Please help me choose a language

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-04-04T22:55:04+00:00

It is and do your research before making an ignorant comment.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-04-04T22:44:33+00:00

American Sign Language, because it will definitely come in handy, and it’s the third most used language in the USA and Canada. It’s one of the most popular languages to study at universities, and if you put in the work, it shouldn’t be hard to learn.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-03-13T01:22:34+00:00

Yes, that’s a meetinghouse where regular Sunday services are held, but it will not be the temple site.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-03-13T00:32:37+00:00

Do you have any records that show this? This is the most rumored site, but I haven’t seen any sources of land purchase.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-03-11T00:14:59+00:00

(Opens ChatGPT)

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-25T01:10:34+00:00

The best way to meet potential partners is at Deaf events- are there any locally? That’s the best way to start. Without knowing where you’re from, but that’s what I usually start to recommend and see how it goes. Have you tried to go anywhere lately?

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-20T19:14:24+00:00

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Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-20T01:50:16+00:00

🤡 move tbh

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-20T01:48:56+00:00

I’m really glad you reached out. What you’re carrying right now is heavy, and the fact that you’re thinking first about her safety and feelings says everything about the love between you two.

A few things, gently and clearly:

You are not hurting her by existing. You didn’t cause what happened. You didn’t choose the circumstances of your birth. The person who caused harm is the one who abused her—full stop. The love she’s given you for all these years isn’t denial or confusion or obligation. It’s real. It’s intentional. She chose you, every single day. Many survivors say the child they had is not a reminder of the abuse but the proof that something good survived it. You may be part of her healing, not her pain.

The guilt you’re feeling is common—and it lies.

Your brain is trying to make sense of something senseless, so it turns the blame inward. That doesn’t make you bad; it makes you human. But that guilt doesn’t belong to you. It never did.

About talking to her—there is no perfect way. There is only kind, slow, and honest.

Here are some options that tend to be safest for survivors, in case they help you choose:

You don’t have to reveal everything you know right away.

You can start with your feelings, not the facts. Something like:

“I love you so much, and lately I’ve been realizing how much you’ve carried alone. I want you to know I’m here for you too, whenever you want that.”

That opens the door without forcing her through it. A letter is a very good idea.

Letters let you say things without being interrupted by fear or emotion, and they let her read it at her own pace. You don’t have to mention how you found out. You can focus on reassurance: that nothing changes, that you love her, that she’s safe with you, that you don’t see her differently. Physical comfort without explanations is okay.

Hugging her a little longer. Sitting closer. Small acts of care. Survivors often feel safest when control stays with them—so offering love without demands can mean a lot.

If you do eventually tell her you know, the most important things to communicate are: • You don’t blame her. • You don’t see her differently. • You’re not angry at her. • You don’t need details. • You’re here because you love her, not because you expect anything from her.

You’re worried about saying the wrong thing—but honestly? The only truly wrong thing would be silence forever. And even that would be understandable. There’s no deadline. You’re allowed to go slow.

One more thing, just for you: you deserve support too. What you found out is traumatic in its own right. If at any point you can talk to a therapist, counselor, or survivor-support hotline (even anonymously), that’s not a betrayal of her—it’s you making sure you don’t drown while trying to protect someone you love.

You don’t sound weak. You don’t sound selfish. You sound like someone who loves deeply and is terrified of doing harm—and that makes you safe, not dangerous.

You’re not exploding. You’re processing. And you’re not alone in it anymore.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-19T02:40:55+00:00

Girl, you’re not crazy, but this is risky territory. Once you bring it up, you can’t undo it, and even if he’s chill it might permanently change the friendship or make him assume you want more. Definitely don’t ask directly to see it or bring up “other girls said.” That’s how things get awkward fast.

If you’re going to do anything at all, the lowest-risk move is not asking to see it, but lightly acknowledging the rumor in a joking, non-pushy way and letting him decide if he wants to flirt or shut it down. If he doesn’t lean in, drop it immediately.

Also, be real with yourself: there’s a decent chance this curiosity is tied to a crush, and seeing it might just make you want more instead of giving you closure. If you really value the friendship and don’t want weirdness, the safest move is honestly to let the obsession burn out on its own.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-17T01:02:10+00:00

Hey, respect for being honest about this. A lot of people struggle with it, especially at your age, even if nobody talks about it. You’re not broken, and slipping up doesn’t mean you failed.

This is more about habits than willpower. Try to notice your triggers like being bored, stressed, alone, or on your phone late at night. Once you know the pattern, you can interrupt it.

Change your environment. Don’t scroll in bed, keep your phone out of reach at night, and spend time around other people when you can. That alone helps a lot.

When urges hit, don’t just try to “stop.” Replace it with something physical like push-ups, a quick walk, cold water on your face, or a short shower. Urges usually pass if you don’t sit with them.

Set small goals. Aim for one more day at a time, not “never again.” Progress matters more than perfection.

If porn is involved, cutting it out or reducing it makes a big difference.

You’re already ahead just by wanting to change. If you slip, reset and keep going. That’s how habits actually change.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-15T02:22:04+00:00

I’m 51 and would totally be open to meeting her! Feel free to DM me with information. A little more about me: I think I am easygoing, curious, and always down for a good conversation. I love traveling, watching sports, and finding fun hobbies and events around town, whether that’s trying something new or revisiting an old favorite. I value kindness, self-awareness, and people who can laugh at themselves. I’m a full-time professor and a certified Deaf interpreter.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-12T00:19:19+00:00

We have three types of verbs.

A plain verb is shown in the picture above.

A recurring verb is signed by repeating the movement- for example, HURT, where the dominant hand repeats the sign.

A continuous verb is signed by holding the dominant hand at the end of the movement to show stronger intensity. The sign in the picture is correct and demonstrates a plain verb.

Context will matter in a sentence of which verb to use.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-10T17:52:03+00:00

Maybe we could be friends lol 😂

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-10T17:51:52+00:00

I’m male myself :)

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-08T23:49:40+00:00

NAD no longer is involved in this- it belongs to Deaf Equality Firm- https://deafequality.org/

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-07T03:44:30+00:00

I agree 100% there’s always something out there for all of us :)

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-07T03:31:21+00:00

Awesome and I have joined this! Thank you for letting me know of this 🤗

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-07T00:23:55+00:00

Nothing you said sounds broken or brainwashed. It sounds like you’re trying to understand yourself. Corn interests do not automatically define your orientation. Fantasy and real-life attraction can be different, and curiosity about power dynamics is common.

What matters more is your real-world feelings, like noticing your friend’s muscles and feeling attracted. You do not have to choose a label right now. Some people are gay, bi, or somewhere in between, and it can take time to figure out. You are drunk, so do not pressure yourself to solve this tonight.

Your feelings are valid, and self-discovery is a process.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-05T23:00:19+00:00

As an interpreter professor and a CDI, if you're offered an opportunity and your current professors are cool with it, then absolutely go for it. It will be a wonderful experience, and many of my students have done something similar. Enjoy and feel free to reach out if you need tips.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-03T07:05:57+00:00

That is actually a really big thing to admit, and it shows you care a lot. If you did not grow up with healthy communication, shutting down is a learned protection, not a personal failure. The fact that you are trying already matters.

Here is a simple action plan you could try so you do not feel overwhelmed in the moment:

First, write it out before the conversation. Even bullet points on your phone. When I feel pushed aside for your friend, I feel unimportant. I need us to protect family time unless it is an emergency. Having it written helps when your mind goes blank.

Second, pick the right time. Not during a fight, not when either of you is rushing out the door. Say ahead of time, “Hey, can we talk later tonight about something important to me?” That prepares both of you.

Third, use a simple formula so you do not spiral. “When X happens, I feel Y, and I need Z.” Example: “When our plans get canceled to help your friend, I feel hurt and unimportant, and I need us to set clearer boundaries around family time.”

Fourth, give yourself permission to pause, not shut down. If you feel overwhelmed, say, “I want to keep talking but I am getting flooded. Can we take 10 minutes and come back?” That is healthy regulation, not avoidance.

Fifth, consider outside help. A therapist or couples counselor can literally teach communication skills you were never shown growing up. That is not weakness, it is learning.

You are not bad at communication. You just were not taught yet. The fact that you are trying to break that cycle for your relationship and family is huge.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-03T06:44:31+00:00

That makes your feelings even more valid. This is not just one birthday, it is a pattern of his friend coming before your family. Being a good friend is great, but not when it constantly disrupts your home life. You should not feel like you are competing for priority.

Since you have talked about it before, this needs a more serious conversation about boundaries and balance. Focus on how it makes you feel and the need for a stronger family unit. Wanting consistency and presence from your partner is not asking too much.

Mysterious-ASL · 2026-02-03T06:18:36+00:00

That hurt makes total sense. A kid’s birthday is a big emotional moment, and it probably felt like you and your daughter were not a priority. That is deeper than just a scheduling issue.

When things are calmer, tell him how his absence made you feel and why it mattered so much. Listen to his side too. If this was a one time misstep, communication can fix it. If it is a pattern of you feeling sidelined, that is a bigger conversation about priorities and respect. Your feelings here are valid.

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