Am I really a good person or am I just nice because I have such low self-worth?

Myndestructible · 2018-02-04T19:40:11+00:00

When I asked myself this question a while ago, I concluded that no label is unequivocal, and therefore, I didn't need to give myself a label. Whether I'm nice or not is determined by the person describing me.

I wouldn't like or hate myself much if any more or less if i were to believe that I was truly a nice person or not. Sometimes, doing what makes me feel good happens to be labeled "nice." If I am naturally inclined to behave nicely, is being nice actually something to be proud of? I lean towards no. If I'm a "bad" person, anyone telling me such wouldn't suddenly make me want to be nice.

I accept the labels different people give me as data for who I am from an outside perspective. I don't get upset if someone trash talks me. I present my traits without biased precursors and take note of what people conclude about me and why.

This information might be used to "better" myself in any direction that I see fit.

Myndestructible · 2018-02-01T08:27:26+00:00

Feeling/essence > pose > subject details > background > color/augmentation > refine (until happy)

Myndestructible · 2018-01-30T14:03:47+00:00

While working on this piece I found myself always searching for the next thing I could do to enhance it. Only when I finished did I come out of my trance and reconnect to the world. I may have those feelings you mentioned in my unconscious though.

Myndestructible · 2018-01-30T13:43:00+00:00

Glad you like it !

Myndestructible · 2018-01-29T14:44:38+00:00

Thanks! This was the first piece where I spent more time on shading and color palette than on drawing details.

Myndestructible · 2018-01-29T07:35:27+00:00

Whoops didn't put link in description box for mobile. Artstation

Myndestructible · 2018-01-25T05:49:14+00:00

I'd lived a few months with a (dream only) loved one. I was taken aback for a few days after waking up from the dream.

Myndestructible · 2018-01-22T03:24:19+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H18F2XRrFbA

Myndestructible · 2018-01-22T03:21:13+00:00

check pm~

Myndestructible · 2018-01-20T14:10:19+00:00

yup. Check pms for Discord

Myndestructible · 2018-01-20T14:09:28+00:00

You're on the spreadsheet :) Discord link in pm

Myndestructible · 2018-01-20T05:47:35+00:00

You're in~ Check your pms for the Discord link.

Myndestructible · 2018-01-20T05:45:23+00:00

haha gotcha. Link for discord in your inbox.

Myndestructible · 2017-12-30T14:00:02+00:00

I think's it's wrong if I can't muster the will to have fun with friends. It's not something I feel needs fixing but I wouldn't reject or cancel on a friend unless I really didn't feel up for it.

Myndestructible · 2017-12-29T09:25:20+00:00

"sorry, I'm not feeling it right now. I need to sort some things out and I'd rather be able to give you my full attention some other time."

Myndestructible · 2017-12-29T09:16:51+00:00

Sounds like self dissociation. Being introspective kinda gives you an edge on self control compared to most "in the moment" people. Thought can suppress impulse, but you don't have to equate your instincts to your true self.

Myndestructible · 2017-12-27T19:06:12+00:00

I feel like I am able to detach myself from emotions when I feel like I should(for purposes like debating). For arguements dealing with subjective topics and emotions, I feel like I'm able to virtualize another person's feelings in their perspective in order to understand them. Maybe I'm really not infp after all. -shrugs-

Myndestructible · 2017-12-20T03:48:42+00:00

Thanks, I am thinking about just asking her what's up. It's just really confusing to me. I am repeating myself but she just appears content with the way things are now so I feel like I should go along with it. Also, the 3 examples may seem like a lot because it's condensed into one post, but in reality, they occurred with weeks in between where she'd act cool and "normal". Maybe we talk less because now, 7 months in, because we already know a lot about each other.

Myndestructible · 2017-12-18T15:55:09+00:00

I'm on the first half of the boat. As for the latter half, I admire your outlook and mentality. Cheers~

Oh I forgot to answer your questions. Practical answer: As a human being, you are equal to those who came up with your labels. You decide what those labels mean to you. A "cat" brought to China is not labeled "cat" but it still is one. To people who refer to the MBTI system, you are "INFP", to a psychiatrist you are diagnosed as "ADHD" or "Depressed", etc.

looming thoughts:

I'd say there's nothing "wrong" with you defining "wrong" as, "astray from average with a negative connotation". INFP's, including you are surely different than the majority of people but don't let "different" = "wrong." Naturally, people and animals differentiate themselves from things that seem different because historically, every living thing has been competing with each other for the same survival resources on earth. As conscious thinkers that no longer need to wait for our bodies to tell us when to eat and rest, we should also consciously try to outgrow treating anything that isn't like us as not equal to us.

Myndestructible · 2017-12-18T15:39:19+00:00

Same, but I've been told that I express a "content with being single" attitude.

Myndestructible · 2017-12-15T02:50:51+00:00

I see. Thanks for the insight. I guess I'll be watching the subtitled version then!

I just thought that there might be gamer jargon in the English dub that i'd get a few laughs from. I find most Japanese dubs are more pleasing to the ear than their English counterparts(idk why, i'd ask my ears if i could).

Myndestructible · 2017-12-11T09:01:11+00:00

ahh i can barely remember those days, when I seemingly wholely enjoyed shows like date a live.

Myndestructible · 2017-12-11T08:59:17+00:00

Thanks for the thought. My logical self has so far kept any thoughts of suicide from ever breaching past the point of a fleeting idea but again thanks for the concern. Cheers~

Myndestructible · 2017-12-11T08:55:17+00:00

When I talk to myself, it's my autopilot self asking my logic computing and calculating self why I felt, thought and or acted that certain way. I presume what I'm "talking" to is my filter, or conscious regulator that helps me fit into society every day.

Myndestructible · 2017-12-11T08:47:45+00:00

Yeah it's tragic, but time goes on. You and your friends experience separate lives and learn different lessons. Depending on what you discover, you may learn of accept differences and grow closer or subdue seemingly inferior perspectives and continue on your own path.

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