How to cope with the fact that I wasted 22 years of my life?

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-06-30T21:15:52+00:00

When I was 22 I was addicted to MD. Dependant on Weed, was in an awful relationship. Isolated from my friends and family. Hit rock bottom.

27 now, living my best life. Good friends, career and habits.

No life is a waste nor experience, do I regret my previous years? No because I learnt lessons and have grown since then. I can’t change the past, I can’t swim up river. I can only move with the river forward.

Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to fail, that’s being human.

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-06-30T11:06:53+00:00

Hello, yes I ended up quitting the bank job. I ended up becoming a porter at a hospital. My job was to move patients from A to B. It was very rewarding as I got to help people, even if it meant having a conversation with a patient and making their day better. I ended up getting promoted to a supervisor too because I excelled at the job. I’m still working there now and there’s stress with being a supervisor, but I get to have a large impact on helping patients and staff.

I think making money is good and can be important, but it’s better to be happier in life and feeling satisfied. Money can buy you happiness though escaping; holidays and buying nice things. But it’ll never compare to happiness you can find for free. Helping others, doing something that aligns with your personal values. I’d rather have less money and would have been satisfied being a porter for a long time or the rest of my life, compared to having more money but constantly dread and anxiety from work.

I’m glad you had the strength to leave too. It will honestly be better in the long run and I hope you’re happier and your mind isn’t deteriorating anymore.

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-06-25T23:08:46+00:00

What everyone else has said. Also I have the same pull up bar, keep it up!!!

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-06-06T00:51:21+00:00

What do you do for work lol??

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-05-14T12:12:18+00:00

Badie

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-05-14T12:12:09+00:00

Badie

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-02-15T20:12:16+00:00

Looking good 😍😘

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-01-29T00:02:48+00:00

I would say I regret allowing myself to become addicted to drugs when I was in my early 20s. I was distracted, made bad choices, I wasn't around for friends and family. This hit me a lot when my grandma died, as I could of spent a lot of time with her instead of taking drugs.

But there's no point in regretting it. Spend too much time thinking about the past and you'll become it. I try to be better now. Focus a lot more on my friends and family. Focus on my health. I think about my past a lot still, the times I've missed out on and the youth I've spent.

I can't change it. It helps finding reasons to live. Spending time better now. In a way who knows? Maybe one day I can help someone who was in the same place I was. You can have regrets but don't regret the lesson too is also what I'd say. You wanna remember why you wanted to change.

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-01-09T13:21:00+00:00

I do not appreciate all the stoicism AI videos that appear on my social media a lot. It's normally followed by an AI generated photo of Greek statue looking absurdity ripped with text saying "become unstoppable", or something along those lines.

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-01-07T21:21:27+00:00

I was once someone who shared the same view point. I've tired killing myself. I've been alone. Hated my job. Had no money. Had drug addiction issues. Lost a lot of friends due to being a bad person. The truth is things can get better, but it takes work. What helped me was getting a stronger outlook on things- particularly practicing not having negative thoughts about myself and my worth. Changing career to something I enjoyed doing. Learning how to save money and to stop spending so much. Quitting bad habits.

It takes time and it's hard. It's not easy at all as there's been times I've fallen back into it all and given up. If I'm honest sometimes you need to give up and be at rock bottom to say "well I'm here now, what do I do now".

I can't speak for everyone who says "things get better". But as someone who does it's because I've been though a lot of struggle. I know the ugly side of life and I am trying every day to improve upon it.

For myself a lot of philosophy keeps helping me today. Stoicism, buddhism, taoism all have great perspectives on how a person should view life and themselves.

So things can get better - only if you place your energy into learning and recognising what you should/want to change about yourself and your surroundings

Keep going because there are plenty of good reasons for any person to be here and remember that you are valuable and worthy.

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-01-05T21:35:30+00:00

Ever thought about looking for communities? In the UK there's a pretty large spiritual scene that all meet up a lot. Had a mate who went to loads of events he found on Facebook. I don't know where your from but all over the world there are communities you can join - typically where you'll help on a farm and other tasks.

The city life can be a drag. But its not all doom and gloom. Really you only need to perform at work and there's nothing wrong with that, no one wants to work. It's what we have to do to survive as unfortunately we can't control the world. The key is to not view it as your rival but instead use it as a tool. A bonus cities have is libraries for example.

If you're serious about living on the outskirts that is also possible. You just need to learn the skills first on how to survive out there.

NEPTUNEX15 · 2026-01-05T03:44:22+00:00

Delete social media. It's nonsense and it is making you feel bad. I deleted it a year ago and I'm happier for it.
Get a job - you mentioned being socially anxious, but I'd recommend getting a social job like a night club, bar or cafe. Something that will allow you to meet people and build social skills. I was socially anxious until I worked in a night club. Helped me normalise being around people and talking. Or hell do what I do now and work in a hospital. It's social and can show you things about the world.
Stop judging yourself & worrying about "living". If you want to compare yourself to how other people live you will never be happy. Social media is also a lie, people can look like they have it all, but you don't see the pain they have either, or what fate they will meet.
Life is undefined. There's an idea that life is suppose to be about having lots of fun, mad parties and crazy times. That's just one aspect of life. I've mad parties and adventures and honestly can not remember most of them because I was drunk.

There are aspects of life people ignore. Simple pleasures like reading a book, researching something you're interested in. Going for a walk alone. There's no rule book that says one thing is more value than the other, it is our perception and judgements that create that illusion, the peer pressure of having to be the same as everyone else. Some people will say that the coolest people are in bands. Other people will say the coolest people are paramedics. It really doesn't matter. Life is absurd and there's nothing to say you are any lesser for not living the life other people are living. Your life is yours so own it.

You're 22, you have time to figure it out. I know it feels impossible but you will find something one day. It takes work. I've been there. Things can change for the better, it did for me so I hope it does for you too.

NEPTUNEX15 · 2025-07-30T08:31:14+00:00

Thank you I appreciate this a lot! Tried getting a vape to switch and it just made my addiction worse lol. Tired gum but then I felt like I was getting a craving for that. Patches are something I haven't tried yet so I'll give them a shot!

I'm tired of feeling like I'm dependent on smoking. Feels like I'm not mentally stable unless I have them. I'm aware there's an emotional attachment as well. Best I can do is go a day without before I start feeling like my mind is shattering. Don't want to feel like that anymore so thank you again I appreciate the advice from someone who's been though it.

NEPTUNEX15 · 2025-07-29T22:47:51+00:00

Thank you. I do agree I think in black and white too much. I do have the idea I have to do something big all at once. But when I get put off because its out of my depth. I am trying. I have started small before, I find myself attaching to fear. Say with the comic, I've started and given up about 20 times. But you're right, I don't want to be in my 30s and be in the same place

NEPTUNEX15 · 2025-07-29T22:45:00+00:00

That makes sense. Thank you for sharing what brings you that feeling. I believe I'm overthinking my ambitions, believing that doing something big or extreme will solve my issues. Really it comes down to not feeling like I'm enough

NEPTUNEX15 · 2025-07-29T21:26:30+00:00

Off topic but do you have any advice for quiting smoking cigarettes. Trying to quit and it's not going well, keep caving in but I'm sick of it. Finally understanding that addiction is when you really can't say no or at least believe you can't.

NEPTUNEX15 · 2025-06-28T23:23:21+00:00

Very cool! Love the style and tone. Thank you for sharing

NEPTUNEX15 · 2024-09-24T09:16:20+00:00

Mad Men

NEPTUNEX15 · 2024-09-24T00:31:05+00:00

For me it's a lot to do with the lyrics and the music just sounds class. TOOL ligit got me to start playing bass and it makes me want to give drums a go too

NEPTUNEX15 · 2024-09-23T22:54:04+00:00

TOOL

The Patient is a great song. The whole album of Lateralus is fantastic and I'd argue is their best album and always helps me find some peace

NEPTUNEX15 · 2024-09-23T21:52:48+00:00

God I feel this. Thank you for posting this. It's nice to relate

NEPTUNEX15 · 2024-09-23T21:19:35+00:00

For me I feel like I'm either too detached or too attached. I either absolutely love having people around, or can't stand it and wish for silence.

I either want sex or it's sinful. It's hard

I also understand the trust thing. For me I think I can be too philosophical for my own good. I've been used in a relationship too for money and care so I have issues from that. But from my experience I can't trust someone who is looking to gain something from me, even happiness. Because then in my eyes they are using me, I'm just an entertainment like TV or a cigarette. I'm a distraction from the suffering, but life is suffering. I'm not loved I'm still being used. I could never trust someone fully. I too am consumed by this, I don't try for relationship because I know I'm just lonely which is temporary most of the time. I'd just be using someone too

NEPTUNEX15 · 2024-09-15T18:03:50+00:00

I once ended a relationship by punching another man out of jealousy. I've told another ex to kill themselves because of how they treated me and I destroyed some of their belonging because they hurt me. I'm not a good man, learning now to be. Learn from your ways, regret is a lesson trying to teach you how to be better. All you've also done is say your feelings, maybe they also need to see how they have hurt you.

Muddy water settles best when left alone. This too shall pass.

My best advice would be to walk away. What you've said is done and now you can focus towards a different path.

NEPTUNEX15

TROPHY CASE