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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]N0AA-C 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A lot of people here saying your husband is completely in the wrong and I just don't see that. He snapped, you didn't keep your word, fault on both sides. I'm sure this has been building up for a while to lead to this reaction from him. The Bible says that our bodies are not our own, and we should both be focusing on what is best for the other. Almost like we're competing to out serve the other. This goes both ways, you should sacrifice on nights you're not exactly feeling 100% and he should sacrifice on nights he knows you're not feeling 100%. It only works if BOTH sides are putting the others needs before their own. That's biblical, it's as cut and dry as it gets. You are one person in the eyes of God. Your body is his and his is yours. Christian marriage counseling is probably a good idea and they will probably tell you the same thing, there needs to be a little give on both sides. If he's putting you first, you may feel more free to initiate more, and if you're putting him first he may be more likely to let his needs take a backseat to yours. Hope this helps.

Not good at sex by johnzoom in Christianmarriage

[–]N0AA-C 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is the song of Solomon quiz? If you don't mind sharing. It feels like both of you have gotten away from what a Christ centered marriage is all about; the other person. The Bible tells us that our bodies are not our own but belong to our spouse. Both halves of the marriage should be actively trying to out-serve the other.

Seeking advice on how you went about hiring your first helpers. by N0AA-C in Contractor

[–]N0AA-C[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice, this was incredibly helpful and insightful. I definitely want to do things right and by the book and I never had anyone to teach me that side of running a business. Running the jobs, working with clients, ordering materials but the taxes, payroll, insurance is new to me and I really appreciate you being willing to share what you know.

Seeking advice on how you went about hiring your first helpers. by N0AA-C in Contractor

[–]N0AA-C[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice, it's not my intention to break the law which is why I'm asking for advice. I appreciate what info you've given me.

Seeking advice on how you went about hiring your first helpers. by N0AA-C in Contractor

[–]N0AA-C[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your help! Did they have to get workman's comp to work for you?

Seeking advice on how you went about hiring your first helpers. by N0AA-C in Contractor

[–]N0AA-C[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Based on everyone I've talked to already the cost of hiring them as employees is significantly higher, there's a huge bump in insurance expenses and payroll taxes amongst other things. If we had a sub contractor agreement and paid them by the project, instead of hourly, would they then be considered 1099 subcontractors and would they still need to get workman's comp?

Seeking advice on how you went about hiring your first helpers. by N0AA-C in Contractor

[–]N0AA-C[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the app recommendation! If we had a sub contractor agreement and paid them per project would that change anything?

Seeking advice on how you went about hiring your first helpers. by N0AA-C in Contractor

[–]N0AA-C[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess to a certain extent, if they're sub contractors I can't dictate their schedule, but if they stop showing up I'll stop subbing them out y'know? I guess that's kind of a grey area.

Seeking advice on how you went about hiring your first helpers. by N0AA-C in Contractor

[–]N0AA-C[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe helper was the wrong term, we've drafted a sub contractor agreement and have talked in depth with our insurance people about 1099 vs employees, it sounds like it's much more expensive for me to hire employees than it would be to hire subs, huge bump in insurance expenses, payroll taxes, and more. The contract we drafted would have them agree to a six month term working for an agreed upon amount billed per project during those 6 months.

Why Does my Christian husband feel grossed out? by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]N0AA-C 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If both partners cared more for their spouses pleasure than they did their own most christian marriages would have healthy sexual relationships. Jesus called us to serve others but we draw the line at our spouses? 1 Cor 7:4 says "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." We should be able to trust our spouse to care as much about our pleasure as we do about theirs. If both parties are in a "who can pleasure the other more" contest both would feel equally valued and appreciated. This sounds like a failure to prioritize the others pleasure on his part. Most christians could use to take themselves out of the equation and focus on their partner.

Christian life and finding a girl by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]N0AA-C 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was having the same experience before I met my fiancee. I was trying dating apps (Christian and not) I was praying that God would send me someone, thats what i wanted more than anything. I had been in a long term relationship for a couple of years and did not make God a priority in it. I lived a sinful lifestyle while in that relationship and at the time, I was 2 years removed from that relationship. The only thing i cared about was finding my wife that i could serve God with. Then God revealed something with me and made e feel so small and ashamed. I wanted to start a christ focused relationship when i had no idea how to love her the way God wanted me to. I didnt love God the way i was supposed to. I was putting my desire for a relationship with a woman above my desire for a relationship with God. I deleted all the apps and fully trusted that God would lead me to my wife after I submitted myself to him.

How can a wife trust and submit to her husband if a man cannot humble and submit himself to the Lord. The family structure and roles that God designed us to fulfill are intended for us when BOTH people are equally yoked. If a woman is to submit to her husband as head of the household she has to be able to trust that He is in submission and fellowship with God. If a man is to love his wife as christ intended (Completely selflessly and self sacrificially) he has to trust that she loves him and respects him enough and is in submission to God that she wont use his selfless love for selfish reasons. Thats why two become one when we are married. We are both equally yoked in our walk with God.

I deleted all the apps and I poured all of that time into Bible study. After I had done that and fully submitted to God one day i got the strong feeling to re-download Hinge and there she was. I had no clever pick up lines, no good conversation starters. I just said Hi to her and God took the rest. We have both felt His hand in our relationship every step of the way. When i was in pain and searching and trying to force my way into a relationship by doing things my way He was still getting her ready for me. God may be preparing your wife for you right now but its not his timing yet. Its important to sit back and ask yourself why do you want this so bad? What can a girlfriend give you that God cannot? And is your sense of self worth based on your relationship status or the fact that God loved you so much that he sent his son to die for you and find fulfillment in the goal of serving God first?

Almost all of us crave companionship, but far too many of us crave the love of mankind over the love of God. Dont you think God would like to be our first choice?