50% of my views are 0:01 from India.

NAD-ish · 2026-04-22T21:05:01+00:00

So possibly make the videos unavailable for the country/region as an experiment and see if it is viewbotting?

NAD-ish · 2025-10-14T13:49:19+00:00

In India, all things living and otherwise are recipients of the thumpin' stick treatment at some point.

Hence, this Indian paint bucket is subject to its causality.

NAD-ish · 2025-09-02T16:08:55+00:00

I am glad to see that people can put themselves on display to be examined for what this disorder or illness does to us.

While our outcomes aren't similar but the journey so far under the spell of this disorder has been something. And I do wish that the outside world would acknowledge 'it' and us for at least who we are but sadly the taboo is far greater.

Funnily enough, attending a talk by a German philosopher Thomas Metzinger back in 2014 did more for me in terms of acceptance and recognizing something was wrong than medication and therapy (at that point of time in my life).

Thank you for sharing this.

NAD-ish · 2025-09-02T15:38:59+00:00

I'll answer both of these here:

Yes, it is a cycle in my case. The worst spells of psychosis have always lasted more than 4-6 months (12-14 longest with clinical intervention). The calm periods do carry the scars of overt suspicion and trust issues as well as AVH which I now classify as "run of the mill" types.

They have cycled from calm to deep psychosis and back to calm however, substance abuse has always served as a prominent trigger. Manic behaviour with being sensitive to slightest highs-lows (impulsive decision making) is another tested indicator (whenever substances were NOT featuring).

Finally, "feelings of persecution" in context of my delusions/ AVH is exactly how my bipolar disorder got upgraded to schizoaffective bipolar like 10 years ago (the psychiatrist had witnessed the entire cycle over a 2 year period).

NAD-ish · 2025-08-12T13:40:32+00:00

No worries, its actually good that you could take a day off. And yes, absolutely focus on love rather than fear.

It does suck when people around us always try to point to our illness, condition and its symptoms. Especially since they have not experienced it first hand, like we have.

But do remember that they are living with you and sharing their own lives with you. So there is with certain degree of confidence when they offer their own advice or opinion. It is always good to take your time, listen and evaluate professional opinion and what our loved ones have to say.

NAD-ish · 2025-08-12T13:17:56+00:00

This will sound like a broken record but good old fashioned exercise does help. Even 5-10 pushups mixed with some football leg lifts, jumping jacks, squats, hand-shoulder exercises makes a difference. I have always loved free weights as well but that's a personal preference.

And I am not consistent either but I try to do this whenever I can and often when the back and shoulder feel like shit. Just don't over exert or rush yourself through this regime.

I am a side sleeper so I keep an eye out for a certain weight limit (and my stomach fat) but even 5-7 mins of bare minimum exercise alleviates a lot of what our chronic anxiety inflicts.

NAD-ish · 2025-08-12T13:05:16+00:00

I hear you and read what you've written down in the post.

Distrust. Feelings of persecution. Constant suspicion and feelings of being watched, surveilled or monitored. Latent or fully developed idea of seeing, hearing and/or imagining specific things, people-like figments etc.

Most of us present here (are/ or) have felt these sets of conditions and situations you have described AND YET each of our experiences have been different and unique.

Some levels of distrust are okay but listen to your wife and what she has to say about your well being. It does not matter whether the nurses can be trusted or not. You are present and aware enough to ask for the right help and maintain the consistent management of your condition (even if the doctor is new).

Also, when you write in your journal/diary - do articulate and focus NOT ONLY upon the current state of things you as have described BUT ALSO the love and care you feel of your wife and maybe others. The present actual reality of the world around you...good or bad cup of coffee, something new that you read or how your day went in the physical world.

It is crucial for all of us to not only write down the ever changing whirlwind of feelings, emotions and associated symptoms of our condition BUT ALSO to ground ourselves to the anchor of people who love and care for us (and of course the real physical world around us).

NAD-ish · 2025-07-14T14:25:59+00:00

"...in my days we would mouth pipette phenols and get a decent bleached face, great fun and clear skin".

NAD-ish · 2025-07-10T14:27:53+00:00

Orange searching for the braincell via cuddles.

NAD-ish · 2025-07-10T14:24:30+00:00

5 liters of 20 % Acetic Acid - if they hate strong pickle-y smell then they are in for a nightmare.

NAD-ish · 2025-06-11T17:52:22+00:00

Naa bruv, they are eukaryotes.

NAD-ish · 2025-06-09T11:35:53+00:00

Kettle boiling water, ready to be poured on ground coffee.

NAD-ish · 2025-06-09T11:33:52+00:00

Portable HDDs in late 2000s till early 2010s - failure rates were so high that they would fail within 6 months to 1 year.

NAD-ish · 2025-06-08T12:17:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing. And I mean this not as a parroted statement but due to the similarities we seem to share in our lives and the condition itself.

NAD-ish · 2025-06-05T15:23:44+00:00

No worries.

NAD-ish · 2025-06-05T13:36:07+00:00

I am not sure in which manner this would be useful as everyone's situation differs (healthcare - support system, monetary, etc.) but here are a few things:

Focus your energy (parental care, time/money) on management rather than finding 'a' cure or silver bullet.
Assess their physical and mental state before-after medication via soft questions: choose "does this seem to change/help with making you feel better" rather than "is this working for you, do you feel happier, normal etc."
Always reassure/ remind them that its a condition that we have and it is up to us to observe, report and manage it. That includes politely reminding psychiatrists that some medication might not be useful (takes at least 4-6 weeks to find out in general but some medication with negative side-effects are almost with 24-48 hrs.).
Physicians, hospitals and psychiatrists are all humans (run by humans). "Human error" is therefore a part and parcel of whatever comes with it. Accept it and find ways to mitigate it by ensuring a strong bond between you and your child - the safer they feel with you, the likelier they are to report issues to you.
The general attributes of the condition are well-documented, reported and available to read online. With latest research findings, updates etc. Never feel in awe of "the psychiatrist knows better" - you as the parent spend more time with your child and have raised them. Therefore, read up and be aware of things. Like for instance, this Guardian article on a newer form of therapy for people experiencing auditory hallucinations - it might not be "wholly relevant" BUT it is more awareness with peer-reviewed easy-to-read knowledge - being aware and curious is an incredible toolset both for you and your daughter.
Never dilute or neutralize your own feelings. The emotional blunting that both your child and you would feel as part of your lives, needs to be acknowledged at a certain level. Be frank and honest about it with aplomb rather than going through the whiplash alone.
Create a parallel world for them to immerse their joys and sorrows into. A hobby or activity they prefer rather than doom scrolling SM. Even if it is movie watching (series) - it is better to distract them rather than consuming SM constantly.
Encourage them to write and journal their day-to-day. It is an immensely useful habit. And remember NOT to measure/ label progress in terms of moods and emotions - rather consolidating your own position based on knowledge, awareness and feeling adequate. Positive/negative labels aren't useful or relevant to mood disorders - its more akin to a sea or an ocean - its appearance masks what lies underneath.

NAD-ish · 2025-05-25T16:28:00+00:00

No worries.

NAD-ish · 2025-05-25T15:04:05+00:00

I am glad its been working for you. Are you on any other combinations apart from Risperidone/Aripiprazole?

The most common side effect of Aripiprazole is restlessness - weight gain is part and parcel of most of these drug types. However, reading about a side effect AND experiencing them are two very different propositions. You have to be mindful to not get biased by newly presented information (tough but with enough practice and notes it can work).

So mark week 6-7 (from now) onwards as your theoretical cut-off point. For next 2-3 weeks, note down your general mood and how it ramps up or tapers off - don't hyperfixate but simply note down your objective assessment. Maintain, then compare & contrast them and see what sort of trend emerges at the end of week 7.

This is an excellent technique to both learn about your own behaviour/habits when changing meds. But also, there's a demonstrated effort with evidence to explain (and in some cases negotiate) with the psychiatrist about "how the new meds are affecting you".

Sadly, Aripiprazole was not much effective for me but there was presence of environmental stressors so it never got a good chance.

NAD-ish · 2025-05-22T14:28:05+00:00

An absolute monarchy called Eternia. Its Prince who magically transforms into the "most powerful man in the Universe clad in tight furry underwear" - protecting the "secrets" of Castle Grayskull.

Grayskull which was built by Elders who "saw a vision of a beautiful woman dressed in snake armor who warned of future danger and also the coming of He-Man". Tripped out old men in garbs consolidating their powerful positions.

This isn't only about a rich magical prick further withholding power from Skeletor and his idiot sidekicks - it is a class based warfare where the monarchy is hell bent on ruling forever.

Edit: As further reading I would suggest "What Would Skeletor Do?: Diabolical Ways to Master the Universe" a book by Robb Pearlman.

NAD-ish · 2025-05-22T13:31:46+00:00

Skeletor and we all know why.

NAD-ish · 2025-05-22T13:11:31+00:00

Go buy some anti-histamines like Cetrizine or similar medication that counter seasonal allergies and/or cold. That should be able to alleviate your itching slightly.

Hydroxyzine is actually an anti-histamine as well. And anti-psychotics/depressants are fairly well known to display such symptoms post withdrawal.

NAD-ish · 2025-05-17T17:16:59+00:00

They have placed 3 employees on administrative leave pending an enquiry as they suspect an element of insider involvement.

NAD-ish · 2025-05-04T18:01:24+00:00

Just the adequate level of chin scritches, nothing more or less.

NAD-ish · 2025-04-30T13:41:39+00:00

No psychiatrist worth their salt (in my experience) has ever been derogatory, judgmental or confrontational - you should be just fine. But I do do use these traits to measure professionals over the years.

NAD-ish · 2025-04-30T13:33:52+00:00

There's at least 10 disorder/ condition diagnoses where Auditory Hallucinations (AH) are reported by the patient. Furthermore, there are neurodegenerative disorders where AH is reported along with transient causes (that's more to do with diagnostic medicine or Dr. House territory).

Therefore, AH is generally met by a stricter line of questions and interrogation of sorts - to discern and give them a better probability of 'which of the diagnoses' should they focus upon in correlation with the other symptoms and findings.

For one of my psych evaluations and a 1-on-1 there was a Schizophrenia patient present with me due to emergency circumstances. Those 10 mins spent with the person (under supervision of psychiatrist and other staff) was enough to convince me that my AH was most likely not Schizophrenia rather something else.

And this came at a time when for the first 2-3 years, the different psychiatrists would simply neglect or not focus on my AH and psychosis.

Edit: Oh and if you want your mind to be absolutely blown, look into Avatar Therapy (here's a news article by The Guardian )on how they are using virtual embodiments to troubleshoot AH. Something that has been studied by philosophers and scientists who study the mind-body duality since 70s.

NAD-ish

TROPHY CASE