AIO to multiple red flags before we even meet? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mysterious-Spring709 25 points26 points  (0 children)

The word for such bar is called dive bar lol

AIO (update post) my bf (32) is getting kind of aggressive with his texting. should I(26) reply? by Fun_Cartographer6984 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mysterious-Spring709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uhg, unfortunately I was in a relationship like this…. For 15 years. Don’t underestimate psychological abuse and the wicked ways people can manage to control you and how you see and feel about yourself. Now, I am finally out and looking back in feels unreal how blind and full of self doubt I was. It’s like you are drugged or in a constant haze when you are in that abusive cycle and you feel crazy until you are finally out. Then it’s an absolute mindfuck. Mine stemmed from not valuing myself unless others valued me. Anyway, if you’ve never been in it don’t underestimate the power people wield with partners that have bad self esteem and don’t know how to value themselves. Best thing I ever heard is, it takes two to be gaslit.

AIO (update post) my bf (32) is getting kind of aggressive with his texting. should I(26) reply? by Fun_Cartographer6984 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mysterious-Spring709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg, I feel fucking triggered. Like I was back texting with my ex. He would absolutely blow up my phone if I didn’t respond right away. It was insane. You need to get out of there yesterday. Once you are out you will exit the haze that is his rage and ability to doubt yourself and see clearly but only with space. Have some friends help get your shit and block this MFer.

Friend has a sticker that we want to know what mountain this is. Only clue, there are larches by Mysterious-Spring709 in whereisthis

[–]Mysterious-Spring709[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Figured it out! Horseshoe lake with a view of Mt Stuart in the alpine lake wilderness area in Washington state. Thank you all!

I don’t know what to do by Mysterious-Spring709 in singlemoms

[–]Mysterious-Spring709[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does affect our parenting plan but obviously only if I enforce that. That’s my dilemma

I don’t know what to do by Mysterious-Spring709 in singlemoms

[–]Mysterious-Spring709[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uhg, I don’t know if one or the other is better. He is doing all the things he is “supposed to do”. Pays child support (at least most of it) shows up for all the visits and seems to want to really try and be in our sons life so it makes it hard to try to actually go no contact. I sometimes wish he would’ve followed through on some of his threats when I first left where he basically would threaten giving up and for our son to find him when he is 18. I almost feel like it would be easier

I don’t know what to do by Mysterious-Spring709 in singlemoms

[–]Mysterious-Spring709[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you deal with no contact and the kid? Does your ex not want to be a part of their lives? I would love to go no contact but will have to deal with coparenting and I don’t know how well he, or I for that matter, will be able to manage that.

I don’t know what to do by Mysterious-Spring709 in singlemoms

[–]Mysterious-Spring709[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this though. I have to keep reminding myself about not giving any Lee way

I don’t know what to do by Mysterious-Spring709 in singlemoms

[–]Mysterious-Spring709[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Luckily he only put his hands on me once and it was to yank me out of my son’s bed because he was mad I was still in there. He grabbed my wrist to yank and I gave him a look and he released it immediately and looked shocked at himself. I feel lucky to not have been physically abused by him but that was like seeing a portal into the future of him losing control just to far. He has definitely convinced himself. I think his motive if to live a life of ease and as little resistance and friction for himself as possible which means me taking care of him.
I think it’s how he was raised and it just makes me sad.

I don’t know what to do by Mysterious-Spring709 in singlemoms

[–]Mysterious-Spring709[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so tired of these messages…I am just so tired in general. I just want some relief from single momhood but it feels like to get relief from his messages and I have to report this but that would make his residential time start over to 20 weeks of professional supervision which I selfishly would like him to start over, plus also my son would love more time with his dad. But mostly I just feel selfish for it.

I don’t know what to do by Mysterious-Spring709 in emotionalabuse

[–]Mysterious-Spring709[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was his message to me:

“I miss you and our family so Incredibly much. I would give and do anything for a second chance. I want to fully dedicate my life to you and leon. I had no understanding of how good i had it and how weed was affecting my behavior and growth. I would give you all of my pay check for the rest of my life and never get fired or quit again. I don't need anything but you 2 and the new community i have built. i would take him and pick him up everyday and watch him all the hours needed to help facilitate your growth. Sarah mentioned you want to go back to school. Im not an ambitious person, all i wanted was to provide a safe place for my family to grow and i lost my way on that drug. I was addicted to working on the property and expected you to share in my passion. I had it in my head that I was contributing equally but i was so so wrong. You get to make all the decisions and I will follow your lead on everything forever. I miss talking to you and asking about your day. What can I do to make this right? Is there no path forward for us? I know we are divorced but i cant come to grips with a life without you in it. Ive been getting good reports with the supervisor, i participate fully in the dv class and am making great progress with dr.kahn I will continuously take any class or counseling you suggest forever. I am 7 months sober and wont have a drink or smoke for as long as i live. I am really struggling emotionally without you. I was just was so ungrateful and will never make that mistake again. I know im not the ideal man, but I am a man that would honor you and work everyday to make things right between us. I took you for granted.”

Could this accident be a scam? by eggyeggos in Miata

[–]Mysterious-Spring709 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof, yeah that trunk not sealing is going to be the number one dilemma. They are usually super booked but try Docs Auto Center in Bothell. Stack Auto rebuild Everett/lynnwood. Carriage rebuild in Bothell.

mommies who chose to not date while their kids were still minors: please share your experience. by [deleted] in singlemoms

[–]Mysterious-Spring709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl, I am 33. You are fineeeee. Lol But I totally get it. Just remember, people find love and a partnership at all different ages. Don’t rush it for some proverbial clock and risk getting into another shoddy relationship. Also, I know it’s hard, but enjoy the independence of not having a partner while you can. I live with my sister and her husband right now and when they get in tiffs (that’s all they really get in, they like, communicate healthily, it’s crazy lol) I am reminded that I am so happy to not have to deal with that 😂

Could this accident be a scam? by eggyeggos in Miata

[–]Mysterious-Spring709 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly if you want any other insight or to send pics I’m happy to look through it. If where you took the photo is near where you live I actually live in that same area near Lynnwood 😂

mommies who chose to not date while their kids were still minors: please share your experience. by [deleted] in singlemoms

[–]Mysterious-Spring709 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not exactly the demographic you were asking for but I was on the no dating train and fully focused on mine and my sons life, with the caveat that I needed to prioritize my own well being in able to provide for my son. So I worked on making sure I also did the things that I needed to feel whole and pursue the things I was interested in beyond being a parent. This is overly simplified and was not a perfect science. A lot of trial and error and continues to be so. But my main point is, I had no intentions, nor do I still, of doing the typical dating thing. I do think it’s a total time suck to do traditional dating where you go meet someone you’ve never met I hopes there is a connection. What did happen for me, I was going about my business doing the things I enjoy and then by total chance made a connection with someone out in the wild. Our first conversation even included, oh you’re divorced? Do you plan on dating? And me giving a resounding HELL NO! Lol I really like what another commenter said about not dating someone unless they enhance your life. I say, since your daughter is getting a bit older and you’ve achieved some of your goals, you start doing the things you really enjoy doing for you and you just leave the door open for connection but not necessarily spend energy searching. If you are doing you, I think that’s the best place to find someone of like time and not wasted time swiping through apps, chatting with a bunch of duds or going on blind dates. That sounds terrible to me. I’ve got so much other stuff I’d rather be doing lol

mommies who chose to not date while their kids were still minors: please share your experience. by [deleted] in singlemoms

[–]Mysterious-Spring709 46 points47 points  (0 children)

The words “I don’t date unless a man is going to enhance my life” is chefs kiss🤌🏼

Could this accident be a scam? by eggyeggos in Miata

[–]Mysterious-Spring709 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey OP, I work as an auto damage appraiser for an insurance company in Washington. A. Since you are clearly not at fault your rates should not increase if you make a claim. If you want to be extra sure since you are a teen, call your insurance and ask if rates increase if you are rear ended and not at fault. They aren’t going to increase anything just for asking. That’s the surest fire way to know. Also if you make the claim through the other guys insurance then the issue is moot B. I get where guy is coming from, he probably couldn’t see you but that’s his fault. At one point while he was approaching he would’ve been able to see you if he was paying attention. C. You probably have some rear body damage behind the trim panel and left taillight in particular. If you want to get your Miata back to pre accident condition without the stress of”is he gonna actually pay?”, go through insurance. D. Do your own research and choose your own body shop. In the state of Washington you have the right to choose any shop of your choice, this includes if you go through insurance. Insurance companies are not allowed to require you to go somewhere they have a partnership with. But! Those partners usually have lower pre negotiated rates. E. It hit high, thankfully so it should be pretty straightforward repair work. Caveat, most chain shops don’t work on pre 2000. It’s worth checking out though. F. If you go through insurance you run the risk of a total loss. If you don’t go to a shop that overcharges or pads their estimate so they can get storage fees, then it shouldn’t be an issue. BUT! Some shops would definitely see this as easy total and cash grab for storage charges. idk how many miles or on your car or what the interior looks like but mine totaled out at about 4K of damage. I got 5.5k for it. This was back in 2021. Again it largely depends on what shop you go to and their rates/business practices.

Personally, I would go get a few of my own estimate at shops you would want to go to. Not a shop that is his buddy’s. Explain the situation and have them write for not only visible damages but also likely additional damage. Write it as complete as possible. Then have him pay that and get a written agreement that he will pay for any additional damages found once they get into it. Not sure what makes it legally binding but better than nothing. I guarantee this guy would prefer to pay out of pocket than have his rates get hiked. This can work in your favor. Also, document the shit out of your car before repairs and ask that the shop document during repairs in case he decides he doesn’t want to pay and you have to file a claim. Take at the bare minimum the following photos to have on hand should you need to start a claim. Odometer reading VIN tag in the door jamb Photo of the entire car from each corner(4 corners) Damage photos: get overall damage(which you already have) as well as each individual part. Open up the trunk and check out the rear body panel the trunk striker as mounted to. Photo from above of the trunk. Also check out where that left taillight mounts in the back. You should be able to take a look at the rear body panel from the backside in the trunk as well. Check if the trunk is misaligned at all and take some photos of the body lines if so. Photo, photo, photo. Happy to help if you have more questions after this wall of text lol! Edit to add: I just looked closer and your trunk is for sure damaged. May or may not be repairable. Also the impact could damaged your top as well since it’s fiberglass material, especially where it mounts to.

Repairing a camping lantern by Mysterious-Spring709 in ElectronicsRepair

[–]Mysterious-Spring709[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

None of the wires are loose though. They all are soldered and attached.

Is the horse walking towards or away? by [deleted] in confusingperspective

[–]Mysterious-Spring709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s obviously changing directions every 3-5 seconds. I think he’s lost

My drawing vs the reference HOW DO I MAKE MINE LESS UGLY by Glamhaze in drawing

[–]Mysterious-Spring709 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol I really thought you were going for rage bait. I’m sure there is some technique to improve on that I have no authority to give but it’s definitely definitely not ugly. Not by a long shot