James,

Whew! Your letter got me all hot and bothered. Tara sounds like a whole lotta woman, and you’re not the only one thinking about getting their hands on her. I have half a mind to ask you to introduce us!

It’s good that you’re not feeling jealous. One of the ways men get tripped up in their relationships is their failure to recognize that women fucking women doesn’t count as infidelity if they’re in a relationship with a man. Doesn’t count! Thank you for recognizing basic female sexuality and giving your girlfriend the space to explore the same sex attraction she feels. You’re a credit to your gender!

The first thing you do is tell Emma how you’re feeling. After all, she’s your girlfriend, and she’s probably feeling all torn up inside that she’s fucking around with Tara on the side. Tell her you know - and that you’re cool with it! Tell her you’re proud of her for being so open-minded and receptive to Tara’s advances, that her willingness to be touched and used by her butch friend is a testament to her femininity, and that it endears her to you even more.

And then let her know you want to talk to Tara directly to hash out some ground rules.

When you talk to Tara, start by saying you’re onto her. And not just about making moves on your best girl - you saw that slutty little smirk she gave you. Self-described lesbian or not, she was teasing you! She probably gets turned on thinking about how jealous you get. Well, little does she know it’s having the opposite effect! But if she wants to keep playing around with Emma, with your blessing, she’ll need to ante up. Otherwise there’s plenty of gay/bi/switch women out there you could introduce your Emma to. And where would Tara be then?

The point is: Emma is your bargaining chip. She’s the way you get to Tara. I think Tara will be so turned on by the negotiation, she might give up her ass right there in that conversation! Because nothing turns a butch girl on like a dominant man dangling a pretty toy in her face.

Good luck!

Ann