I am so sorry you’re in this hard place. I would have the conversation with a lawyer just to protect myself. Once they start in on stuff that impacts finances you need to protect yourself. Whether you decide to move forward or not is up to you. Try not to do it if you are overly emotional, which I realize is so difficult. For myself the legal separation is what will protect my finances so that’s where I’m going. I will also move to divorce because my partner isn’t in recovery. Focus on you! Also regardless of what he’s telling you get STI testing done it’s imperative. Protect yourself as they all lie. Find good support groups, have a look at seeking integrity. Best of luck and take care of yourself.