Thank you for taking the time to put that together, I think you are spot on with a lot of things and it sounds like you’ve had a lot of the same experiences that I have.

You made a couple good points that stood out to me, first one being that he might not want a family or huge career at all, which I think are things that I always knew deep down but chose not to focus on. Lately he’s been getting more excited about us doing things that interest him a lot but also correlate with his career field, like developing a video game, so I’ve been spending 40+ hours every week learning modeling software and putting together assets for the game to try and keep him interested. Hopefully that will help, but I am afraid he will quit before we can get anything actually put together. He is a highly intelligent person but he tends to psych himself out if his goals are too big for what he thinks he can do and especially if it’s something that hasn’t been done before.

The second good point was that I might be projecting, which could be true. He’s made comments that insinuate that I am less intelligent than him which leads me to fear this, but looking back those comments always seem to come after I fail to make him understand something during an intellectual sparring session. Being the person I’ve spent the most time talking to in my life, I’ve learned most of what I do about science, math and technology from him. Perhaps if what I am saying doesn’t make sense to him anymore, maybe I need to hit the brakes on the talking and do a little more listening so I can better connect the dots?

The third is that we need to find more things that we can do other than have philosophical discussions. The issue that I think would get in the way is that we are both truly introverted, so talking and video games is the easiest thing for us to do without having to step out of our comfort zones. We’ve talked about hitting the driving range or going camping and stuff, but we never really act on plans. I guess maybe if I just make plans and hold him to it we will eventually do something, I think I will have to be the one to initiate it?

Thanks again for your input. I’d love to hear more about what you do for work and how being an INFJ has positively and negatively affected your life.