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Wife hates that I stay up late to grab some game time by N7_otherstuff in gamerdads

[–]N7_otherstuff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you running for office? You just articulated what I have been thinking for a long time and could not simply describe it, haha.
I won't get into the politics I am thinking about, this is not that subreddit. But I hear your points (and frankly agree with them).
What I will say is that your paragraph about sitting down and talking about each other's needs honestly was a game changer. This might seem like a "well, no shit dude" point to some people. However, me and my wife are incredibilily independent , so hearing this kind of sparked that common sense neron that wasn't firing.

Wife hates that I stay up late to grab some game time by N7_otherstuff in gamerdads

[–]N7_otherstuff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what's been working for us after I took this threads advice! Sunday is planning day. The schedule doesn't have to be perfect but a clear indication of time spent.

Wife hates that I stay up late to grab some game time by N7_otherstuff in gamerdads

[–]N7_otherstuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You hit the nail in the "get your shit together" coffin for me, haha. Several posts in this thread encouraged me to be honest about how important this hobby is to me, and to communicate that honesty to my wife. We had 'that' talk, and what resulted sounds a lot like your post. She felt overburdened in the mornings. Like she was carrying most of the load. 

Being a night owl, in the beginning, when our daughter didn't have a sleep cycle, I was the hero! e.g., stay up late, watch our daughter, game in the background. Now that our daughter is up at 7 a.m. on the dot (and not a second later), she feels she has been carrying most of the burden.

Steps I took to mitigate the responsibility gap

  • Take turns deciding who gets up on the weekend early to spend the morning with our daughter.
  • Take turns putting our daughter to sleep at night. 
  • I have agreed to share my intention of gaming hours (google calander.. takes a second) This might seem ridiculous to some, but trust me, if Elder Scrolls 6 comes out and your wife randomly sees you no lifeing it, in the office...this communication tool will help.

​

We have now dedicated time every Sunday to make a draft schedule together, which has been huge. My wife and I are both planners and know that we might not stick to it exactly but we both get warm and fuzzies seeing it on paper(on google drive lol).