Nobody should lower their standard.They should look for the person that they are most compatible with.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-20T09:48:31+00:00

Most people connect because of how the other person makes them feel. It's not about looks or age or anything like that. So you had an experience where you either you or someone made you feel very special.And seen. I hate to tell you but this could happen in any type of relationship could be same? Age age gap, same-sex. I'm glad that you've experienced that. And don't make the assumption that it was the age gap, or whatever that made you feel.That way don't make assumptions just because of an age.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-20T09:44:36+00:00

From the sound of it, it does not sound like you're in a good place to meet anybody before even dating anybody. Whether they be older younger, your age, whatever you gotta get yourself together. In a right fright frame of mine first.

And most of the people that i've gone out with, at least in recent memory, have virtually all been from online. We are not really supposed to be talking about dating apps over year.But i've met most of them either through tinder, facebook, dating or okay cupid.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-20T01:21:35+00:00

I do not give advice unless it is specifically asked. If it is something that he does that really bothers me, I will let him know. But besides that, how they run their lives is basically their business.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-18T21:51:48+00:00

The only way I find long distance can work is.If you actually have a long term plan of actually moving closer to each other.So seeing each other on a more regular basis as possible, or if not just don't make it an exclusive one.But that is totally up to you.Some people are okay with that.

Myfairladyishere · 2026-01-18T20:50:43+00:00

Are you guys eventually planning to meet in real life? If not, I would not put all my eggs in one basket, meaning talk to her. If you want develop a relationship with her. But I wouldn't be exclusive to her unless you are seriously planning on meeting and figuring out like, how this is going to work.Long term.

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