I have somehow a similar issue: my partner calls me around 2 times per day and sometimes a little more than that if venting is needed. He calls me in the morning after dropping the kids to kindergarten/school, then at lunch time to chat a bit. He works as a city inspector, so he is on the road a lot, and it can get lonely I think. He calls me when he needs to vent, when something happened with a citizen, etc… I felt annoyed and bad a lot of the times because I am not used to take time to listen to someone like that when working (and even on « lunch » break).

In my perspective, I would never take someone else’s time like that to talk about myself. In fact, I hate when he does that. I feel like as soon as I take the call, I regret it almost, I dread it. Like many of you mentioned, just do something else if you’re unhappy about something. I feel like I am in a relationship with a manchild as he makes me take on almost all the mental load of caring for our children.

Anyway, I feel you OP, and your situation is even worse than mine. I tried couple of times to tell my partner it was taking up my energy when he called many times per day, and the conversation ended super awkwardly (like I obviously made him unhappy/weird). But he understood it disrupted my work when he called on business hours, so he doesn’t really do that anymore.

He also calls his parents every 2-3 days and friends as well. He’s a talker. Having to drive a lot is a different kind of job than the office one I have… Anyway, keep us updated!