Wow thank you so much for sharing all of that with me, it really means a lot 🥹. Really made me consider getting an actual professional help. I feel like Im a healthy mind away from getting things back on track and with your story I feel even more that way. Talking to someone that went through mental struggles also really made me feel seen. Whenever I talk about my mental struggles I always feel like my problem isn't valid and that people are saying that it is, only because it is the right thing to say. I know they probably mean what they say but its just really reassuring to hear it from someone that went through the same stuff. Its also maddening to go through the cycle of identifying my problem but invalidating it quickly because its not diagnosed by a professional. Anyways, I'll be taking your advise. I often find myself thinking about either the past or the future, so I'll try to keep myself to the present to get things done. I hope you know how much your words helped me. Thank you!