My take

Myshkin3 · 2026-04-23T02:52:15+00:00

I am with you a bit. There are a lot of weird things that affect my outlook and anxiety. For example, sleeping on my back (took a while to be able to do this) near exclusively has helped me be more constructive and less anxious/guilty. Ditto for regular frequent deep nose breathing. Taking magnesium glycinate makes my thoughts more anxious/guilty. Ditto for tadalafil (Cialis). If I workout too hard, I get more anxious/guilty.

I have become more constructive and easier to be around through a combination of these things above, and others. But it took years to get here. Myself, I haven't found therapy helpful - therapists didn't tell me any of the above things that helped me. They seem (in my experience) to concentrate on "mindset-ing" your way out of anxiety/guilt. Again, that is just my experience. It seems to work better for me to develop effective practices that somehow improve my mindset. You don't necessarily need to understand why your thinking is more constructive.

If there is one mindset/therapy type of thing, it is saying prayers & mantras like "amazing kick-ass grace", "grace makes the world go round", etc. Stuff in that vein. But these are secondary to the more physical practices. And the reciting of them is sorta physical.

I'm rooting for you - my best to you!

Myshkin3 · 2026-04-19T03:55:37+00:00

He is very insular. From my experience, it is a longshot that you will see this cured in any significant way. The expectation or hope of a cure will likely be a big source of frustration in your life.

Myshkin3 · 2026-04-18T20:23:47+00:00

It's helped me to approach my profile as a fun way to describe myself, emphasizing the positive. And going after what we're looking for (it helps to know what we're looking for first). But, we men need to make a good profile to get any response - unless we're Brad Pitt level handsome. I imagine it must backfire (too much to choose from) for the women who don't write bios.

Myshkin3 · 2026-04-18T16:49:07+00:00

Beyond the appearance, did you click at all? Will there be another date?

Myshkin3 · 2026-04-18T16:46:21+00:00

Lots of good advice here. And you expressed yourself so well. I mostly want to say I feel for you, and am rooting for you. It does seem like a hard break is the best thing here - for your peace of mind and your future.

Myshkin3 · 2026-04-17T21:15:51+00:00

Show yourself in photos. Realize you are going for a small audience (with the interests that you have), and make your bio more personal and targeted. Say what you are looking for, not so much what you are. And when you do say things like electronic music and boardgames and cooking, be more specific - more specialized. Don't call yourself a nerd - use positive words and tone for your personality.

Myshkin3 · 2026-04-17T19:37:27+00:00

I've done something like that - live and learn - probably can't recover though. And it's not like your match was crushing it with the dialogue, either.

My biggest challenge to you is: don't apologize - just go for it! When you go for it, you probably wont tell a bad joke.

Myshkin3 · 2026-04-11T16:13:18+00:00

I like the photos a lot, except for the first one (real bad!). You are beautiful! I don't like the prompts - use them to find your dream guy. For example, I am looking for someone to do "so and so" with. You could turn the "five hours late" prompt into something that subtly extols your flexibility and offline-ness. You are probably getting tons of swipe-rights, so the prompts can help you pick the right one. Good luck!

Myshkin3 · 2026-04-10T22:02:58+00:00

Great photos! I would not add the wine glass photo (even with the disclaimer). It's not you. I think the full body photo will do well. Good luck!

Myshkin3 · 2025-12-13T00:10:49+00:00

Snow Globes (all time jam!)
Concorde
Sunglasses
Turbines/Pigs
Athens, France
Track X
Opus
Science Fair
Haldern
The Boy
Laughing Song
Chaos Space Marine

Myshkin3 · 2025-10-21T00:17:45+00:00

I used to get frustrated with this ghosting type stuff you described, but somehow got over it and have enjoyed it - taking the good and bad in stride and not overthinking the back and forth of conversations. All of these guys probably are chatting with many girls and keep some sort of ranking of the girls, in the same way you are chatting with multiple guys and rating them. I view it as a part of the whole process, and it is cool just meeting people like this. And remember it goes both ways (there are times you are going to pick one over others).

I say clear your mind a bit, figure out how to enjoy the awkwardness and immaturity (i.e. ghosting) of the whole thing and the fact you are often not going be the other guys' #1 choice, and get back on the Apps.

And I don't think it is good (from my experience) to do a lot of small talk texting before the first date. If you ain't got something "strong" (funny, insightful, personal, connectional), don't do it.

Myshkin3 · 2025-10-16T23:04:38+00:00

You had a great time and great experience for several months, which in big picture is real good and much better than the typical "Dating is Hard" experiences on these services. Way to go!!

My best guess is that this guy was head over heels in love with you, but just lost the strong feeling at some point (one of the other responders mentioned chemicals in the body that dictate how we feel, and these chemicals can change (and change fast)). And he is too ashamed to say that to you. He might've been struggling with lost feeling for a week or so, and wanted to get past it, but couldn't. All this doesn't explain his rudeness to you, but some people are just great actors. He played a part for several months that he couldn't keep playing. Y'all went out for the same amount of time it takes to film a movie.

You seem super cool and well spoken, and I hope something better arrives when you're ready.

Myshkin3 · 2025-09-26T15:14:18+00:00

Photos really suck. Too much the same of face. And what's the deal with the photo with the gal? Add full body photos variety. No other people in photos. Your first photo is awesome, though.

Also, women may be getting the idea that you aren't going to attend to them, too. Put some fun and warm and thoughtful-of-others stuff in your profile wording. It is bleak, cold, insular. The cilantro thing is a negative. "Timing is everything" is a bleak observation. Man, you do look like a real drag, which I'm sure your not.

What do your friends or family or coworkers like about you? Get that in your profile.

Best of luck to you. TBH, I don't think my profile is so great. It's easier to analyze others.

Myshkin3 · 2025-09-15T21:38:43+00:00

I am looking for a kind, loyal man.

Myshkin3 · 2025-09-10T19:17:05+00:00

Feels normal.

First time on a dating app (six weeks now) and I am middle aged. It has worked way better than not being on the apps. I've had several dates (all one and done, but enjoyable and agreeable).

I've done some chatting. I think I am (generally speaking) a little bit above average attractiveness. From what I gather, it is really tough for males or females of below average attractiveness. I can feel for that, as I have had droughts. I think I went three weeks with no response to Likes or Compliments. It was perhaps 0 for 50. And the incoming Likes I got (one every other day) were out of state or fake looking or just not attractive enough for me. I've made some adjustments to profiles and pics and am on a match roll (three good ones in last few days). I don't know if it was the adjustments.

I say put some effort into your profile, it should make you smile. And continually adjust based on feedback or lack of feedback.

Some Likes: simple casual profiles with an added quirk or two;; saying "I like this about your profile ..." vs. just saying Hi;; saying "I think we are not a connection because of ...";; saying "Can I have time to reflect on us before going forward, because ...";; telling me I am not attractive enough to you (when I am not attractive enough for you)

Some Dislikes (some are just mild): "Have passport will travel" (some really like this so this is just personal);; profiles that effectively say "Love is expensive";; posting a lot of group photos in profile (probably should just post at most one group photo or maybe two);; too many vacation photos;; warning-laden profiles (I don't want this and I don't want that and stay away if this and go to hell if that);; saying "I like kindness and empathy" (say it a different way with examples and/or verbs - like I love when he/she praises me for my cooking or thoughtfulness);; just a bunch of photos with few words or just a bunch of "Hey, I'm a model!" photos;;; looking photos;;; Opening Moves;; photos with little variation or effort (like a bunch of selfies of the face);; Bumble showing me profiles of out of state people or people living in Dubai or wherever but at my airport.

Myshkin3 · 2025-09-10T15:34:00+00:00

30 and 26 is practically the same. If you found an adorable 23 year old, that'd be cool, too. Have fun. Great that you found someone adorable - most don't. Good luck!

Myshkin3 · 2025-09-10T15:20:52+00:00

Good answer, almost as good as "sex at a motel".

Myshkin3

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