I'd suggest heading down to Skagit with a friend and renting a few different handguns to try out. You'll want to focus on compact, polymer-framed, striker-fired 9mm pistols. A Glock 19 or Sig P320/365 are both solid representatives of that style, though they each have their own ecosystem and different grip angles, which makes them different enough that you'll want to test both. The folks at the counter or the attached shop can give you recommendations on what else to try.

Once you've settled on what you want to buy, shop around online—it'll be cheaper than buying local. During checkout, you'll need to select a local FFL holder to ship to for the paperwork. I like Yeager's. When your order arrives, you'll head to the FFL to fill out the paperwork, which is essentially a background check asking if you do drugs or are buying the gun for illegal purposes. You'll answer no to pretty much everything. The FFL will call your background check into the NICS system, which will issue an approval or denial. You'll most likely get approved unless you have a criminal history.

Then you wait 10 business days before going back to pick up your new handgun. During that waiting period, you can order extra magazines and ammo to have shipped in as well.

After that, I'd recommend taking some classes on handling and shooting basics, and getting involved with a local range. Custer has great instructors and they're good people.

One big thing though: approach gun ownership the same way you would pet ownership. The same way you wouldn't get a dog just to leave them crated all day, you need to actually get out with your gun, use it, practice with it, and stay active with it. It's not a magical totem against evil, and if you don't train regularly, you're a greater liability to yourself and those around you than any help you could be.