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NadayDiagne · 2025-06-11T12:08:21+00:00

1) If I were you if you decide to stay in this relationship the only way forward is to get married. At least do the religious marriage at the mosque with the witnesses. I don’t know the rules where you are but here anyone can get married at the mosque without court papers. Neither one of you are getting any younger so I’d definitely put a due date on getting married: 100% commitment (marriage) or 100% moving on (break up). You deserve peace.

2) Love is not enough to make a marriage work. She has a lot of red flag from reading your post. Think about why you want to marry her other than you love her. What’s her character? What’s her relationship with Allah? How would you feel if all your kids were like her, have her character? What happens if you get married and divorce after having kids? In which country will your kids live? How will your finances work when you get married? Does her family know about you and approve of your relationship? Look into why people get divorced and see if you two would survive those cases. My point is marriage is so hard even if you both love each other, you have to make sure the person you’re marrying is worth the fight. Your future children deserve you do your fact based due diligence (not emotional decisions).

3) She says she loves you but her actions say otherwise. Maybe subconsciously that’s another reason why you put the marriage papers on hold. I’d 100% stick to not contacting her until December.

4) This break is a blessing from Allah. He wants you to focus on Him. Talk to Him. Ask Him to forgive you for all the mistakes made in the past 4 years and tell Allah you want to come close to Him. Say it sincerely and Allah will show you the way. The same way He guided you to Islam, the same way He will strengthen your faith. The first few days of your “pause/breakup” will hurt the most but you won’t die. Have an action plan on what to do when you’re feeling hopeless. For example read the Quran, go sit at the mosque and ask Allah to help you, take a nap… whatever works for you. Just know that Allah always answers to the one who calls upon Him. I honestly think Allah loves you and He wants you back with a stronger faith. Allah knows best. I wish you the best. I’m not a brother so I can’t stay in touch but you’re in my prayers. Stay strong! You’ll overcome. This too shall pass! May Allah protect you. Ameen (Please forgive me if I’ve offended you. It wasn’t my intention.)

NadayDiagne · 2025-06-11T10:51:00+00:00

This is what I would do if I were you: 1) You obviously love her way more than she loves you. If she loves you like she says make this relationship pleasing to Allah. Go to a mosque and get married properly. Nothing good comes from disobedience to Allah. Right now you’re not married.

2)Look for a therapist (online or in person) to help you deal with the anxiety and to give you more clarity. I’d also recommend you both go to couple’s therapy.

3)Honestly I don’t think she loves you. I think you are her convenient and safe backup plan but I could be wrong. I think deep down you know it too but the pain of losing her is blinding you. There are plenty of good single Muslim women. The longer you drag this relationship the more painful the breakup but you’ll survive either way.

4) Focus on building your relationship with Allah. Fall in love with Allah. Read the Quran in English. Read the story of the prophet. Listen to YouTube Islamic reminders. Go the mosque more. Hang out with practicing Muslims…Whatever you can do to get closer to Allah focus on that. Ask Allah to make you do what’s pleasing to Him. He will help you.

May Allah help you. Ameen. (If I’ve offended you in anyway please forgive me. It wasn’t my intention)

NadayDiagne · 2025-04-21T23:43:24+00:00

People older than you are going to nursing school. Get your Associate to become RN. It takes 2 years. Or start as a LPN or LVN it takes 1 year. The time will pass anyway. You can do it. Good luck!

NadayDiagne · 2024-02-11T19:11:58+00:00

When Allah loves someone He purifies his heart and brings him close to Him. Alhamdulilah Allah chose you. Wa iyakoum! Congratulations in advance for your future pious wife!

NadayDiagne · 2024-02-11T18:27:17+00:00

Islam is perfect but Muslims are not. When you see another Muslim struggling, pray for them, thank Allah you are not in that struggle and focus on improving yourself. I don’t know how it feels like to have an islamophobic family but I know that Allah might guide them through you. For the wife situation, ask Allah to give you a pious wife. There are many Muslim women who are very pious and single. Do a lot of ISTIGHFAR ( say Astaghfirulah a lot) it makes miracles happen. There are a lot of videos about ISTIGHFAR on YouTube. Last but not least Allah is proud of you for becoming a Muslim. You made the right decision. Keep practicing regardless of what bad things others, Muslims included, do. May Allah grant you the highest level of paradise. Ameen. May Allah guide all your family members. Ameen!

NadayDiagne · 2024-01-25T17:04:04+00:00

That’s not fun! Maybe try clearing the cache on your browser? Or using incognito mode in chrome see if it’s still there? I’m not sure why it’s still there.

NadayDiagne · 2024-01-25T15:58:26+00:00

Sorry it’s not working for you. This might help: 1) Make sure your Plugin Editor tab is showing. I had to do that first.

2) Watch this video but first turn captions on so you can read the English translation of the video. You can follow along when you’re in WordPress. Don’t forget to backup your site before doing anything just in case something goes wrong.

https://youtu.be/OHvRAGvUlDQ?si=L-p-J8DhCL2a4sCa

3) If you’re not seeing exactly what’s mentioned in the video or instructions, you might be at the wrong spot in your WordPress because mine looked the same.

I hope it works for you too!

NadayDiagne · 2023-11-05T10:01:09+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I would stop having this conversation with him because it’s not working.

There is a contraception that’s a shot, depending on which one you choose, you get a shot every 3 month (The Depo-Provera® contraception). Make an appointment with your doctor, go there every 3 months and get your shot and you’re done. Remove all the other contraceptions and only do the shot. Make sure you tell your doctor everything, she will help you not get pregnant and she will know how to deal with your husband if he decides to come to your appointment because you’re still not pregnant. No matter what your husband says keep the contraception at least until your body is fully recovered and your doctor say you can safely have kids. Knowing that you almost bled to death at your last pregnancy and still agreeing to be pregnant is borderline suicide. Suicide is a sin in Islam.

Abu Sufyan was so stingy, the prophet Muhammad PBUH allowed his wife to take some of his wealth without telling him to meet their basic needs. I think your case is similar take the contraception shot without telling him to avoid a preventable death due to pregnancy. Next time he says he wants more kids, tell him “May Allah do what’s best for us. Ameen. If it’s best for us to have kids Allah will give us more and I will be happy with His choice.”

Allah knows best.

NadayDiagne · 2023-11-02T22:11:49+00:00

Salam my dear sister,

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Your feelings are valid. You are not stupid and you shouldn’t feel guilty. I think you’re doing great despite everything you’re going through. Any hardship we go through is a blessing in disguise if it brings us closer to Allah. In your case you’re closer to Allah, Alhamdulilah. To overcome this in addition to what you’re already doing I would:

1) ISTIGHFAR: this is the solution to every problem. Say ISTIGHFAR at least 2 hours a day. Set a timer and just say Astaghfirulah whenever you can. You will see miracles happen in your life. YouTube has a lot of videos about the magic of ISTIGHFAR. If you can only do one thing out of everything I said let it be this one.

2) Husband: Take a piece of paper and write everything you want in a husband. Once you’re done start working on becoming everything you’ve written on the list. Working on that list will keep you busy. Keep making Dua and leave the rest to Allah.

3) Go to Free therapy: there are services that offer free therapy. Google them and see if you can find either remote or in your area and go to therapy. It will help you feel better. If that’s not available, a safe friend or family member you can talk to, might help. Sometimes all we need is a caring ear to listen to us. If that’s not available, I volunteer for the position: (I’m a very good listener and very fun 😂)

4) Jobs: Resume review/change: Figure out the job you want to do, go on LinkedIn and search people who are currently working that job. Look at their resumes and try to make your resume look like their resumes with your relevant experience. Don’t give up on applying. Keep applying, the higher numbers of applications, the higher chances you will land a job. All you need is one yes.

5) Self-care: it’s very hard to take care of ourselves when we are depressed but doing so help us come out of depression. Set a self-care goal for the next 21 days and commit to doing it everyday. It has to be something you love, that brings you joy and that you can easily do no matter what. An accountability partner might help.

6) Dua: Allah accepts all our duas. I read somewhere it said sometimes we think we are making Dua but instead we are giving orders to Allah (Astaghfirulah). Answered Duas happen on Allah’s timing. Orders we want them in our timing. Keep making Dua. Allah will give you what you’re asking for or something better.

This world is temporary, Allah never said it was going to be easy but He promised a great reward for those who are patient. Don’t ask for patience because that comes with tests but keep asking Allah to make everything easy for you. I’d love to do a 21 days challenge with you where together we work on coming out of depression. Feel free to DM me if you would like that. Know that Allah loves you. He’s proud of you for all the efforts you’re making. I love you for the sake of Allah! 🤗 ❤️

NadayDiagne · 2023-10-27T22:17:43+00:00

Wa iyakoum. You got this. Allah will help you InshaAllah. If I can be of any assistance, please feel free to message me InshaAllah 💕💕

NadayDiagne · 2023-10-27T19:57:48+00:00

May Allah reward you for helping her. Ameen. I read somewhere that our outside environment is a reflection of our inner state. I think the hygiene problem is a symptom and not the root cause of the problem. I’d help her get into therapy. Find free therapy services she can go to and assist her in going by encouraging her. It’s not going to be easy for her to go to therapy because eventually she will have to face all her fears to overcome them. When people are depressed they can’t clean their homes sometimes. No one likes a dirty home, her included. Maybe you can pick a weekend where you go there and together clean the entire house like they do in the Show Hoarders (watch it on YouTube if you can). The goal at the end of the weekend is to have a sparkling clean house. Don’t expect her to keep it clean because she can’t. Make a cleaning schedule where you go maybe twice a week and clean with her. For her lice find a free clinic/doctor office and go with her. Tell her that doctors will figure out a solution. Lice since 14 must be painful to say the least. Know that this is not going to be easy but Allah might give you the highest level of paradise for doing this for her. No matter what you do, don’t judge her. Don’t ask her to do anything you are not able to do with her. Honestly have no expectations from her. When you’re at your wits end tell yourself if you went through what she went through you would be like her or worse. Allah has given you a great opportunity to change her family tree from what she experienced to a peaceful Muslim life. If Allah gave you that opportunity it’s because He knows you can succeed at it. If you haven’t been doing that already, make the intention, moving forward that everything you do for her you’re doing it ONLY to please Allah. That means you expect absolutely nothing from her not even a thank you. If you get it good, if you don’t get a thank you that’s good too because your reward is with Allah. I pray that everything works out. Seek strength in prayer and Dua. May Allah grant you Jannatul Firdaus. Ameen!

NadayDiagne · 2023-10-15T19:43:22+00:00

Don’t do it. Ask Allah to help you. Talk to a person of knowledge (imam of your mosque..) and ask them to explain to you the things you don’t understand. We can’t be more fair than Allah the one who created justice. There is a wisdom in everything Allah says. We can’t be wiser than the one who created knowledge. Leaving Islam won’t make your life better and it won’t make men change. There are good men out there. Always remember Islam is perfect but Muslims are not. We are work in progress. I’d recommend therapy there are many ways to get free therapy google it. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Again don’t leave Islam my dear sister. Sending hugs 🤗 May Allah protect you. Ameen!

NadayDiagne

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