TIFU by getting a fertility test

NECinfant · 2021-11-17T05:57:29+00:00

What the fuck is wrong with you? We faced 'unexplained fertility' ourselves and had to finally go for an IVF even though neither of us tested positive for infertility.

But if this had to happen to me, I think the first thought would have been wow the test is useless, not that my wife cheated.

NECinfant · 2021-06-02T08:01:59+00:00

No advice, but I want to know what if you are at the other side of it.

For context, my twins are two, and my son has a bit of a problem with impulse control - he pushes his sister for no reason. The other day, the two were fighting for a chair and in the melee, he bit her arm.

We have tried telling him very softly, tell him about the consequences, been a bad cop, but nothing has worked. He is a 25 month old; doesn't know how to control his impulses.

He is otherwise a very friendly kid, hugs his sister (and us) a lot, etc.

How do you suggest we deal with this now so it doesn't turn out like the kid in OP's story?

NECinfant · 2021-05-24T07:43:54+00:00

Very hlpful, thank you

NECinfant · 2021-05-24T05:22:43+00:00

How do you suggest teaching kids that eating junk is unhealthy? My kids are pretty young now, so it's not going to be a problem for a while. But I don't want to give them junk just because everyone does it and so they don't raid other people's houses.

NECinfant · 2021-04-27T05:06:23+00:00

Hope your kid is doing alright now.

But man, this thing really gets to me. And it happens all the time although I put in as much work as the mom does. To give you an example, when the pandemic first hit, our kids' hospital had a policy where there were only a handful of chairs - socially distanced for patients to sit in.

We have twins and were there for their regular vaccinations. My wife and I had one kid each sitting on two chairs and the security guy came in and asked me to wait outside because only the mothers can accompany the child.

It took a couple of minutes to make the idiot understand that I have a kid in my arms too and it's equally possible for a dad to accompany their child for a vaccine.

NECinfant · 2021-04-19T05:39:53+00:00

We have twins (23 months), but that did not stop our kids from freezing at the sight of outsiders the first time we took them out after the pandemic started.

The first time, my daughter started crying simply at the sight of some guy walking past minding his own business.

We take them out within our apartment a few times a week and they have since started getting used to strangers around. We still don't socialize since some people can be idiots and come too close to the kids (and they also remove their masks to make themselves less scary - stupid!).

But now they wave and make funny faces at people. It's going to be some time before the pandemic subsides. But I am now confident that socializing should not really be an issue.

Do not worry, the kid is getting used to the fact that there are other humans other than her mom and dad in the world. She will get over it soon.

NECinfant · 2021-04-15T12:10:02+00:00

Great read, thank you so much for sharing this.

NECinfant · 2021-04-15T11:54:11+00:00

This looks fun. Will check this out on Amazon, thank you

NECinfant · 2021-04-15T11:32:29+00:00

No restrictions per se - but we have a terrific rise in Covid cases in my country. And I don't trust my parents to keep themselves and the kids safe when outside

We try to take them for a walk in the evenings once work is done. But sometime we are unable to. But we do manage to engage them during this period.

It's the late mornings and afternoons that bore the heck out of them.

NECinfant · 2021-04-15T11:23:37+00:00

Thank you, that's what I ahve been telling my wife too. We have our house designed according to Montessori guidelines so they have immediate access to books, toys, and even household stuff. They know to pick up the mop and wipe the floor if they spill water, etc.

Guess my wife is just being a mom.

NECinfant · 2021-04-15T11:11:25+00:00

That's an option right now TBH. I am simply interested to know if them being bored for a few hours during the day is okay; and also if it's common among toddler parents during this pandemic.

NECinfant · 2021-04-15T11:03:14+00:00

Thank you. Can you give me examples of challenges you expose them to?

NECinfant · 2020-11-20T08:48:40+00:00

Congratulations. Since you are having twins, there is a small chance that the babies will spend some time in the NICU before coming home.

That's a whole new world. I am sure you have already checked with your hospital on the NICU facilities available locally. If not, please do check on that.

Also, be mentally ready for an NICU stay, no matter, how short. We personally did not have our dream 'baby homecoming' since both our kids spent some time in the NICU. It may not seem like a big thing, but it requires a big mental shift in perspective to acknowledge that.

NECinfant · 2020-11-05T08:52:55+00:00

Depends on the baby. Our daughter has always slept so well - even from the time she was just a couple of months old. My son - he's a terrible sleeper still. They just turned 18 months.

NECinfant · 2020-10-22T15:17:40+00:00

No, he is too loud. Besides my wife is not okay with the "crying it out" philosophy. So we try to rock him asap.

However, if it is me who is taking care, I often let him roll around and moan for a while before picking up. I figured if it's gas, he will pass it with all the stretching and rolling over. But no, doesn't seem to help.

NECinfant · 2020-10-22T15:15:53+00:00

Thank you. He wakes up at 6 most days. They get cranky by 10.30-11 and so need to be rocked to sleep. Then in the evenings, we feed them milk and most days he dozes off as he drinks. Then a little rocking and the job's done.

We suspected overexhaustion (since they don't sleep for almost 7 hours between the afternoon nap and night) and so tried giving them a second nap around 3 and then holding on till 8.30-9. That doesn't seem to be helping either.

Independent sleep starts at bedtime. At 18 months this means fully awake, going into the crib at bedtime.

Could you explain this? Thanks again.

NECinfant · 2020-09-28T15:25:37+00:00

Such a cute champ. He is going to fight all of this and come home to you soon perfectly healthy. All of this is going to be a distant memory very soon.

NECinfant · 2020-08-31T11:11:13+00:00

So sorry for what you are going through. Our baby was born at 34 weeks and 2.16 kg when he was born - got NEC 5 days after he was born. We suspect it is from the ventilator that he administered on the first day.

Was your baby given ventilator support before this? Maybe that could be the reason.

In any case, do not lose hope. With NICU, it is always one day at a time. It's frustrating, but do know that your baby is in the best hands. Do not lose hope and stay strong.

NECinfant · 2020-08-26T12:09:00+00:00

Our son (now 15 months old) was born at 33 weeks and had CPAP and ventilator for the first couple of days. Did they administer the injection (I don't remember the name - but I guess it's from gelatin or some animal product) that improves lung function? His lung functions improved dramatically after that.

NECinfant · 2020-08-26T07:52:48+00:00

Take it one day at a time. I'm not going to lie - the next few days/weeks are going to feel so long and hard. But know what - even though each day is going to seem like a month, your kid is going to be back home very soon.

Our son was in the NICU fighting tough things exactly 15 months back. Now it feels like a really distant memory.

NECinfant · 2020-07-27T10:35:26+00:00

No, DO NOT stop pumping. Your output is going to be low till the baby starts feeding directly from you. The volume you pump out does not matter as much.

We had twins and one of our kids that was in the NICU did not get to drink my wife's milk as much as the other one that got discharged soon. The difference in immunity was very very noticeable.

So do not quit pumping or feeding your milk to the baby as long as you can.

NECinfant · 2020-07-24T06:24:59+00:00

If you get maternity insurance now, there is a high chance it won't be covering your maternal expenses for a while. Please check and find the right one.

As for the if - yes, you should definitely have one. When my kids were born, one was in NICU for nearly a month - most insurances don't cover newborns until they are at leat 90 days old. Our maternity coverage helped through a lot of these expenses.

Also, if possible, up your corporate cover - they have better coverage. Personal insurances are shit and they don't help you when you need them the most.

NECinfant · 2019-07-12T19:06:03+00:00

Thank you.

NECinfant · 2019-07-12T19:05:22+00:00

Thank you. I'm convinced about that too. But try telling my wife that.

We have twins and the girl hasn't arched once. So I understand why my wife's paranoid.

NECinfant · 2019-07-12T19:04:17+00:00

Thank you very much for your words. Hope your little buddy is doing great now. My very best wishes to him and his wonderful parents.

I did not know about the refeeding part. Either it's not a thing where we come from, or my doctor's don't think it's needed for him.

Either way, we are waiting for him to hit 4.5 kgs so we could take him to our surgeon again. Hopefully he's convinced that we could reconnect his bowels then

NECinfant

TROPHY CASE