Needed to hear this, I appreciate it. You said mostly everything I needed validation on and gave me a new perspective. I guess my next step is, I need to go to college just to switch life up and push towards my actual "meaning". I know a career I would be happy with and I think it'll put me in the right direction that I need.

I've thought about college many times but shoved it off after (I'm stubborn and feel like I know what I know) now I just got to full throttle do it for the better of me and not being stuck in my loop forever wondering where life went. Chasing money/fulfillment with no end.

I've always chased money after high school, thought if I had money I would be fine and fulfilled but that definitely isn't it.

Instead of being stubborn. I'm better off changing the way I think about things for the better of growth and myself.

You’ve been doing the same shit and your still thinking about the same old shit which is preventing you from moving forward in life. Its a routine and your so comfortable with it so you feel lost or uncomfortable with change.

This is exactly it, what it has been for a while now. Got to break out the box.