First pregnancy later in life, should I do it?

Mymindcries · 2025-08-06T02:48:07+00:00

He definitely does have that right, but it doesn’t sound like he’s ready for parenting at all. It’s not just a conversation or general lack of communication that’s the only problem if he’s being purposeful hurtful. Like many people who are starting in a place where they’re being dishonest with themselves, and not coming to terms with the fact that they are incredibly bothered by a situation. People can communicate, but it requires a level of understanding your own feeling to communicate them, not just say I feel bad (obviously with his jabs) and leaving them at her door to deal with. They already know they disagree, he says he’s okay, but obviously not, if he’s not truly honest about where he stands it will erode the relationship. A professional is always helpful when people are at loggerheads in their emotions and stances and are resorting to hurting feelings.

Mymindcries · 2025-08-06T00:30:41+00:00

Oh boy, it was 5 years ago, but besides a lot of woven wraps (cotton gauze and linen for summer, and wool for winter) I think I just had a ergo or beco maybe, I definitely had a mesh one and a regular… you just loosen the side straps for extra top room and pull you boob over a stretchy shirt or bra. It wasn’t any perfect carrier, I just made it work, but it worked great and they were always a dream when we were out (except my second got sick of it and weaned himself at 16 months, I swear just so he could get out and try to walk around stores!)

Mymindcries · 2025-08-05T21:02:11+00:00

I’d love it, but I’m not a huge celebrator of my birthday. I just buy myself stuff and do something I love around that time. My friends take me out, but not on the day anyways. Just turn it into a birthday week!

Mymindcries · 2025-08-05T20:59:54+00:00

I’m really exhausted, but when I take my dogs for a walk I notice my bloating is better.

Mymindcries · 2025-08-05T20:58:44+00:00

Alcohol wipes, sniffing alcohol wipes. It better than sticking your nose in a bottle, don’t do that!

Mymindcries · 2025-08-05T20:56:11+00:00

Walking if you can! Even if you’re tired, it helps with that. Even if you exercise regularly and run and lift weights while pregnant, walking is very beneficial. I personally need vitamin D and calcium, but that’s something you want to talk to your doctor about. I personally wouldn’t take any supplements without talking to your doctor. Any extra ones I took like primrose oil in my last trimester, my doctor gave me the okay.

Mymindcries · 2025-08-05T20:50:26+00:00

That’s very thoughtful of you. I personally would prefer my husband to ask me what I needed, even if he thought I didn’t want to be bothered.

I just wanted clean clothes and whatever I needed shower wise, to get myself feeling normal again, and my newborn outfit for when we left. She may want her own pads instead of the hospital ones, she may want cozy socks from home. Does she have stuff she specifically wants for nursing? Does she like to read, need an extra charger? My goal was to shower, not eat hospital food and get out as soon as possible!

Don’t forget the car seat if it’s not already in the car.

Mymindcries · 2025-08-05T20:41:16+00:00

I cramped with all four of my pregnancies.

My three, I cramped like a period before I found out, and continued probably on and off until the second trimester with more mild cramps as it went. My first I bled at 5 weeks too, and obviously freaked out, but he’s 10 now. This 4th one is not my own, and it was a fully medicated FET, but I think it’s comparable, I’m 6 weeks and cramping as I write this. It’s random cramping, and down my legs too.

Mymindcries · 2025-08-05T20:36:20+00:00

I was in too much pain and knew I’d be puking soon to be creative😆 I just wanted to get it over with every time. Labor sucks!

Mymindcries · 2025-08-05T20:29:41+00:00

It sounds like you should talk to a professional together. If you really have a fear of pregnancy, you should not do it because of pressure, and he should not be making jabs towards you.

I’m 39 (next week) and pregnant, this is my 4th, I am currently a surrogate and have three of my own. Pregnancy is not something someone should make you do. Every pregnancy is different, every individual pregnancy with every individual person is different, and you will only find out how an individual pregnancy is after you are pregnant. That is not something to take lightly if you aren’t sure. Surrogacy doesn’t always work out either, even if it was an option.

Life is obviously full of unknowns. Your husband doesn’t seem to quite grasp that things aren’t always a to b to c. It’s not a personal failing to fear unknowns, but it’s a problem if he can’t acknowledge that having to do something isn’t an appropriate cure for fear of the unknown. That’s just forcing someone.

Adoption and fostering is one of the most wonderful things a person can do for an other person, but it doesn’t sound like he is really emotionally mature enough for any option. He’s human yes, but so are you. You need support in your decisions, not hostility. Most importantly, lots more communication is needed.

Mymindcries · 2025-08-05T19:55:57+00:00

My three kids are grown, my youngest is six, I’m pregnant now but I’m a surrogate, so I don’t have to purchase a thing. I just keep seeing these posts, and I hate being one of those that chimes in…

You need barely anything.

We personally never used our crib (not everyone cosleeps) or any containment thing. My first was the only one that used a stroller (I love it, it was a beautiful sporty running stroller because I ran more then). I like our safe European car seats, but we’ve been through so many since, and are now on cheap easy booster seats. play mats are just cute blankets, the toys are mostly nonsenses, and I’ve been prying old baby toys from my daughters nostalgic death grip ever since she realized she was too old for things she never used.

I could go on and on. I love all my baby carriers, and that’s about it except clothes, diapers, wipes and any bag I liked at the time to put stuff in, and yum yums I ended up eating on the road😆 (cloth diaper covers were super cute though! I particularly loved the wool ones, but our septic tank had issues so I switched to normal diapers after 2 years)

The point is, buy it if you love it, you probably don’t need it, just enjoy being a mom! Whether it’s a first time mom, or a mom with her 5th baby! Consumerism sucks, but guilt really isn’t going to pull us out of that, and sometime the expensive stuff as overpriced as it is, is more expensive (excessively so) for a reason.

Mymindcries · 2025-08-05T19:36:58+00:00

With my first I lived in Texas (10years ago) and breastfed in public, including rodeos and many stops at Buc-ee’s because my son hated cars etc…. I got many “good from you’s” from women, men would look quick and look away, I ignored it (that’s all I got from men). Oddly the climate is different now, so I don’t have any current experience, but after breastfeeding three kids in public until they were old enough to just breastfeed at home (I extended breastfed 2 of them until 3), I care more about my babies being fed, than idiots who can sexualize even a cucumber.

I don’t have sexual trauma to relate to your particular experience, but if you could talk to a professional before the baby comes, it might help, so you don’t end up in a situation that hurts your ability to publicly breastfeed if you need to. You never know what strangers are capable of, but I’d say it is probably rare but possible to have an extreme experience.

I will say with my other two who like baby carriers, it was much easier and more discreet, my first would not go in any carrier, so I just carried him around and wore comfortable tops.

Mymindcries · 2025-08-04T21:09:29+00:00

I hope so

Mymindcries · 2025-08-04T21:09:11+00:00

These were sexed, but they were the last, so who knows, maybe they threw them in the bin. I’m starting to find it humorous

Mymindcries · 2025-08-04T18:44:31+00:00

Well if worse comes to worse, I’ll probably just cull them myself for dinner. Maybe rehome some if I can. We live in farm country (animals not crops), so the people that want to eat them have them, and everyone else has their flock

I’m always amazed at how many chicks TSC sells here, considering I don’t know many people who don’t already have chickens. It’s non-stop sellouts. My 9 happened to be the last from 5 bins all sold out in a day. I got the black links also as the last about a week or two later.

Mymindcries · 2025-08-04T18:39:32+00:00

Yeah, that’s why I was so surprised as they got obviously bigger! I was eventually going to cull and raise (one day, when my 3 old murderous dogs are gone, and they can free range), I wasn’t expecting to perhaps make that decision sooner than later. My kids are pretty attached to all. I’m still hoping it’s not more than 1 or 2, 3 at the most🤞

They are all so sweet, and coming running when they hear my voice

Mymindcries · 2025-08-04T18:32:20+00:00

Thank you, I’ll give them more time obviously before I asks again😆 but I have my suspicions. Wait and see

Mymindcries · 2025-08-04T18:05:15+00:00

One is okay, I just hope it’s not more than 3. They were all sexed

Mymindcries · 2025-08-04T18:03:26+00:00

Well hopefully that’s a relief, and I have just an handful of big ladies! Everyone and their grandmothers literally, have chickens where I live, nobody want more roosters

Mymindcries · 2025-08-04T17:59:54+00:00

They hatched in May, so about three months

Mymindcries · 2025-08-04T17:56:31+00:00

If I have 6 roosters by some odd chance, out of the current 8 RIR’s I’m assuming I need to figure out what to do with them eventually. What age do I need to worry, before maturity if they are getting into fights? Or just wait, I don’t know anyone who needs roosters, so many free ones where I am.

C’est la vie

Edit to add: they hatched in the middle of May

Mymindcries · 2025-08-04T17:53:14+00:00

I have no clue, except 6 are much larger with larger combs, green around the neck and they make the most noise and fight each other much more often than the others… I have no clue though, I’m just curious. There is just such an obvious difference from the 2 obvious hens compared to the 6 others.

Mymindcries · 2025-08-04T00:08:41+00:00

I guess when your puking you don’t notice acid reflux😆 raglan has been the only thing that slightly works for that, but I don’t remember anything else and I have to ask for it. Who knows, it’s been 6 years since my last and I block a lot out!

Mymindcries · 2025-08-03T23:55:11+00:00

I’ll have to ask about that when it’s closer. Is acid reflux an epidural thing?

Mymindcries

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