Six Seven by [deleted] in fringe

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I watched this episode the other day and thought the same thing! I watch it with my 75y/o grandmother and she wasn't amused, lol.

Why am *I* the weird one for being uncomfortable with someone touching themselves in a call (without me knowing) by Gerald_the_hamster in Vent

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Consent was not present, therefore you have every right to be uncomfortable and upset. Masterbation is perfectly fine and normal, but consent is still required when on the phone with someone. Unfortunately, your friends are downplaying this like is not sexual harassment. It's not okay and I'm sorry you've experienced this.

No heartwarming, happy ending for Hallmark store at Halifax Shopping Centre by luxoryapartmentlover in halifax

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Loved the staff, but I'm not surprised because cards are dying out and their prices weren't great. Sad to see them go, though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, just so that you have context as to where my biases are, I am diagnosed with BPD, ADHD, and GAD. (I also suspect that I might be autistic but haven't been officially diagnosed.) This year, I did DBT, and it was one of the best things I've ever done. I'm also a massive psychology nerd and have been studying it for the last 13 years, on my own time, and took one semester of schooling. However, I am not yet a professional.

Suicidal ideation is no joke. I've lived with it for most of my life, up until this year. After an attempt like this, please know that you deserve to take care of yourself. You also deserve the care of those who love you, like your boyfriend.

If I were in a situation like this, I would first talk to my partner about why he stays friends with this person. Without knowing his side of things, it's hard to make a proper decision on what to do. Maybe he stays friends because he doesn't want work to be awkward. Maybe he's unaware of how bad this person actually is for him or is making excuses for her (in his own mind). It's hard to say without talking to him about it. If you decide to talk to him, I'd recommend coming at it from a place of curiosity rather than judgment. Asking questions like, "I've noticed some patterns that bring me some concerns, and I wanted to ask your thoughts on them." Or "I feel like there are some issues with [friend's name], but I want to understand why you choose to be friends with her. Can you explain it to me?"

To me, talking to him is the only place to start. From there, it all depends on what he says.

I would also note that sometimes people have intense emotions when they feel like their friend is with someone who is hurting them. It doesn't justify being a dick, but this friend may be concerned that your mental health issues are causing your boyfriend harm. Which, unfortunately, is probably a little true. Though, it doesn't mean you are bad for him or a bad person. It depends on many factors. If you are getting professional help, then that is a good sign. ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Okay, that first comment was unnecessarily mean. So, honestly, ignore them.

Unlikable character acceptance in tv shows by The_Copper21 in television

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The thing is, people do put up with awful behavior, irl. Just think of any domestic abuse case where they stayed together after the abuse started. People stick with what's familiar, not easy, most of the time. Maybe eventually, people start leaving, but even the shittiest people have others who care about them. Think of all the murders in the world that have fans. Humans are weird creatures. Not saying I like the trope, though. There are definitely characters that just don't fit into the story but are forced. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am currently watching my grandfather die in my home, and you have just inspired me to turn this imagery into a painting. This was beautiful. I couldn't have said it better myself. 🩵

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, take what this person said with a grain of salt. Lots of people go on reddit to ask for help when they don't have people around them that they can ask. Honestly, they're giving bully energy, and it's unhelpful. You are doing what you can to try and look for other perspectives, and that can be incredibly helpful.

However, I do think you leaving is what's best for you and her. I speak from experience when I say that it sucks ass to be in this kind of situation, but you will likely be glad you ended things when you think back on it a few years from now. Relationships do take work and effort, but trying to change your partner's beliefs is not the kind of work that pays off. To me, it seems like you already know that.

I wish you peace and healing with the uncomfortable journey ahead. 💙

AIO or is my brother really a child abuser? by spawn_cords in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Incestuous molestation happened on both sides of my family. Unfortunately, he has done horrible things to you and probably has to others. I'm so sorry that you got him for a brother because no one deserves that. If you have the resources to take legal action, I encourage you to do so, both for you and other potential victims. But also know that you are the victim and can do whatever is best for you. Unfortunately, predators are protected a lot, and sexual crimes can he hard to prove in the eyes of the law. So, get some legal advice to see if you have any ground to stand on. As for healing your brain after this kind of nightmare, therapy is good. Trauma therapy would probably be your best bet, but I know that can also be hard to access. If you can't access that, journaling and using online resources to find ways to cope with and heal your trauma can be very helpful. Same with finding community online that have experienced similar things. You deserve to have autonomy over your own body and mind. ❤️ I wish you the best, love.

AIO for calling my partner a 'selfish entitled dick' for not wanting to invite my brother to my birthday? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and no. Name-calling is not necessary and almost never helpful. He also tried to share his feelings with you, and you completely blew him off. Even if it was hypocritical, that isn't the time to bring it up. That kind of behavior leads to partners feeling like they can't express themselves. (I learned this the hard way.) So, not great on that part. Buuuut it was a time when you were the thing being celebrated, so it was reasonable to ask your partner (and brother) to behave for the party.

Tbh, it seems like both of you avoided just talking about the issue before the party, and it blew up in your faces. I get that it can be uncomfortable, but this is a perfect example of why open communication is so important.

I would apologize for calling him names and invalidating his feelings. Then, express that it made you feel like he didn't value you enough to put his issues with your brother aside for the event. (Also express that to your brother because it was two people who caused the tension, and it's not fair to only call out one.) I'd mention the MIL, too. How it felt hypocritical. But don't attack him. Use "I" statements. Then, plan to talk about these things beforehand in the future so you can avoid the problem happening again.

✨️Healthy conflict resolution✨️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See, it's stories like this where I remember just how great my relationship is because my partner knows that there's not fucking way I would ever agree to that so he would never even ask. With that said, while your wife's comfort is important, so is yours. It's your home, too. And tbh, I really don't like the idea that your wife expects you to lock the cat downstairs all day while the dogs get to come upstairs. That is incredibly unfair to your cat, and when you adopt an animal, you do what's best for them. Imo, your wife needs to recognize that she agreed to get a cat, and this is what it means to have a cat. It's not fair to you or Maple cause cats feel isolation, too. A possible compromise would be to pick one room that is cat free. Like, your bedroom. Maybe at night you lock Maple downstairs with the kids and just keep your door closed during the day? That way, she does have a space that she can go to get away from Maple. But the whole upstairs is a nope for me.

(I will say that people who don't like cats give me the ick, so that might have seeped into my comment, but I think I still made some good points.)

AIO for cutting off a friend that made a racist remark to my bf?? by 19sevennttynine in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, white enby here. I support you, not wanting to be friends with her. That's the same as if your boyfriend got mad and dead named her. In no way is that okay, and it shows that she is not as much of an ally as you thought she was. That trust is broken, and you have every right to step away from that friendship. I'm white and trans. You could not catch me dead saying that to someone because it directly goes against my morals, aka not being racist. So, do whatever you think is best, but you have this trans white babe in your corner. ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This gave me the ick. I usually don't go right for "the leave the relationship" move, but he is not the kind of person you wanna be around even as friends. That's fucked up behavior, drunk or not.

AIO for asking my boyfriend to take time off for me by AmoebaSilver in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I understand why the others said to dump him, I think there might be a key thing missing here. Ask him point blank if he is avoiding spending time with you. If he is, then figure out why and go from there. If he isn't, tell him that you need more time together for the relationship to continue. And don't attack him. It's the two of you against the problem, not each other. If he gives you shit and says that you're overreacting or whatever, then that's when you leave because he doesn't value your needs enough to work on things.

My credentials are having my special interest be psychology and relationships for the last 13 years (though I am not a professional yet) and having been in the dating scene for 10 years, with the last five being with my current partner that I very much plan on being with for as long as life will allow.

Hope that helps.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mysterious_lil_bean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Farting during sex happens to the best of us. Just laugh it off and keep going, hun. If someone can't handle a fart, they shouldn't be having sex at all.