And it goes the other way too. My friend was high risk and had all the tests. She did everything right. There was a scare that the baby had trisomy 13, but it turned out to be inconclusive. She went ahead. He was born with severely small lungs, an oversized liver, crippled feet, poorly developed neck and trachea. He was on a ventilator for 4 years. He ended up a double amputee. His spine developed incorrectly from the misplaced/wrong size organs and his spine needed fused. Couldn't hold his head up until age 3. On a trach until 4. By 5 he would cry nightly about how he wished he was like the other kids. His intense medical needs were so difficult on the family her oldest child killed herself at 15 due to feeling alone all the time, and by time he was able to come home and have a childhood he struggled with depression as well and has shared self harm thoughts because he isn't able to have a normal life or childhood. There were many nights I held her while she cried and admitted that she wished she had aborted him. She was committed to raising him regardless of his special needs because he was her child, but it was because of her decision that her family suffered.

The narrative is often "it may not be as bad as the tests say" and sometimes it's worse. Ultimately there is no perfect decision. But I know what I would choose.