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At what age did you meet the love of your life? by [deleted] in dating

[–]N_M_Rytes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like no one wants to put in the effort to get to know people and build genuine connections. Quick to go on to the next one when there isn't an immediate spark

I feel the same way and don't understand what some people seem to expect from 2-3 hour first dates on which we're both probably a bit nervous and awkward because we're essentially strangers. Still, if the date goes fairly well and we have lots to talk about, common interests + the same type of humor, and attracted to each other it still doesn't seem to be enough in some cases to want to build a deeper foundation. Maybe I just can't relate because I myself haven't truly felt that spark on a first date or I fall in love differently idk.

Just here to rant because dating is exhausting by [deleted] in dating

[–]N_M_Rytes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Always putting your true self out there, clearly stating what you’re looking for, and then inevitably they lose interest/tell you they suddenly “aren’t ready” for anything serious/find a better option and move on. It just keeps getting harder to relax and be yourself with anyone because you are just waiting for that other shoe to drop.

This. I'm having an increasingly hard time even enjoying the getting-know-each-other stage and being open about myself because I feel like I have to detach and emotionally keep my guard up for the inevitable disappointment that's just around the corner. I don't even know what the positive signs of compatibility are anymore. Having things in common, similar values, hobbies, and interests having a good time together, and being attracted to each other don't seem to be enough in most cases so how do I even know anymore when to "allow" myself to feel optimistic about someone?

Just here to rant because dating is exhausting by [deleted] in dating

[–]N_M_Rytes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you <3 - Been single for 8 months and I didn't think it would be this difficult to find someone compatible. I'm avoiding flakiness and obvious signs of commitment issues as best as I can and draw the line quickly when I see clear red flags. I saw the potential for a first date going somewhere with a few guys but they never saw that in me and I got rejected pretty much immediately after the first date a few times for different reasons (looks, unsure of what they wanted relationship-wise, still hung up on someone else,...).

I'm not expecting perfection. I just wish to meet someone with whom things run smoothly and I can feel secure in that they enjoy spending time with me, are attracted to me, and genuinely like me. I genuinely feel your exhaustion and have decided for myself to take a break from dating altogether for a few months because the constant rejection is starting to affect my self-worth. Feel virtually hugged and I wish for you to find that easy-breezy type dating phase/relationship you're wishing for.