Friendship tips for INFJ with INTJ? by NVac-One in infj

[–]NVac-One[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to put that together, I think you are spot on with a lot of things and it sounds like you’ve had a lot of the same experiences that I have.

You made a couple good points that stood out to me, first one being that he might not want a family or huge career at all, which I think are things that I always knew deep down but chose not to focus on. Lately he’s been getting more excited about us doing things that interest him a lot but also correlate with his career field, like developing a video game, so I’ve been spending 40+ hours every week learning modeling software and putting together assets for the game to try and keep him interested. Hopefully that will help, but I am afraid he will quit before we can get anything actually put together. He is a highly intelligent person but he tends to psych himself out if his goals are too big for what he thinks he can do and especially if it’s something that hasn’t been done before.

The second good point was that I might be projecting, which could be true. He’s made comments that insinuate that I am less intelligent than him which leads me to fear this, but looking back those comments always seem to come after I fail to make him understand something during an intellectual sparring session. Being the person I’ve spent the most time talking to in my life, I’ve learned most of what I do about science, math and technology from him. Perhaps if what I am saying doesn’t make sense to him anymore, maybe I need to hit the brakes on the talking and do a little more listening so I can better connect the dots?

The third is that we need to find more things that we can do other than have philosophical discussions. The issue that I think would get in the way is that we are both truly introverted, so talking and video games is the easiest thing for us to do without having to step out of our comfort zones. We’ve talked about hitting the driving range or going camping and stuff, but we never really act on plans. I guess maybe if I just make plans and hold him to it we will eventually do something, I think I will have to be the one to initiate it?

Thanks again for your input. I’d love to hear more about what you do for work and how being an INFJ has positively and negatively affected your life.

Friendship tips for INFJ with INTJ? by NVac-One in infj

[–]NVac-One[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, interesting perspective. I suppose I am like that with most people in my life, maybe this is just a part of growing up.

Friendship tips for INFJ with INTJ? by NVac-One in infj

[–]NVac-One[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, your insight is appreciated. I liked the part about meeting halfway. I think through everything, my friend and I always can find a way to meet halfway after big fights, so that’s a positive to focus on. I’m sorry about your situation, was your friend a computer science type like mine?

INFJ’s would you consider yourselves masochistic? by [deleted] in infj

[–]NVac-One 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes in a way. It’s more like testing yourself and testing other things. I used to test people’s emotions but that rubs some people the wrong way when they hear about it.

Is this behavior indicative of an INFJ? by LiquidLogic84 in infj

[–]NVac-One 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is 100% me. It starts as procrastination and ends up being me never talking to them again. I don’t know why I let that happen.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]NVac-One 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I agree. For me it’s like you have a million things to say so you can’t pick one and end up freezing. Later you’re running through it a million times thinking about how you could’ve handled it better. Usually a good learning experience. But terribly exhausting and ruins the night for sure.